You Belong to Me
by mabelreid
Summary: Someone's watching Reid. Someone he hasn't thought of in twelve long years. Someone that's supposed to be safely locked away in the past. The past is about to come back to haunt him.
1. Prologue Someone's watching

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n this story takes place sometime in the beginning of season five while Morgan is still the Unit Chief and before 100 **_

_**Prologue - Someone's watching.**_

The door opened with a click, moving silently on well oiled hinges as the intruder entered the small apartment. A hand, encased in a black leather glove, pushed it shut and engaged the lock. The hand lingered on the lock for a moment, before trailing along the wall to the window. Both hands reached out to tug the blinds shut.

The intruder moved carefully around an old, chocolate leather easy chair, in front of the window. A small folding table made from fake oak and unstained stood next to the chair. One gloved hand picked up the coffee cup standing on the table next to a copy of a book written in what looked like Italian.

A sniff of the cup made the intruder smile. The faint scent of coffee and sugar lingered in the empty cup. The hand put the cup back exactly where it had stood on the folding table. The hands ignored the book on the table and the large bookcase to the immediate right of the table. The leather of the easy chair creaked as an unfamiliar body sat down and got comfortable. The hands slid up and down the arms of the chair as though caressing a lover.

A look around the room showed the stranger, a matching and equally battered couch, a large flat screen television and a wooden coffee table piled with books. More books stood on the floor in precise piles around the room as if in some kind of strange order.

The chair squeaked again as the stranger levered out of it and moved out of the living room to the kitchen. Everything shone as though new or never used. The refrigerator revealed half a gallon of milk, a quart of orange juice, several containers of takeout, and a lemon. It looked as if someone had cleaned it that very day. Everything seemed to be in its place and ruthlessly neat. The air smells of coffee and cleaning chemicals, a combination that made the stranger smile.

Black shoes squeaked on the tile as the intruder moved from the kitchen to the hallway. The dull beige carpet was spotless, the stranger noticed, as though no one lived there. The white painted walls were bare of any decoration or photographs.

The room at the left turned out to be a bathroom as clean as the rest of the apartment with a small vanity, one sink, a toilet and a shower with dark blue curtain hiding the combination shower and tub. The faucet dripped. One gloved hand reached out and tightened it, cutting off water in mid drip.

The room at the end of the hall opened up to a bedroom. More wooden slat blinds covered the room casting it into gloom in the early winter morning. A card table stood at the right of the room across from the neatly made full sized bed. The walls, as white as the rest of the apartment, held three photographs hung on the wall opposite the bed next to the closet. The intruder stood in front of them looking at a woman with blonde hair and dark eyes smiling as she hugged a small boy with dark wavy hair and glasses. The second photograph showed a group of happy laughing people at some kind of barbecue or party. The young boy had grown into a man standing between a plump blonde woman with red framed glasses and a large muscular black man. One blonde-haired woman and one black-haired woman sat in lawn chairs in front of the group. An older man with a beard, mustache and graying hair stood next to another man with very dark hair and eyes who looked like he rarely smiled, but his mouth crinkled up in a large grin. The third photograph held a grouping similar to the second picture, but two of the group was different. An older man with graying hair stood next to the young man. Another woman with dark hair stood at the other side of the flamboyant blonde-haired woman.

The leather-clad hands opened the closet and moved through clothing that looked like it belonged to a college student. Plastic storage containers stood at one end of the closet. They held photo albums, filled with pictures of the same blonde woman and little boy. Some pictures looked like someone had cut another person out of the picture. Some blank spots in the albums suggested that someone had removed or destroyed some of the pictures. They were in order chronologically and hand dated on the spine.

The shelf above the clothing held stacks of comic books and graphic novels stacked in alphabetical and numerical order. The intruder took one down, looked through it, and put it back. The last place the stranger looked was under the bed and found more storage containers with a small stash of pornographic magazines. A photograph, a one of the women in the group pictures, lay on top of the magazines. It had a simple gold frame like the photographs on the wall. The gloved hands clutched it angrily nearly crushing the glass. What was so special about this particular woman? The stranger decided to find out, but first there was work to do.

The watcher climbed up to the bed and kicked off the black shoes chosen for this job because they're quiet. The need to hurry didn't matter. He wouldn't be back for a while and a friend watched outside ready to call if he came back early.

The comforter smelled like him, a familiar smell that made you think of youth and innocence despite the kind of job he had. The stranger smiled wryly. It was as if the intervening years didn't matter. That would definitely make things easier when it came time for the next phase of the plan.

The watcher sat up, reluctant to move from the bed, the time had come to leave. After a long last look around, the intruder left, leaving the small home to its silence and secrets.

----

The jet touched down on the tarmac at exactly four pm Thursday afternoon. The early winter sky held the sun at the horizon, to burn the eyes of rush hour commuters on the streets. The engines of the jet screamed as reverse thrusters engaged to slow the bird down to a stop. It taxied to a stop at the small airport.

Black leather clad fingers tapped impatiently on the steering wheel as a pair of green eyes watched the group of agents de-plane. He got off the plane last, limping heavily on a cane. The fingers of the hand holding the binoculars squeezed painfully around the hard black plastic.

_Who hurt you?_

The binoculars stayed trained on the young man with the cane as the group separated for their cars in the parking lot. The large black man reached over and ruffled the hair of the young profiler. He laughed as the younger man glared at him, then they both smiled as the dark hair woman stepped in between them. The blonde woman shook her head and headed off to a car at the far end of the parking lot. The young agent talked to the black man and the dark haired woman for a few minutes, and then limped to a very old car.

"Don't worry, I'll watch over you from now on." The watcher vowed.


	2. Photographs

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n thank you all so much for your kind words. You're all the best fans a girl could want. Here's the next chapter. **_

_**Photographs**_

The late winter sun dropped below the horizon as Reid drove into the parking lot at his apartment building. The blue sky began to turn toward purple as the golden light left it. He parked his ancient Volvo and sat looking at the darkening sky. He could delay getting out into the cold to walk to his building for a moment.

The trip back from Wyoming hadn't given him the time he needed to get rid of the bloody images of five brutally raped and tortured women. Emily said that saving the last one from certain death and taking her attacker into custody had to be enough. Why couldn't they save all of them? He wondered as he looked out at the sky and listened to the ticking of the cooling engine. Why did they get the call after someone died? The twenty first century was one decade old. There should be a better way.

He sighed, opened the door and struggled out into the cold. At least he had the full carrying capabilities of his left hand. He could carry his messenger and ready bags without worrying they'd fall off his shoulder every few steps.

He looked around at the flat, yellowed grass and the naked trees. It was about twenty-seven degrees and no snow. December, this year, was extremely cold and ugly. Even though it meant poor driving conditions, Reid wished for warmer temperatures and some snow. At least the white stuff was pretty.

---

Black gloved hands held the high-powered binoculars to brilliant green eyes. The steady beat of a heart accelerated dramatically when the young genius drove into view. Finally… He'd returned from the case that had taken him away for three, agonizingly long days. Those days had passed at a glacial pace for the stranger who longed for a daily glimpse of the young profiler.

The intruder watched, intrigued as the young man sat staring out of the windshield of his car for long moments before exiting into the icy cold of the December What did he think as he sat there looking toward the SUV where the stranger sat. Surely, the profiler couldn't see through the tinted windows of the vehicle to the one that watched him. Still, the rapid beat of the watcher's heart increased. Spencer's eyes had looked into the green eyes that watched him. The watcher would never forget the way those brown eyes could sear your soul and seem to read every thought.

The door of the old car opened suddenly and the spell of being watched fell away like the warm comfort of a well-worn coat. Spencer stepped out of the car struggling with his injured knee and the cane he used. A check on the internet had revealed to the watcher that his injury had come because of his job. He'd saved another man from a bullet. The watcher frowned. All of the research done on Dr Spencer Reid had also revealed that the young profiler managed to get into trouble all the time.

The intruder shook a disbelieving head. Why hadn't he taken a job in the private sector that was safe and where he could make good money? He was a genius! To waste his time risking his life for others that were too stupid or weak to take care of themselves was baffling.

It didn't matter... Soon Spencer Reid would be out of all danger permanently. The watcher smiled while snapping pictures with a high quality digital camera. Another day had ended, Spencer had come home safe and soon he'd be back where he belonged.

---

Reid shivered and hurried across the parking lot to his building. Mrs. Sharman opened the door for him as she left the building.

"Hi Dr. Reid," She said absently. "Can't talk now, have to pick up Richard."

"Hello Mrs. Sharman."

She hurried past him out the door, her salt and pepper hair floating back from her head in the wind that had sprung up since the sun had gone down.

He limped to the elevator, grateful that he didn't have to traverse stairs with the cane. His knee throbbed as it always did when he was too tired, or worked too long, these days. The doctor said the pain would pass. He had non-narcotic pain meds, but didn't take them unless he couldn't sleep. Morgan said he was stubborn and a masochist.

The elevator arrived, disgorging old Mr. Slater and his wife. "Hello there young man! Back from saving the world. Meet any pretty girls in Wyoming?" He said in a very loud voice.

"Leave Dr. Reid alone," his wife said.

"I-its o-okay Mrs. Slater." Reid stammered.

"No it's not… This one never knows when to shut up." She maneuvered her walker out of the elevator car to Reid's side. "He still thinks he's fit to be a cop."

"Give me a badge and a gun," The short white haired man shouted. "I could run circles around you young federal agents." He poked Reid in the ribs. "Before I met Shirley I was quite the ladies man. Now I'm on a short leash," He winked at the young profiler.

Shirley Slater glared at her husband. "Come on Ralph, we promised to meet the kids outside. We've got reservations at five since certain people like to eat early." She said to Reid.

"I heard that," Slater announced. "Come on then."

"I doubt that, you're deaf old man." Shirley said as they walked away.

---

Reid stepped into the elevator car and hit the button for the seventh floor of the building. The Slater's had been residents of the building so long that everyone knew them. They'd been married for forty-five years. Reid couldn't fathom staying with someone so long. It seemed to him they'd drive each other crazy with their little habits and idiosyncrasies. On the other hand, he wished his parents had lasted the test of time. What must it be like to have a real family?

He sighed and opened the door to his apartment a few minutes later. The quiet of the place soothed his nerves. His upstairs neighbor never made any noise. In fact, he often wondered if any lived about him, then someone would pass overhead and he'd remember that the neighbor was there. He listened through the heavy silence that pushed on his ears. Nothing moved upstairs and he smiled. He put down his bag and pulled out the movie he'd rented for that Friday night.

In the kitchen cabinets, he had a hot air popcorn popper and popping corn. He made a large bowl that was heavily buttered and salted. He grabbed a couple of bottles of root beer from the fridge. He also grabbed a packet of beef hotdogs and a bag of buns. The hot dogs heated quickly in the microwave. He slathered on lots of mustard and piled it all on a big tray JJ had leant him to work one handed in his kitchen while he hobbled around.

In no time, he sat in front of the television with his movie theater style meal. The new "Star Trek," movie was starting with the familiar theme song, revamped for the movie. His nerves began to relax as the sights and sounds of the past three days retreated to the back of his mind. He couldn't forget, but he was learning to put them into their place in his mind where he might pretend that he didn't see, or hear, or smell the products of disturbed and violent minds.

He still couldn't decide after seeing the movie in the theater three times and now once in his home, if he liked the new cast of young actors that had taken over the beloved roles of his most favorite science fiction show.

His eyes fell shut halfway through the movie. Even the exploits of Kirk and his friends couldn't stave off the exhaustion from the last three days. He slept, without dreams of the bloody aftermath of the case.

---

The watcher locked the door to the cheap motel room rented for the night. It was important never to stay in the same place twice. Patterns made one predictable and easy to catch.

One hand now freed from its black leather glove shut the blinds against prying eyes. The other hand unbuttoned the woolen coat worn to stay warm in the freezing temperatures of the day and night. The coat, hung precisely in the closet, kept company with other sweaters and jeans.

The double bed across from the closet had an ugly gold spread that wrinkled when the stranger sat to remove black leather boots and grey wool socks. The sweater and jeans came next in exchange for an old tattered blue robe worn every day for years.

The green shag carpet reminded the watcher of the vomit and misery of the hospital.

_Don't think about that! _

The watcher picked up the camera sitting on the bed and took it to the laptop on the desk. The transfer of the photos to the memory of the computer was an easy thing, just a matter of hooking up the device to the USB cable.

The pictures pushed all thoughts of a different time and place from the intruder who watched them with the hungry eyes of someone starving for their last meal. The last photo taken as Spencer had got out of his car was the best of all the photos taken. The sun, falling below the horizon had framed him in golden light so that he looked like an angel fallen from heaven.

_He should look like that always! _

---

Reid opened his eyes to darkness broken only by the blue light from the screen of the television. The movie had ended some time ago. He flipped off the television and turned on the lights. He sat blinking waiting for his eyes to adjust while surveying the coffee table. The debris from his meal sat there so he piled everything on the tray and grabbed his cane.

His knee throbbed as he limped into the kitchen. If he went to bed and left the mess, he'd only have to clean it up in the morning. He washed out the bowl that had held the popcorn and tossed away the rest of the mess from the hotdogs and his drinks. He wiped down the kitchen and awkwardly swept up the floor. He limped back to the living room, wiped the coffee table and put the DVD back in its container.

There, everything was in order and he could go to sleep. He hurried as fast as he could to the bathroom for the pain pills in his cabinet. He needed the medication that night. He'd been on the leg too much in the last three days.

He undressed and changed into a pair of dark blue sweats and a purple tee shirt. He took his dirty clothes to the hamper, separating out the dry cleaning for the next day. Finally, he turned to his bed and stopped in his tracks.

_Why was her picture on the night table instead of its hiding place where he'd left it? _


	3. Paranoia

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n here's the next chapter kiddies. Please enjoy! Thanks to all my lovely reviewers for your kind words and speculation. Many thanks to my beta who hand held me through getting this story in shape **_

_**Paranoia**_

He stared at the photograph sitting on his nightstand. How had it gotten there? He remembered leaving it in its hiding place after his shooting. The team had offered to take care of him on a rotating basis until he could get around on his own. He could not risk _her _seeing it. No one could know that he secretly loved her. She would never notice him so it was better to go to work every day and be near her.

He crossed to the nightstand and picked up the framed photograph. It looked the same.

_Did you think it would be different?_

How did it get from the drawer in the desk to the nightstand?

_You put it there… Are you losing it?_

The problem was that his eidetic memory didn't allow for lapses like that. Yeah… The team stopped coming around to check on him after he got his cane, but for some reason he didn't yet dare put the photograph back in its place even though his hard won privacy seemed to be his once more.

So… If he hadn't placed it back on the nightstand, that meant someone else had touched it.

His heart began to race in his chest. Garcia, JJ and Morgan all had keys to his place. What if one his teammates had gone through his drawers and found the picture? No… They wouldn't do that to him. Not even Morgan would violate his privacy like that.

He paced around the room with his cane. So if the team didn't find the picture, then who'd been in his place?

He hobbled out of the roomto the living room. He checked over the room and the bookcase. The stacks of books didn't look like they had been disturbed. He hurried to the kitchen, but nothing was out of place there. He looked over the rest of the apartment as his meds began to kick in. He stumbled, going back into the bedroom and nearly fell on his healing knee.

_Go to bed before you fall down. You put the picture there. You just don't remember. Even you have holes in your memory occasionally. Remember Riley Jenkins and your dad?_

He shivered… He didn't forget stuff like this. It was impossible. Other people could forget the mundane details of their lives, but not him. He swayed on his feet looking around the room. Who'd been in this place and why? Why disturb it like this? Why her picture?

_You're getting paranoid. Go to sleep._

He blinked… Was this the first stage of his mother's disease finally manifesting.

"You're too old…" He said to himself in a rusty and fear-laden voice. "You're past the average age of onset. Remember the latest article you read about it."

He limped, leaning heavily on his cane to his bed and sat down. His head felt heavy and his eyes like someone had blown sand into them. He blinked rapidly trying to clear away the burning sensation, but it wouldn't go.

_Lie down and go to sleep. When you wake up, you'll feel better. _

He crawled into bed and turned over to look at the photograph in the frame. Perhaps he should find a different place to keep the photo. If she ever saw it, she'd laugh at him for being stupid.

He reached over the picked up the picture. He remembered taking it at a baseball game. Everyone had agreed to play on the team against the Marines on base. They'd lost, but at least he hadn't humiliated himself as Morgan had helped him to learn to bat and catch. He'd even liked it because she'd smiled at him when he'd hit the ball and made it around to second base before getting called out at home place. He sighed, maybe next summer his knee would be healthy enough for baseball again. If he practiced with Morgan again, he might be able to hit a home run. What would she think about that?

His eyes got heavy. He blinked at the picture of her laughing in her baseball cap and red tee shirt. She looked so good in jeans he'd almost stared that day and given himself away to everyone. His eyes shut. The picture fell to the floor next to his bed landing face down on the throw rug. He didn't hear it over the enticements of the sandman.

---

"Hey Reid…" Emily greeted the young genius as he entered the bullpen.

"Hi," he said picking up his coffee cup.

Emily looked up at him as something in his tone called out to her. "Hey… What's wrong, you look like you're not sleeping."

"I thought we agreed not to profile each other." He snapped at her and walked away.

"Hey Emily, what's up with Reid?"

"Don't know JJ, he looks like his knee's bothering him and he isn't sleeping."

"Maybe the doctor took away the crutches too soon." Garcia added as she joined the group around Emily's desk.

"No… He's fine."

"How do you know angel fish?"

"Why are you all standing around?" Rossi said from the walkway above the bullpen.

"They're speculating about me," Reid said, over his cup of coffee.

"I thought we decided not to profile each other." Rossi said.

The girls looked at each other and separated like leaves in the late fall wind. Reid watched them go back to their business. He glanced up at Rossi who looked down on him with an expression that asked the question Reid couldn't answer. He tried to smile up at the senior agent, but it wouldn't cross his face. Rossi went back into his office without another word.

Reid sat down and picked up the first file on the top of his pile. The work would do what it always did for him. He could forget all the loneliness and heartache of his empty life. At least here, he helped others and that made all the difference to him.

Still, the mystery of the photograph bothered him. He wouldn't have to worry about anyone seeing it for a while as he'd stepped on it getting out of bed. Luckily, the picture was face down so the shattered glass didn't cut his foot. He blushed to think of trying to explain that to Morgan.

---

Green eyes watched the entrance to the Starbucks where Reid got coffee everyday before work. Two days had passed since the break in. Life seemed to go on as usual for the young genius, which puzzled the watcher. Surely, he had seen the photograph left on his night table. Why didn't he tell the woman in the picture? The hands, encased in their black gloves gripped the steering wheel in rage as Spencer and that woman walked into the coffee peddlers. They seemed to be getting along the same as always. Nothing had changed in their body language. It appeared that his companion wasn't upset with him for finally admitting to his feelings.

The hands beat on the steering wheel in frustration. How could he just keep pining over her? She'd never love him, as he deserved. He was supposed to be jolted into figuring it out for himself and move on. How could it have backfired that way?

The intruder watched him talk to this woman as though nothing else mattered. Then two members of the team arrived, the tall black agent that was the temporary head of the unit and the older graying man that had piercing eyes. The watcher slid down in the seat even though no one would see in through the tinted windows.

When they'd gone inside the green eyes watched through binoculars while they sat at a table and drank expensive coffee drinks. It was too bad that lip reading wasn't one of the watchers strengths. It would be nice to know what they said to each other as they sat there without a care in the world.

Spencer sat too far away and behind glass to take a good picture. The black clad gloves put aside the binoculars and started the truck. The contact made during the six months it had taken to put this plan together had indicated that the new place would be ready that day to see.

The green eyes took one last look at the Starbucks before the SUV left the parking lot and turned north. It would take some time to drive to the new place. First, there was another stop to make. The time had come for another visit to Spencer's apartment.

---

Reid limped into his apartment a few hours later. His leg felt better that day after a session of therapy. Even though the physical therapist really beat him up, he always felt better. Reid smiled at the concept of pain bringing less pain in the end.

His therapist had told him on the first day that physical therapists were reincarnated Benedictine monks, which had made Reid laugh. By the end of the session, he wasn't laughing but believing that the therapist had indeed been one of the men that tortured the poor souls of the Inquisition.

He headed into his bedroom and took a careful look around before going to take off his shoes and tie. Nothing looked out of place. He'd replaced the glass in the frame of _her _picture. He decided to leave it where it was. Who cared if the team ever came into his apartment? It was his space and he could have anything he wanted there. If he wanted to hang pictures of naked women on his walls, he could do so without worrying if anyone saw it. The thought made him blush, so he decided to go turn on some music.

His I pod went into the new dock he'd bought for it three months ago. His I pod used to have just classical music, Mozart, Beethoven, Grieg, and more. Then he had seen "The Clockwork Orange," and decided to broaden his horizons. There truly was no such thing as any guilt by association.

He scanned through the menu and picked a song he'd heard on an oldies station on the radio. "Shock the Monkey," began to play. He sang along to the music as he booted up his laptop. He brought up a new document and began to try write about his day in his journal. One friend from Comic-Con said he should post it as a blog. He couldn't put his private thoughts out there for people to see. Going to BCC was different as he mostly talked about the challenges of his job. His journal mostly consisted of his feelings about _her_ and his daily struggle not to show it to everyone.

He sighed and shut down the document before actually typing anything. It wouldn't help. He went back to his bedroom and into his closet. All of his comic book collection and his graphic novels resided in the shelves above his clothes. He pulled down the nearest stack and looked through them for a favorite. They all stayed in his memory, but looking at them still took his mind off things. The texture of the paper made him feel happy.

Wait… one of the novels was out of sequence. The date was wrong for its place in the stack. He hadn't moved it as he hadn't been in this stack for months. What was going on, first the picture and now this? Was it a sign of his mom's illness? Was he having blackouts and not remembering things?

He dropped the novel as the rest of the stack slid out of his hands into an untidy pile on the floor. He sat down, leaning against the door of the closet with his legs pulled up to his chest. The angle hurt his knee but it didn't register in his mind. Something awful was happening. How long before the others noticed and the life, he'd worked so hard for, ended.


	4. The Experiment

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n here's the next chapter people. Thanks again for your wonderful reviews. You're the the best! **_

_**The Experiment**_

Reid nearly fell out of his bed the next morning when his alarm rang. Despite painkillers, he had slept about three hours.

"Get it together and get to work." He told himself in a very hoarse voice as he ran a hand over his face.

He hit the snooze button instead and turned over. He hit it again ten minutes later and ten minutes after that. Twenty minutes later, his eyes popped open and stared at the red numbers on the clock. He groaned and threw off the covers. If he hurried, moved at the speed of light, he'd be just fashionably late.

His phone buzzed as he got out of the shower. "I know… I'm late! I'm in big trouble JJ… I'll be there as quick as I can. Hold the jet for me." He slapped the phone shut while the telemarketer on the other line wondered just who was JJ.

The bullpen was distressingly empty when he limped quickly off the elevator. Where had everyone gone? He'd told JJ he'd be there.

"Reid!" An annoyed voice said from his right.

"Hi Garcia!"

"You better get your adorable butt in the conference room now. Morgan is steaming."

"Then why aren't you upstairs?"

"I'm going; they didn't need me until now." She said pulling him along by his arm. "You - on the other hand - are a profiler and therefore indispensable."

"I'm not indispensable…"

"Whatever… Just put an appropriately chastised look on your face." She hissed as they neared the conference room.

She led him into the room where JJ had the crime scene photo of a blond woman, tied nude to a wooden cross-standing upside down.

"JJ…" Garcia complained.

"Don't look at it." JJ said into the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Reid…" Morgan said not looking up from his file, "Nice of you to join us."

"I'm sorry Morgan… I forgot to set my alarm. I haven't been sleeping well. And, since its impossible to make up the sleep you lose, which is why you should always get seven to eight hours of sleep every night so you don't have to -"

"Reid, stop babbling! You'll have to catch up on the plane. We need to get to Denver now." Morgan got out of his chair and left the conference room with Rossi on his heels.

"Everything okay Reid?" Emily asked.

"I'm fine… I just overslept. Since when is that a crime?" he snapped at her.

"Hey… I'm concerned… We all are."

"You didn't answer your phone when I called you this morning." JJ said.

"Yes I did… I told you I was on my way."

JJ sent him a strange look. "Reid, you didn't answer your phone."

He pulled the phone out of his pocket and looked at his call history. There were several calls from JJ's number after the call he'd taken that morning. The time of that call had an 800 number that he didn't recognize.

He looked up at her and Hotch who stood by the doorway looking at him. "I'm sorry I thought I talked to you…" He trailed off. "I'm not feeling very well. I think I need -"

"Don't go there," Garcia piped up. "Morgan will skin you alive if you leave."

"Garcia's right… We need you Reid. You were a little disoriented this morning. I feel like that when I miss the alarm." JJ said.

He worked up a smile for her. "I'm sorry!" He said to all of them.

"We're sorry for overreacting." Emily said.

"Let's get to work." Hotch said. "You better talk to Morgan," he reminded Reid.

"Okay." ----

"Come in," Morgan snapped at the knock on the door.

Reid sidled in, limping on his cane, which arrowed a little sympathy into Morgan's heart when he wanted to be hard on the young agent.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you Morgan. I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning."

"Reid, sit down." Morgan ordered. "We don't have much time. Wheels up in thirty minutes."

"I know… I just wanted to speak to you for a minute

Morgan stared at the young man until Reid went pink in the cheeks. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm tired of hobbling around. I just want to be one hundred percent." Reid said.

"That's not what's bothering you." Morgan pressed. "When you didn't answer JJ's calls we all thought something had happened to you. You do have a talent for trouble."

Reid sat back in his chair. "I didn't hear my phone in the car. I had the radio up a little too loud. I'm pretty tired."

"I need you on this Reid. You're a valuable part of the team."

"Thanks Morgan…"

"I hope you know you can talk to me at any time."

Reid looked at the floor. "I know I can… I just can't talk about it now. I promise I'll come to you if I need your help."

"Then, go get your bag. It's time to head to the jet."

Morgan watched as the youngest member of the team limped out of his office. Something bothered Reid, but trying to pry it out of him now wouldn't work.

_Remember what happened the last time you 'let it go,' with Reid. _

Morgan shook his head. He'd keep an eye on the young man and step in hard if needed. For now, He stared at the empty doorway and sighed. For now, he'd watch and wait. So why did he feel like he was making a big mistake?

---

Reid opened the door to his hotel room. He stepped inside and looked over the room JJ had assigned him. It looked like most other hotel rooms he'd seen in the last six years. The double bed, covered with a cream and beige patterned bedspread sat against the wall to his left. He ignored it for the closet right inside the door, also to his left. He dropped his bags on the floor and opened the closet door. It held only a rack to hang clothes with a few metal hangers.

_What did you expect, the boogey man waiting there to grab you?_

Actually, he had expected the closet to be empty. This room had nothing to do with him. It was a clean slate. He'd unpack his bags and arrange it the way he wanted it to be and see if anything changed.

_What if nothing changes? What does that mean genius? _

He found that thinking about the possibilities of him not losing his mind surprisingly more disturbing than realizing that something else might be going on.

He shut the door to the closet and picked up his bags with his free hand. He put them on the bed and looked around at the rest of the room. Someone had hung a picture of an elm tree in the middle of a field of golden grass. The tree dominated the picture. The artist had managed to make the leafy green branches seem to sway as though tossed by an invisible wind.

He went back to his bag and opened it. The small travel alarm clock he took with him everywhere he went took its place on the night table to the right of the bed. He left his purple scarf hanging over the chair at the small desk across from the room.

His phone beeped urgently at him. "Reid!'

"_Hey baby cakes… Are you okay?" _Garcia demanded of him.

"Yeah… just had a bad morning," he said, crossing his fingers she wouldn't push it.

"_I know when something's bothering you Reid. Spill it!"_

"Garcia, I already got the third degree from Morgan this morning. Do I have to get if from you now?"

"_I'm just worried about you sweet cheeks." _

"Thanks… That makes me feel better."

"_So are you going to tell me what's wrong?" _

"No…"

"_No?" _

"I can't, not now; I have to complete an experiment first."

"_An experiment?"_

"Yeah… If all goes well, I'll know how to deal with the problem."

"_And if it doesn't go well." _

"Then you'll be the first person I call."

"_Promise?"_

"Yes I promise!"

"_Okay… Get some sleep Junior G man." _

He shut the phone and put it at precise right angles to the clock on the night table. He'd go to bed and sleep. Everything would be in its proper place when he opened his eyes in the morning and everything would be okay.

---

Bright green eyes surveyed the room in the new place. Spencer would like it. Soon, he'd be rid of the burden of his job, and friends that didn't care about him. All of the stress and worry of his life would be over.

The intruder walked out of the bedroom and down the hall to the living room. It was perfect, just as the watcher had envisioned it over the last twelve long years.

"You would have been mine long ago if they hadn't taken you away from me all those years ago."

The window, right in the middle of the wall looked out on a huge view of fir trees and snow as far as the eye could see. The watcher went to the window and looked out at the blue, early winter sky. It was cloudless and seemed to go on forever.

The watcher stood silent and still for long moments watching the emptiness of the sky and the wind playing in the fir trees and snow.

"You'll be happy here… I know you will. You'll forget about your team, your family, and _her_ when you're here."

The stranger left the living room and went to find the parcel brought to the cabin for the two of them. The small bag stood just inside the large bedroom at the south side of the cabin. A large king sized bed stood facing the door. The watcher went to the bed with the box and began to unpack it.

The contact had packed the box as requested. The items would make Spencer feel right at home. He'd be so comfortable here. He'd never want to leave.

The watcher sighed; all of the preparations were in order. Very soon now, the time would come to introduce Spencer to his new life. Soon, he would know exactly who watched over him.


	5. Normal?

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n hello all... Here's the next chapter for you. Thanks again for all your wonderful feedback. Keep the speculation coming! **_

_**Normal?**_

Reid opened his eyes and reached over to slap off his travel alarm. He turned over on his back and stretched. Grey light seeped into the room from the edges of the blinds and across the carpet. Technically, it was still dark. He could reset the alarm half and hour and still make it on time. He looked over at the clock again and sighed. He couldn't be late again. At least he'd slept easy that night.

Then he remembered what he'd decided to do the night before to be sure his mind was still intact. He rolled back over and turned on the light next to his bed. He sat up, rubbing at his eyes until they got used to the sudden bombardment of yellow light.

The bedclothes rustled as he got out of bed and stretched. His injured knee protested a bit, but he worked the kinks with a few simple stretching exercises his physical therapist had given him some weeks ago to help with the pain and range of motion.

He looked around as he grabbed his robe. Everything, including the clock and the remote for the television were in the exact places he'd left before going to sleep. He leaned down, wincing as he bent his hurt knee all the way to the ground and looked under the bed.

_This is ridiculous. You're not five years old. You can't possibly be thinking anything could be under the bed! _

He struggled to his feet and went to the dresser in the corner of the room opposite the bed. He'd completely unpacked his bag into the dresser and the closet. The dresser drawers and the clothes therein, looked the same way as they had when he organized the drawers.

He went to the closet and checked out his clothes. Everything looked the same as before he'd gone to sleep. The next place to check was the bathroom. He went inside and flicked on the light. The room was completely white, from the tiles on the floor to the paint on the walls and the ceiling. The shower curtain was snow white and so were the counter tops. The usual travel-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner stood next to his toothbrush and razor unpacked from his overnight bag. Everything was in the same place he'd left it.

He shut off the light and went back to the bed. He sat down and heaved out the breath he'd been holding. Nothing had changed. He wasn't crazy. Something else was happening.

_Are you sure? One good day doesn't mean anything genius._

No… He wouldn't listen to the voice of doubts in his head. Everything was all right. He would go do his job, go home, and forget about the lapses of memory he'd had. That's all it was, just lapses in memory.

---

Morgan sat next to Reid on the jet. The case was over, the un-sub vanquished, and another woman saved from a terrible death.

"I hate the religious fanatics." Morgan said to him.

"Most religious people are surprisingly tolerant. The media tends to take some of the fanatics out there and make them out to be the mainstream in any religion." Reid said over the book he was reading.

"I know that man… You gotta admit that Peter Hold will go into the crazies' hall of fame after this gets out to the press." Morgan said about their killer.

"His mother abused him. She locked him in a closet and made him pray for hours on end for his sins. She beat him and used a wire brush on his genitals for punishment. All his victims looked like his mother. He was punishing her for all his torture."

"I know that Reid… It doesn't change the fact that he's nuts."

Reid shrugged and went back to his book.

"You okay Reid," Morgan asked.

"Yeah… I'm trying to read over here."

"Sorry… I just wanted you to know I'm sorry for how hard I was on you yesterday. I care about you as a valued member of the team and as a friend."

Reid sighed and put his book in his bag. "I know that Morgan. I was late. It won't happen again."

"I know that! You did very good work today. We wouldn't have figured out this guy's motivation without you. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks Morgan… I appreciate it."

"Okay kid… Why don't you get some rest? It's after midnight and we won't be landing for another three hours."

"Okay."

Morgan put his head back on the seat and closed his eyes. Reid watched him for a minute. Morgan had done very well as unit chief. He knew how to take charge without hesitation. Reid wondered if he'd ever be that good in the role of boss if the chance ever came up.

He looked over at Hotch who stared out the window. If Morgan should be worried about anyone, it should be Hotch. Reid could see that the former unit chief was having a very hard time dealing with his separation from his son. How much longer would it take for them to find and capture Foyet? Would Hotch survive if it went on for years?

He sat back in his seat, not wanting to stare at Hotch as if he was an interesting animal in the zoo. The unit chief was entitled to privacy and his own thoughts. Reid wondered if everyone on the plane sat there and thought about the case or their loved ones at home when the case ended.

Reid's thoughts turned to his mother as they often did when he tried to wind down for sleep on the jet. What was she doing? It would be an hour earlier for her, but she probably slept. She'd never had trouble sleeping he'd noticed when he was a kid trying to take care of her. In fact, he'd often had to make her get up out of bed and move around instead of sleeping all the time. He wondered if she had nightmares. He couldn't remember her waking up screaming in the night, but that didn't mean she didn't suffer from bad dreams.

He shook his head and closed his eyes. His mom had the best care he could provide for her in Bennington. Her doctor was excellent. He hadn't got a phone call in months from them saying that they had to change her meds because of problems. She'd been stable for a long time.

He closed his eyes and tried to let himself drift off to sleep, but it wouldn't come. He shifted and tried to lay on his right side from a sitting position, but it didn't work. He wanted the familiarity of his bed. .

He watched her sleep, her hair falling over her face. She looked so peaceful and beautiful. He sighed in frustration and shut his eyes so he didn't have to look at her. He had enough problems without adding to it.

----

The door to Reid's apartment opened with a click. The light from the hall streamed into the doorway leaving most of the living room in darkness. He stood on the threshold staring into the apartment afraid for the first time to go inside.

_It was a fluke! You're not going nuts. It's nearly four in the morning. Just go in and go to bed. You can look around in the morning. _

He limped into his living room, directly to his bookshelves. He scanned all his titles, set in alphabetical order. Nothing was out of place, including the stacks of books on the coffee table and end tables.

_Let it go until tomorrow!_

He rubbed at his eyes that were burning from the lack of sleep. His knee had started throbbing on the plane, always a bad sign. He sighed and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. His head pounded in time with his knee. He'd take a painkiller and go to sleep. It was ridiculous to run around the apartment like a crazy paranoid person.

_What if I am a crazy paranoid person?_

"Stop it!" He said aloud. "You're going to go to bed and stop obsessing. You'll wake up just like you did in the hotel room and everything will be fine."

_Then why are you talking to yourself?_

"Talking to yourself is perfectly normal."

_What about answering yourself?_

He ignored the mental voice and headed for his bathroom. Twenty minutes later after changing and going over every possible hiding place in his apartment, he climbed into bed and turned off the light. He turned over and stared up into the darkness. This was crazy… He was jumping to conclusions about a couple of odd but ultimately explainable occurrences.

_You put your comic books out of order and you don't remember._

_What about the picture?_

_It's the same thing. _

_NO! It's not the same thing. You have an eidetic memory. _

Yes, he did have an eidetic memory. Something is wrong.

_Remember your experiment. Just go to sleep. _

He turned on the light to the bedside table and opened the drawer. Her picture lay face up where he'd put it before leaving to go out of town. He looked at it, running a fingertip over her face. She'd tell him he was being stupid. His OCD about neatness would probably drive her nuts if she lived here. His face went hot. He shouldn't be thinking about that. It would never happen for so many reasons.

He put the picture back in the drawer and shut off the light. Suddenly he felt comforted, like she'd smiled at him or held his hand on a cold day. Sleep felt like a good thing.

----

Green eyes stayed glued on the window long after Spencer had turned out the lights. He was home again. It was about time, this going away three days or four out of every week had to stop. One black gloved hand reached over to the seat and caressed the barrel of the revolver purchased just that day from a reputable black market dealer. If it became necessary, the watcher could take out anyone that got in the way of a new life with Spencer**.**


	6. Mental Breakdown Versus a Stalker

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n here's the next chapter. I'm behind on my replies, but will try to get to them tonight. In the mean time, thank you all for your kind comments. _**

_**Mental Breakdown, Versus a Stalker** _

"Hey Reid!"

The young profiler looked up at the sound of Emily's voice over his shoulder.

"Hi Emily!" He twisted around in his chair to look at her.

"You're in early today." She carried two cups of fragrant coffee.

"Yeah… I wanted to make up for the other day." He said his eyes glued to the steaming goodness in her hands.

She looked from his face to the coffee cups and back again. He completely ignored his files for the delicious dark mixture inside the paper cups.

"You want one of these." She said unnecessarily.

"Um… Yeah… Please," His dark eyes moved up to her face.

He looked like someone starving in the wilderness. She almost laughed. "Okay, but you owe me four bucks for it."

He scowled and she laughed. "I'm kidding," She put the heavily sugared concoction on his desk. "It's a good thing for you I was in the mood to be generous this morning."

"How did you know I'd be here when you got here?" He asked over the rim of his cup.

"I didn't, I just hoped for the best." She retorted, sitting down at her desk. "Besides, you've got a stack taller than mine on your desk. I figured you might be in early because like the rest of us you're a workaholic."

He stared at her wanting to disagree, but he couldn't do it because she had a point. "You're right… I better get to work."

"Hey Reid," She said after a few minutes of quiet work.

"Hm…"

"Is everything alright?"

Confusion warred with something else in his chocolate eyes. "Yeah… Everything is fine."

"Okay…" She went back to her files and the next few minutes passed in tense silence.

"Are you sure?" She blurted out. "I mean, you just look really tired, like you're not sleeping and I wondered if…"

"I'm fine Emily. Please just let me get my work done before JJ comes in with more work."

"Okay," She ducked her head, hurt making her throat tighten painfully.

Reid made sure his head stayed down so Emily couldn't see his eyes. She was only trying to help, but there was no reason to be concerned. Days had passed and he found nothing out of place in his apartment when he returned from work. He obviously wasn't going crazy, so there was no reason to tell anyone about his lapses. It was over, ancient history, nothing to be worried about, so why alarm his friend.

He worked steadily for the next three hours trying not to think about his abrupt attitude with Emily. She only wanted to help him and he'd been so rude to her. Perhaps it was okay to confide in someone. She'd understand and he wouldn't have to be that specific about the details.

"Emily?"

"I'm busy Reid," She said shortly.

She got up and left her desk, heading down the hallway toward JJ's office. He sat there wondering if he should get up, but with his cane, he didn't move as fast as he wanted. He sighed and went back to his files. He never knew what to say when someone showed him kindness. It made him feel stupid, even though he knew it was ridiculous.

Emily came back half an hour later with more files. She gave him half without looking in his eyes and put the other half on her desk.

"Emily… I'm sorry."

She glanced up at him, her dark eyes carefully blank. "Reid," She began to say.

"Can we go get something to eat in the cafeteria at lunch time? I really need to talk to you if that's okay." He asked mentally crossing his fingers.

She stared at him for a long time. Her eyes finally softened. "Okay, but you're buying."

"Um okay…"

An hour later, Emily finally put down her pen and stood up. "I'm starving. I hope you're ready because it's lunch time." She picked up her purse.

"Yeah…" He stood up, grabbed his cane and stretched while leaning on his support.

"How's your knee?" She asked him as they made their way through the bullpen to the elevator.

"The doctor says I have to use the cane for another week." He pushed the button for the ground floor.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not so much anymore, just when I work too long," He explained

They joined four other agents on the elevator ride down to the first floor. She didn't talk to him until they entered the cafeteria and began to peruse the choices for the day.

"I can't remember the last time I ate down here." She said as they headed by mutual silent consent, to the sandwich bar.

"Me either…"

They chatted about some of the cases they had consulted on in the morning with detectives all over the country as they waited for their made to order choices.

"So I told him to stake out the library of all places."

"Sounds like the un-sub has a thing for books," Reid took his wrapped sandwich and followed her up to the cashier.

"I have a thing for books, but I don't wait around the library to kidnap young women, rape and murder them." Emily retorted as Reid paid for their food.

They took their trays with sandwiches, cups of potato salad, and sodas to a table in the very corner of the room. The section of the cafeteria devoted to eating had several long tables in the middle of the room and booths around the outer edges. They took one of the booths.

"Okay… Spill it." Emily said as Reid took a bite of the ham and Swiss he'd ordered toasted.

He choked, went red and shook his head. "What?"

"You heard me Spencer Reid. You've been dealing with something. You never ask me to do anything and here we are eating food you bought for me."

"This isn't a date!" He protested, but his face had gone scarlet and he wouldn't look at her.

"I know that! You wanted to talk, so talk." She dug into her potato salad with the plastic forks they'd grabbed off the condiment table.

"Okay…" He told her everything.

"So you think you're on the same path as your mom because you forgot about misplacing a couple of things in your apartment."

"Not anymore… It's been days since I found the comic books out of order. Nothing else has happened, so I guess I must have moved stuff and I didn't remember it."

"Or there's something else going on." Emily said, looking very concerned. "I trust your memory over anything. If you say things are out of place and you didn't do it, then someone has been in your place. Someone's messing with you Reid."

"No… there's no sign of forced entry. That can't be right."

Emily sat back and spoke while waving what was left of her turkey and bacon wrap in her hand. "So you've got some OCD about your place."

"Emily!"

"Hey, I don't care if you're a neat freak and everything has to be in its place. We all have our quirks. Let's just focus on the problem."

"Why would someone take the risk, and the time and effort, to break in and move stuff around Emily. I don't get it."

"Think about it Reid. Have you ever heard of stalking?" She said sarcastically.

He swallowed wrong on the last of his soda. "I don't have a stalker."

"Has anyone been calling you? Have you noticed anyone following you or -"

"No Emily…"

However, he hadn't exactly been paying attention had he? They were all working on the Foyet case in their spare time even if it was only to let it percolate in their subconscious when they were doing other things.

"Then I think you better start paying attention. Perhaps what happened was a fluke, but this person could get bolder." She pointed her fork at him.

"I know that Emily."

"Have you told Morgan?"

"No… I didn't want him to freak out like you."

"I'm not freaking out."

He only stared at her as he played with the waxy paper that had wrapped his sandwich. It crackled under his long fingers.

"Okay," she said lowering her stare to the last of her wrap. "I'm freaking out a little. It's not like you never get into any trouble Reid."

"There's no need for sarcasm." He complained.

"Yes there is… You need to take this seriously."

"I could be going crazy like -"

"No! That's not happening!" She snapped out at him. "Pay attention."

"Okay… I'll watch out for strange cars and people I don't know." He agreed.

"Reid… You're not taking this seriously."

"Yes I am! I promise I'll be careful."

"I've heard that before Reid. You're incapable of staying out of trouble on your own."

"Emily!"

"Does Georgia or Texas ring any bells for you?" She reminded him.

He went white in the face. "You don't have to bring that up."

He grabbed his cane and hobbled out of the cafeteria as fast as he could.

"Oh great Prentiss… Why can't you keep your big mouth shut?"

She threw down the rest of her wrap and left the table. If she hurried she could catch up to him and try to make things right.

---

He hobbled down the hallway to the elevator. He couldn't believe she's said that to him. How could he ever forget Tobias, or Adam, or any of the victims tortured by cruel and unfeeling parents or schoolmates. He could look after himself. He'd been wrong to trust Emily with his problem. He'd keep it to himself from now on. If anything else happened, he would deal with it on his own. After all, no one was stalking him. That would be crazy. Why would anyone become dangerously obsessed with him? Emily was overreacting and he'd show her.

---

The day ended as it had begun for the stranger. Another foray into his apartment had yielded something wonderful. Reid would be sure to notice this next object missing from his apartment. He'd usually have it with him, but the stranger could see from watching him that he'd forgotten the item in question that morning. It had been fun to watch him hurry out of the apartment for his car.

Seeing him again had been like a gift from God. The stranger missed his wavy hair and his beautiful chocolate eyes. Twelve years apart from him had seemed like an eternity. Now only days away were like agony. The time had dragged minutes into years during their separation.

The watcher smiled… The gift left in Reid's apartment should work like a charm. Reid would know exactly who'd been in his apartment and he'd realize where he truly belonged.


	7. Don't you hate it when she's Right?

**_Disclaimer: See my profile_**

**_A/n here's the next chapter in the saga. Once again, thank you all for your kind support. _**

**_Don't you hate it when she's Right?_**

Reid limped in his door and slammed it shut. How could Emily say those things to him? She'd always called him her friend, so why was she so mean. His chest hurt badly to think that she would say those things to him as though he was incapable of taking care of himself. Did all of them think him so dumb that he couldn't watch out for his own wellbeing?

He sighed… Of course he'd gotten into trouble a few times, but it wasn't his fault. He'd only been doing his job. If he'd stayed behind the lines all the time, then how could he help? Morgan got into jams too and no one seemed to think he couldn't take care of his own life. Why did they treat him so differently?

He found this line of thinking hurt very much. What else could he do to change their minds? Perhaps he'd talk to John about it at his next meeting. John would know what else he had to do to get them to trust him again.

Well, he couldn't stand there and stare at the wall all afternoon. He had some chores to do. He hurried as fast as he could to his room and the overflowing clothes hamper. He'd gotten home at a decent hour so laundry was the next order of business. He pulled off his coat and started to hang it up in its proper place in the closet.

He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the coat. It was his favorite brown corduroy coat, nothing wrong with that, but something was missing. He'd had another lapse, or someone had been in his place. He looked at the blank white wall next to his closet and projected his day there, looking for holes in his memory.

He'd run out to the office without his purple scarf. Normally, it hung over the shoulders of his coat, but that morning, he'd dropped the coat when pulling it from the hanger. He'd thought he'd picked it up, but a phone call from a friend interrupted him. A friend had called to invite him to join the group for a showing of the new "Avatar," movie that had just come out. The interruption had come just as he'd looked at the clock to see that his quest to get in early to the office was quickly running down the tube. Therefore, he'd left without going back for the scarf.

He looked down at the floor of the closet expecting to see the scarf, but it was gone. The same cold he'd felt in the past days curdled in his stomach. The scarf should be there. He hadn't touched it before leaving in a hurry for the office that morning. Where had it disappeared? The only explanation was that someone had moved it. He hadn't come back from work until now and he hadn't moved it, so that meant that someone else had moved the scarf or taken it.

_Why?_

He'd watched carefully for someone following him, but no one had appeared to be inordinately interested in him. He searched his memory, but there was nothing to indicate anyone had been following him. In the last week, he hadn't seen the same car twice or any person watching him. As he'd told Emily, he'd not received phone calls, notes, or anything. If someone wanted to get his attention, this was an odd way to do it.

He limped back to his door and opened it, looking out into the hall. His apartment building had eight floors. Most of the people that lived there were working people and some retirees. He'd picked it because it was quiet, with few children. How could someone get in here three times without a neighbor noticing? If they picked the right time of day, he supposed they could. There weren't any cameras here for him to check, so that was a bust.

He looked at the lock and the doorknob. There didn't seem to be any sign of forced entry, but he'd have to take the lock apart to be sure.

_Wait… Don't jump to conclusions. There's still the possibility that you're losing it._

He ignored his internal voice and shut the door as the elevator opened down the hall. He'd go back, put a load of laundry into the washer, and find his scarf.

Twenty minutes later the washer hummed, but he could not find the scarf. Should he call Morgan or Hotch? No, not Hotch… He had enough to worry about with Foyet on the loose. If he called Morgan and it turned out to be nothing - he did not want to lose the trust his 'older brother,' had in him.

_That's ridiculous… You know that won't happen. He's your friend._

What about Garcia? No, she was a great friend, but would she keep it to herself if he told her? JJ was busy with her own life, and Rossi didn't like wild goose chases. He'd be angry if it turned out to be nothing.

_What about Emily? _

He shook his head. He was still angry with her. He left the living room and went into the kitchen. Perhaps he'd make a sandwich and think it over. If he retraced his steps, he'd be sure to find the scarf.

Yeah, get some food in your stomach and you will think clearer.

He opened the door to the refrigerator and dropped his cane with a clatter on the floor.

---

Emily shut off the water to her shower and groped for the towel she left just outside the curtain. Her head screamed with the pain of a vicious headache. The medicine she'd taken hadn't touched the agony brought on by worry and stress. She dried off quickly and pulled on her robe and slippers.

Why had she brought up the worst part of Reid's life to him? It wasn't as if he didn't think of it every day of his life. Everyday brought some new horror for them all to deal with as best they could. He didn't need her to remind him.

She walked over to her mirror and looked into her eyes. They were eyes that had looked at the very worst humanity had to offer. They'd looked into the abyss so often that it had begun to look back at her. Every day she teetered on the precipice over the abyss. How easy would it be to step off? Reid knew the answer to that question. He'd taken the leap into the heart of darkness to find some comfort and surcease from horror and sorrow. He hadn't found it of course… All he'd found was more pain and grief. He'd climbed back out, and now he walked the razor's edge every day of falling back in or standing upright. Who was she to remind him of the constant struggle and battle?

_What if it turned out someone did stalk him? He should accept that possibility._

She shook her head and switched on her hair dryer. It was up to him to talk to Morgan. To pay attention to his surroundings and be sure this didn't get out of hand.

_You can't blame him for being in denial. _

No, she' couldn't blame him for wanting to believe that his memory had holes. He refused to believe that anyone could fixate on him.

_Would you believe if you were he?_

No, she probably wouldn't believe if she were he.

She made her mind go blank as she listened to the dryer buzz around her head. The warmth of the hot air on her hair soothed her frazzled nerves. She combed out her dry hair, ignoring the curling iron in favor or a cup of mint tea and a book to read downstairs. She took the bottle of painkillers for her headache out of the cabinet and popped two with a glass of water.

_I'll talk to him in the morning and everything will be all right. We'll sleep on it and be fine._

Her cell phone beeped as she headed to her bedroom signaling a missed call or message. She hesitated… If it were work, she'd have to face him much sooner than she was ready. She picked up the phone and called her voice mail.

"_Emily… I found something in my apartment. Please call me when you get this. You were right." _

Tremor and false bravado in his voice made her drop the phone as if it were on fire. She should call Morgan. She looked down at the phone on the floor. If he'd wanted to talk to Morgan about it, he would have called the unit chief. It was probably nothing anyway. Now that they had something to go on, they would find the person responsible and stop them before they hurt Reid. This time, they would get in front of the person before tragedy struck again.

_He said to call him!_

She dressed as fast as she could in jeans and a warm dark blue cashmere sweater. She pulled on her boots and coast and pocketed her phone. Why waste time phone calls when she could go directly there and help him in person?

---

The watcher focused her binoculars on the rectangle of light from Reid's window. That woman from his team had arrived several minutes ago. What were they in there talking about, or doing? One black-gloved hand clenched tightly at the binoculars till the glass cracked.

"What will we do now?"

"Be silent Ivan. We wait until she comes out and we kill her. Then we put the next phase of the plan into place. If we're lucky, we can kill two birds with one stone."

The large Russian sat back in the passenger seat and readied the syringe in his hand. He'd brought a new experimental drug researched by a super secret branch of the government. It promised a deep sleep with no narcotic after effects.

"Are you sure that drug will work?" The watcher said from the darkness.

"It will work," Ivan said in a heavy accent. "It has been thoroughly tested."

"It better work! I' m counting on it for the next phase."

The stranger put down the binoculars when the light in Reid's apartment went dark. The woman still hadn't left his place.

"What are they doing up there?"

"Perhaps they are more than teammates." The Russian said with a sneer.

"Shut up!"

"I will say what I want to say."

"Then you won't be paid!"

"Don't forget that I can kill you with just one blow…"

"You still won't get paid and the press will have your name if anything happens to me. You're not the only friend I have in this little scheme."

The Russian fell into sulky silence for a minute, and then he said. "There they are," He hissed at the stranger.

"Stay behind me."

---

"I'm going to call Morgan," Emily was saying as they crossed the dark parking lot.

"Alright… I'm sorry Emily," He limped as fast as he could behind her.

She stopped and spun around on her heels. "No… I'm the one who's sorry Reid. I treated you like a child. I didn't mean to say those things to you. I just wanted you to be safe."

"Thank you Emily."

They stood in the icy cold, with their breath streaming out under the amber lights over the parking area. Cars streamed past, their wheels crunching on the ice and snow left over from the last snowstorm.

"Well… Isn't this cozy," A voice said.

Reid looked back and stared in surprise. "I was right," He said trembling. "You're here!"

"Hello lover…" She said stepping into the light. "It's been a long time.

"Clarissa… What do you want?"

"I want you Spencer. I've been waiting years for this moment."

"Let's just all calm down," Emily said removing her gun from her holster.

"Don't make me laugh Agent Prentiss. Ivan, kill her!"

"No!" Reid shouted as a noise like a pop left the darkness to his right. Emily fell heavily to the ground.

"Oh my God Clarissa," He dropped to his knees. "What have you done?" He shouted to the one person that he had never expected to see again. He felt around for a pulse on Emily, but couldn't find one in the frigid wind. "Emily… Please don't go! You can't go yet. I didn't get to say - "

"Shut up…" A voice growled. Arms pulled him off his feet. "Let go of me!"

"Oh you are a feisty little man." The man said as Reid struggled. "They shouldn't hire little weaklings like you at the FBI." He let Reid's feet touch the ground as Clarissa held her gun in his face.

"Relax baby… It'll be over soon and then we'll be together forever.

He felt the prick of the needle in his neck. "No! What did you give me?"

"Shut up little man!" He pulled Reid's arms behind his back and dragged him out of the light of the parking lot.

He bundled Reid into the back of their SUV. Clarissa followed, keeping the gun on him as Ivan slammed the door and locked it. The Russian then climbed in behind the wheel and they sped off into the darkness.

It had all happened in less then five minutes. Ten minutes later Reid lay unconscious on the back seat.

"It's okay now Lover." The woman said. "We'll be together forever now!"


	8. The Reunion

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**The Reunion**_

Darkness flew past the window of the SUV as though in a race with the vehicle. Only blackness was visible outside the windows, except when bright golden light passed them from cars moving in the opposite direction. Ivan piloted the SUV along the route she had chosen to take them out of Virginia. It would be a long drive, but she now had all the time in the world.

The interior of the car was dark, illuminated only by the dashboard lights. She sat still in the back with Spencer's head lying on her lap. The drug Ivan had used on him seemed to work very well. She could feel the warmth of his every breath on her legs. Her fingers stroked his hair and face as he slept.

Her fingers remembered the contours of his face and the silkiness of his hair, as though only days had passed instead of years since she had seen and touched him.

"I've waited so long lover." She spoke softly.

Her fingers lightly traced his lips. Their warmth made her shiver to her toes. "I never gave up hope, baby. I knew we'd be together again."

She wished she could see his lovely face in this darkness and feel again the desire that welled up in her stomach every time their eyes met. He had once looked at her with such love and he would again, once he got over the shock of having her back in his life.

The vehicle raced through the darkness to its destination. The next hours would take her closer to her goal and Spencer forever away from those that would keep them apart

---

Reid opened his eyes to daylight. How could it be light already? He blinked against the bright light until the rest of the room came into focus. Something had changed, but he couldn't think what it was that was different.

He tried to turn over and found that he couldn't move from his back. He pulled on the restraints, his heart rate skyrocketing. Had his mother's disease claimed him? Was he in a place like her? Panic swam in his stomach. Nausea choked acid in the back of his throat.

_No, Think! _

He looked around, while pulling on the restraints, but he couldn't move his arms, hands or his legs. He could feel the pillow under his head. He twisted his head back to the light at his right. The light flooded through a very large window, and around white lace curtains.

_See… you wouldn't have lace curtains in an institution. _

His thumping heart slowed a bit at this news. He let his head roll back until he looked up at the ceiling. It looked like someone had built this place from large logs of wood including the ceiling.

"Hey…" He tried to shout, but his voice was rusty as though he hadn't spoken aloud for a day. "Is anyone there?" He tried again.

He yanked on the restraints as hard as he could but to no avail. He put his head back on the pillow as sweat began pouring off his forehead and into his eyes. He blinked against the salty sting automatically trying to bring a hand up to wipe his eyes. His hands couldn't move so all he could do was blink against the perspiration. He tried to draw deep breaths and think about his predicament.

_Yeah, be logical about it. _

The room smelled like pine as he attempted to stave off panic by taking long deep breaths. "Hey…" He gave up and allowed panic to reach up and grab him by the throat until he couldn't breathe. "Let me out of here!" He tried to scream.

The muscles in his arms began to spasm as he pulled against his restraints. Now he could scream in pain

"Who's out there?" He turned his head to look at the opposite wall.

A heavy looking wooden door closed off the room. "I just want to talk to you." He shouted. "Come in and talk to me." His voice was shaking badly. Maybe they leave him here to die.

His heart began to thump like an over taxed sewing machine engine. "Get a hold of yourself." He tried to reason with the galloping panic in his brain.

They didn't go to all this trouble just to leave you to die.

He strained his brain as hard as he strained against the bonds that held him down. Something niggled at his memory as the cuffs clicked a popping sound and - oh God… Emily! His damned photographic memory suddenly replayed it all, the sound of the silencer and Emily falling to the ground in silence and the cold wind on his face, numbing his fingers despite his gloves as he tried to go to her. She was dead and it was his fault!

The scraping of a key in the lock of the door to his right pulled his eyes and attention back to his current surroundings. He watched the knob turn as a condemned man night dread the coming of the executioner to lead him to the scaffold.

The door swung open and he flinched at the sight of a woman stepping into the room with a tray in her hands smelling of coffee and eggs. He stared at her in utter surprise. How could he have guessed _she _would be on the other side of this mystery?

"Clarissa!" He croaked. "Is that you?"

Her face, one he couldn't forget despite the passing of twelve years, forced some of the pieces to lock into place in his over-taxed brain. Here stood the woman that had approached him and Emily in the dark. It was her fault Emily was dead. How could she be here?

"What're you doing?" He asked as calmly as he could despite adrenaline making his stomach hitch.

"Good Morning lover," she said in her familiar breathlessly musical voice, a voice that had filled his dreams, and driven him crazy, a dozen years ago when he was young and naïve.

"I'm not your lover anymore. Don't call me that! My name is Spencer!"

She smiled, but her eyes went hard and cold. "You're just overwrought by our reunion." She said.

"This isn't a lover's reunion Clarissa. Let me go and I'll make sure you get help."

She put the tray of food on a small wooden table next to the door with a jangling clunk that rattled the china. "Don't worry baby… No one can find us here. We have our own little world together. We're going to be so happy together. You'll see…"

He stared into the green eyes he'd once thought he loved.

"I'm not sixteen and vulnerable anymore Clarissa. I have a life and a family."

"You don't have a family Spencer." She said as if he were a half-bright child. "Your job is way too dangerous. Look how many times you've been hurt in the last five years. If we'd been together you'd never have decided to go into the FBI and such a dangerous job."

"_You_ don't know anything about me. I help people. If getting hurt is the price I have to pay, then so be it. I hate you! You _killed_ Emily. Let me out of here!" He shouted.

He saw rage storm into her eyes. "I guess you need more time to _think_ about it." She said picking up the tray. "You can eat when your _attitude_ improves."

"Clarissa…"

----

She left the room, slamming the door behind her. She locked the door and hurried down the hallway to the kitchen.

Why was everything going so wrong? She'd taken Spencer away from his pedestrian and dangerous life. He should be thanking her, not complaining about his new life.

She left the tray on the grey marble countertop near the spotless stainless steel stove. She hurried to a half bathroom off the kitchen and stared into the large mirror with an antique wrought iron frame.

She thought she'd done everything just right. She'd aged, but not so much that he'd think her old and ugly. She'd put on about twenty pounds, but she'd always been very thin so it didn't matter too much. So what had gone wrong? Why wasn't he happy to see her? Twelve years had gone by. Perhaps he no longer loved her.

She looked herself right in the eye. "It's not possible. You promised each other that you'd love each other forever."

She turned on the cold tap and splashed icy water on her face. She'd let him think about it for a while. He would see soon enough, that this was for the best for both of them.

---

His stomach growled and his bladder throbbed painfully in time with his heartbeat.

"Clarissa!" He shouted again.

He'd lost track of all the shouting he'd done. His throat burned from use and lack of water. Maybe she'd leave him in here to die. She'd been unstable when he'd first met her. He knew that now, even if he'd been blind to it then. All the signs had been there, but no one had seen them. He should have seen them. He'd grown up with an unstable parent.

"Clarissa… Please… I'm sorry!"

The key rattled in the lock once again. This time, a large man with inky black hair and cold black eyes walked in with a gun in his hand.

"Who are you?"

"This is Ivan…" Clarissa said as she entered behind the big man. "He's here to make sure you don't try anything while I take off your restraints.

She approached the bed and looked down at him. "Are you going to be good?"

He nodded, emptying his bladder and a glass of cold water took precedence over trying to escape, for the moment.

"I promise."

She removed the restraints and he turned over. His bad knee screamed as he sat up. He gritted his teeth and tried not to groan.

"Are you okay Spencer?"

"My knee hurts. Where's my cane?"

"Here…" She took it from the foot of the bed where it had hung off the footboard.

"Thank you." He smiled at her and her eyes lit up.

"You're welcome. The bathroom is through there."

He hobbled away, his back hurt from lying in once position for hours. His arms and legs still felt tied down to a bed. His knees crackled as he hurried as fast as he could to the toilet. Now that his confinement had ended, he had no more control over his bladder.

---

Clarissa had left when he came back out to the bedroom. He found the door locked when he hobbled over to open it. He jiggled the doorknob, "Hey Clarissa."

He waited, but she didn't reappear in the room. He looked around at the small table near the door and a matching wooden chair he hadn't noticed. The same tray of china sat on the table. He stomach rumbled.

_Maybe she drugged the food!_

It didn't matter… His body would make him eat it even if he didn't want to.

He took the cover off and picked up a sandwich. It was real, thickly sliced ham, with Swiss and Dijon mustard. Instead of the coffee, he'd been dreaming of, she'd left him a bottle of icy cold water and corn chips.

He sat down and began to eat. He also began to plan how to get out of this new Hell even though life without Emily would be it's own torture.


	9. Clash of the Titans

_**Disclamer: see my profile**_

_**A/n hey all... Here's the next chapter. Again, you guys rock! Thanks for all your kind support. Also, many thanks to my most awesome beta REIDFANATIC. She's the best! **_

_**Clash of the Titans**_

Morgan pushed his way into Reid's apartment. "What the hell is going on?" He growled at the DCPD officers in the living room. The men were going through Reid's bookshelves.

"Who are you?" said a voice from Morgan's right.

A man, pudgy and tall, with very short graying hair under his porkpie hat, glowered at Morgan. His grey eyes glittered at the agent with sudden, and complete, dislike.

"I'm Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit and -"

"Oh look boys, the feebs are here," the grey-eyed man, taunted.

The two officers tearing their way through Reid's belongings smiled at each other. "_Oh_," said the red headed male cop with ice blue eyes. "I'm scared."

Morgan crossed his arms keeping his hands flat out of sheer force of will. "I'm Reid's Unit Chief and I'd like to know why you're ripping this place apart." He nearly spat.

"We have a warrant to search the premises," said the grey-eyed plain clothed cop.

"Who are you?" Morgan snapped. "I need a name to give your captain."

"You don't scare me, Supervisory Special Agent. I have my orders to toss this place."

"I want to see your _warrant_!"

The grey-eyed man handed Morgan a piece of paper and smirked. "You feebs think you're above the law."

The two officers guffawed as Morgan quickly read over the warrant. "You're looking in the wrong place. Dr. Spencer Reid did not shoot SSA Prentiss. He's missing! Why aren't you out there looking for him?"

"We have an APB out on Dr. Reid -"

"Supervisory Special Agent Dr. Reid," Morgan corrected him irritably as he moved farther into his friend's living area.

"I'm _sorry, SSA whatever _Reid." The grey-eyed man apologized while his officers laughed.

"I didn't catch your name." Morgan said through clenched teeth.

"I'm _Detective_ Briggs."

"Briggs," Morgan said with some distaste and the grey-eyed detective glowered. "I get that you have a job to do." He said in a more reasonable and low tone. "I'd appreciate it if your guys showed my man a little respect. I'd do the same for you. We all want the same thing."

Briggs stared at Morgan for a long time then visibly relaxed. "I have a gun shot victim in surgery. I don't know if she's going to make it. Someone tried to take her out in the parking lot. We've talked to all the neighbors on this floor and we have witnesses that said she was the last person seen with him. What else do you want me to think?"

"I get that," Morgan agreed. "I'm just asking that your men don't destroy the place."

"Sully, Brooks, show some respect. Stop tearing this place apart." Briggs ordered his men.

"Boss… We're trying to -"

"I said stop it!" The detective roared. "You had your fun, now get back to work."

The two men eyed Morgan with real hate in their faces as they began more carefully than before to go through the living room.

"Thank you."

"Hey… I ain't here to make you happy Mr. FBI. If you know where your agent is, you better tell me now."

"I don't know where he is. I'm here because I want to find him as badly as you do."

"Why don't you tell me what you know about this situation? Did your agents have something going on? "

Morgan's hands balled into fists. "NO!"

"Hey… Don't get testy Unit Chief Morgan. I gotta ask the questions." His Brooklyn like accent got thicker as the argument continued.

"We're family!"

"Is that all?"

"Yes!"

Detective Briggs smiled like a crocodile that had just cornered its prey. "I know you think you know your agents, but I got reason to believe that Dr. Reid and Agent Prentiss had somethin' goin' on."

"Why?" Morgan asked, wondering if he'd missed something important.

"One of my guys found somethin' in your agent's bedroom on the bedside table."

"What?"

"This," The detective went to the kitchen table and picked up an evidence bag that had yet to be sealed. He pulled out a picture frame with gloved hands. He handed it to Morgan with a smirk. "Are you sure you know your agent like ya think ya do?"

Morgan turned over the frame and looked at the picture of Emily the detective had found on his bedside table. He recognized the setting for the picture. They'd had Fourth of July barbecue at Quantico a year ago and they'd all had cameras. The picture, a five by seven, showed a smiling Emily holding a cup of punch and stuffed teddy bear she'd won at one of the carnival games the Bureau had set up for them to play.

"Doesn't prove anything," Morgan said dismissively. "I've got pictures of this same event at home."

"I doubt you got pictures of your team on the bedside table. It's a prominent place for a photo. I mean, your agent keeps his porn under his bed so I gotta think -"

"It doesn't mean anything." Morgan insisted as his heart went cold. "I already talked to the officer first on scene. The bullet was a through and through, and they found the bullet in Prentiss' car door. It's a nine millimeter. Do you know how many thugs out there shoot nine mil ammunition?"

"Yeah… I do, my brother." Detective Briggs sneered. "I'll bet you do too."

"Are we going to have a problem?" Morgan said through grinding teeth as his hands flexed and un-flexed.

"I don't got no problem." The detective spat, "except my gunshot victim. Your agent is my best lead to finding who did this. I got an obligation to see through every lead. I can't let company loyalty make me blind."

"I'm not blind to anything." Morgan said.

"All I know is I got no gun to test the bullet. That tells me your agent probably shot Agent Prentiss and took off."

"Or someone else shot her and kidnapped my agent. It has happened before, "Morgan argued.

"Really?" Detective Briggs sarcastic tone grated on Morgan's ears like finger nails on a chalkboard.

"Yeah really," Morgan parroted. "Just make sure you don't narrow your investigation so much you miss something."

"I have all the evidence packed up." Detective Briggs said as he got to his feet. "My guys are doing the knock on doors right now."

"Then get out of here and let me look over the crime scene."

"If you don't mind, I'm leaving Brooks here to make sure everythin' is as it should be."

Morgan ignored him and walked slowly back to his young friend's bedroom. The site of the mess the cops left ripped at his heart. He'd make sure to put it right before they found Reid. Guilt churned in his stomach… He should have pushed harder. Something had preyed on the man he called brother and Morgan had ignored it for the sake of the job.

Why had Emily come here last night? He looked around the room, trying to remember it from the few times he'd been here when Reid needed help after his many injuries. He didn't remember the photograph, but then Reid probably hid it knowing Morgan would tease him.

More guilt poured acid into his stomach as he ran a hand over the soft cotton bedspread on the neatly made full-size bed. He knew he sometimes went overboard in teasing his young friend. In the name of acting like an older brother, he'd cut off an avenue of confidence. If he hadn't been such a terrible tease, perhaps Reid might have confided in him about his now obvious crush on Prentiss. He might have confided in Morgan the fears and problems that plagued him.

He sighed, shook his head and took a deep breath. The faint smell of coffee, sweat, cleaning chemicals and fingerprint dust danced in his nostrils. He touched the hardwood of the desk in the northeast corner of the room. He looked at the open closet door and the clothing still hanging in order of color and by use.

He cocked his head and went to the closet, pushing carefully through the garments to see the back. A bag, familiar to Morgan from their travels all over the country sat on the floor next to a pair of dirty Converse shoes.

He backed out and went to the living room. Reid's messenger bag sat on the kitchen, open and empty. His badge sat on the entryway table. Only his Glock was missing as Detective Briggs said.

"There could be lots of reasons for that." He said to himself as he began to pace ignoring the looks from Officer Brooks, who stood like a sentinel in the doorway. "We all wear our guns like its second nature. It's reasonable to assume he just didn't take it off."

Maybe something alarmed them both and he took it outside with him. Maybe he was just trying to be a gentleman and he strapped on his gun when he walked Prentiss out to her truck. Why had she been there in the first place? It didn't make sense. They didn't have a case. They couldn't be dating because they couldn't keep that a secret.

_He kept his crush on her a big secret…_

Morgan sat down on Reid's couch and stared across at the window. He needed to get his own forensic experts in to go over this place with a fine toothcomb. Obviously, Detective Briggs had made up his mind about what had happened.

"Agent Morgan?"

He looked up to see Detective Briggs had returned. "We're still tracking down the anonymous call to 911 reporting the shooting. I'm asking the judge for a subpoena for Dr. Reid's phone records."

Morgan sighed. "Why tell me… You can do whatever you want." He snapped.

"I'm giving you a professional courtesy. I'm sure you have your own people on the way to go over this place. I'll allow it because we both want the same thing."

"You can't stop it. This is a shooting of a federal officer. We have jurisdiction. I can throw you out of here if I want to." Morgan argued.

"Now wait just a minute -"

"I'm not going to throw you out because I need your help. Are you willing to put aside your conviction that my man did all this and work with me?"

"I'll wait till the evidence is processed." Briggs said condescendingly. "I don't make snap judgments."

Morgan stared at the detective in disbelief. "I'm perfectly willing to work with you on this provided we get a complete list and report on all the evidence."

"I don't have a problem with that."

"Good, because I don't like your attitude Detective. You claim to be objective and yet you won't listen to anything but that my agent shot Agent Prentiss. Don't lecture me about protocol!"

His phone rang, interrupting the argument. "Morgan!" He said into the phone.

"Morgan… I need you over at the hospital. Now..." Hotch said.


	10. Now is not the Time to Panic

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hello all... Here's the next chapter in the saga. Thank you all again for your kind words. You're all awesome._**

**_Now is not the Time to Panic_**

Reid limped to the window and looked out at the snow beginning to fall. All he could see were the fir trees and the snow. The vista of dark green and white went on as far as he could see. His eyes pricked, and one lone tear fell out of the corner of his left eye. He let it roll unchecked down his cheek. It tickled his face, but he didn't raise a hand to wipe it away.

"Emily!"

He whispered her name to the cold winter morning and the grey clouds over this hell, this prison that kept him from saying goodbye.

"If there's an afterlife and I don't know if I believe there is, I'm sure you hung around to say "I told you so," if you did I'm so sorry! If you can hear me, please forgive me"

A sudden anger burned away the sorrow that had taken over his chest and stomach. All of this was Clarissa's fault. It had started with that first day twelve years ago. He should have resisted her. If he had, he'd be in his own room right now or at work.

_You'd still be pining over Emily._

_Shut up! _

He should have tried harder to make friends at school. If he'd tried harder then none of this would have happened!

"You're weak, like Charles always said."

"No!"

Why had this happened? What twist of fate had brought an unstable young woman into his world to destroy it not once, but twice?

_The new term brought with it the excitement he always felt when it was time to go back to school. He had a new interest to play with this year, engineering. He also wanted to work on a BA at the same time in psychology. It would be just enough work to keep his ever-racing mind occupied. Then perhaps he could stop thinking so much about his mom and her progressing disease. Guilt choked him with the constant thought that he should be with her all the time taking care of her. _

_He'd only just turned sixteen, but he felt like he'd lived three lifetimes with her illness. All the lonely years staying at home, taking care of her, had crashed in that summer. He didn't want to end up like Norman Bates, a gross parody of a dedicated man taking care of his mentally ill mother. _

_He thought all of this in a few seconds as he waited, sitting in the back of the lecture hall waiting for his brilliant young engineering professor. He'd read up all he could on Dr. Clarissa Thompson. She was supposed to be the youngest Professor at Cal-tech to receive tenure in a decade. Her bio said she'd just turned twenty-four, her IQ hovered near his, and her picture showed her to be a beautiful brunette with the most arresting green eyes. Still, he told himself he was interested in her thoughts on engineering, not on what she looked like. _

_The door to the lecture hall opened and she walked in. His hands clenched at the sides of his desk. Her beauty slammed into him like a truck going down a mountain without the brakes. Her picture hadn't done her justice. Her short wavy dark hair emphasized the elfin shape of her face and her emerald eyes. She smiled at them and the class mostly made up of young men whistled and cat called. _

_He remembered smiling when she'd quieted all with a promise that anyone speaking out of turn would have to leave and not come back. _

"_My name is Dr. Clarissa Thompson. You all can call me Dr. Thompson." _

_She looked around the hall. He'd watched her every move as she paced the front of the class laying down the rules for the class and homework assignments. It wasn't a surprise to hear that their final tests and projects would make up half their grade. _

"_My office has an open door policy on Mondays and Thursdays from four to six pm. You have a problem, come to me before it gets out of hand." _

_At the end of her lecture that day, her eyes had locked with his, and he couldn't look away. She's stared back at him for a long minute. It felt like one of those moments in a movie when the heroine looks across a crowded room at the hero and they know they're destined for one another. _

_Her eyes had pierced him to the back of his desk as effectively as the G-force generated by a ride at the local amusement park. _

_The rest of the class didn't seem to realize that something had happened. They all filed out until the room emptied and he sat alone with her still staring at him. On of the doors banged shut and he jumped, the spell of her eyes broken. He looked around, feeling his face go hot. Oh God… He'd just sat there like an idiot staring at the teacher like a student with a crush._

_You are a student!_

_He jumped up from his seat and hurried to the door. If he could get out of there without embarrassing himself, it would be okay. _

"_Excuse me…" She said in a musical voice. _

_He stopped! He didn't want to look at her because her eyes were so arresting. He'd never be able to show his face if he blushed in front of her. _

"_Are you Dr. Spencer Reid?" Her voice pushed at his resolve and broke it. _

"_Um… Y-yeah, I'm Dr. R-Reid," He stammered. _

_He made his eyes look at her. She stood smiling at him. "I've heard many good things about you Dr. Reid. You graduated from high school at twelve; college at fourteen and you just completed your first doctorate in Mathematics a few months ago. I read your thesis. It was brilliant."_

"_I read yours too." He blurted out and felt the blood rush to his face. _

"_Did you?"_

"_Yes… I thought it was brilliant." _

"_Thank you!" _

"_Um… I should go." _

"_Yeah… I'll see you on Wednesday." _

_He hurried out of the lecture hall, his face on fire and his heart thumping like crazy. He thought he might be falling in love and that meant all was lost. _

The clatter of keys in the lock startled him out of his memory. Clarissa stood there alone. He couldn't see the gun she'd had in the parking lot. Her big Russian didn't seem to be around.

"Clarissa…"

"Don't say anything lover. I know our reunion was abrupt, but it had to be that way. I'm sure you understand by now."

"Yes I do understand!"

She smiled that bright flirtatious smile he remembered from his classes with her. He forced his mouth to smile back at her. She carried a small object in her hand, which turned out to be an I Pod dock, just like the one he had at home. A pink I Pod nestled in the dock. She pushed the button on the front to activate it and it began to play a familiar tune he'd avoided for twelve years despite the fact that it used to be one of his favorites.

"Do you remember this lover?"

"Yes… I haven't heard it for years," The beginning of Grieg's piano concerto in A minor, sent chills up his back.

"We're going to be so happy here together Spencer. There're no nosy neighbors, no one to bother us. We're twenty miles from the main highway. So we're completely alone up here. A storm is supposed to come in tonight. It'll be just like that time at Cal-tech when that rainstorm knocked out the power in my house. Remember that Spencer?"

"Yes…"

He remembered that day as if it were yesterday. How could he forget it? She played this concerto for him that afternoon. She'd known it was his favorite without asking, and he'd never thought it strange until now.

The music began to increase in volume as he limped to the bed and sat down at the edge.

"I'm glad you found a place where we can be alone."

"I knew you would be." She said taking a step closer to him and pushing the door closed behind her.

"You know me way too well Clarissa. I wish we'd spent the last twelve years together." She sat down on the bed next to him and took his hand.

He fought not to yank his hand out of hers or throw up. _Help me Emily… I'm sorry you died because of me. Please forgive me and keep me strong._

"I really missed you lover." She kissed his mouth and his stomach rolled as though he'd spent too much time at sea.

He pulled back and black anger found her eyes. "No… Not yet Clarissa. I want to get to know you again. We need to wait till the time is exactly right."

The music softened and then began to climb in volume and tempo. His most favorite part was coming up, but all he could do was try to keep a smile on his face.

Her eyes narrowed at her until he smiled widely at her. "I love you Clarissa. Let's not cheapen what we've waited for."

"I've waited for twelve years. I'm not going to wait any longer." She slid a finger over his lips and cheeks. "Make love to me the way you used to before they separated us."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. One of her hands pushed up the dress shirt he still wore and touched his chest. He flinched and felt his gorge rise despite trying to keep back the nausea her touch encouraged.

"Get off me!" He shouted, pushing her off him to the floor.

She fell, cracking her head hard against the bedpost. He stopped, and dropped down beside her. She had a pulse. He hadn't killed her. If he could find the car keys and get out of here then he could send someone back here.

He grabbed his cane in one hand and his shoes in the other hand. He had to get out of here before the storm she predicted hit the area. He left the music on as he fled the room

He limped out of the room to find himself in a hallway made from wooden logs just like the room in which she'd locked him. At the top of the hall, he stopped to put on his shoes, looking behind him constantly as though she might lurch out behind him like a monster in a horror flick.

He took in the room to the right, which appeared to be a large living room with heavy wooden furniture and a giant bookcase. He limped off in the opposite direction and found himself in a kitchen. A window, with frilly lace at the edges of the light yellow muslin, stood over a pristine sink and granite counter tops. He limped as fast as he could to the window and saw a big black SUV lay beyond his prison.

Panic set it, sending blood racing around his body as though chased by a mountain lion. His heart raced and succumbed to the instincts to flight. He heard the faint ending to the Grieg concerto as he turned for the door. He opened it slowly looking out for the big Russian. Surely, she wouldn't give up the advantage of a big guard dog like him.

The door opened onto a porch. Icy cold washed of his skin and made his flesh break out in goose bumps. He shivered violently in his dress shirt and fitted vest. _What must the temperature be?_

It didn't matter. He had to get out of here. The truck sat there plain as day in the bright sunlight. If he could get inside. He shut the door and hurried as fast as he could down the creaky steps of the porch. The wind tossed his hair around his face. The sunlight made him squint and he shivered hard. He put one hand in the pocket of his corduroy pants. The other hand gripped his cane as he crunched over the snow. The cold wind stiffened it by the time he made it to the truck. The wind whistled around his ears and he coughed as ice cold air invaded his lungs with every breath.

He opened the door to the truck and clambered inside. The warmth of the sun in the cab helped his stiffening hands and feet. He gasped at the change in temperature as his hands searched for the keys.

"Of course she didn't leave them in the ignition for you. She's not an idiot. Just completely unstable."

He looked in the visor over the driver's seat and in the glove compartment. "Why didn't you pay attention to Morgan when he tried to teach you to hot wire a car?" He slammed his hands down on the steering wheel and the horn blatted. He froze!

_Good one. Just announce what you've done._

He looked out the window, which had fogged up a bit with his breath. He'd have to go back inside and try to find the keys before she woke. He took a deep breath and opened the car door.

**_A/n I'm not sure in what order Reid recieved his Doctorates, or where he got them at. So the timeline may not be a correct as I'l like it._**


	11. Unit Chief Strauss and other Happy News

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n hey everyone... Here's the next chapter. Please enjoy loyal readers. **_

_**Unit Chief Strauss and other happy news **_

"What's happening mama?" Morgan said softly to Garcia as they boarded the elevator.

"I don't know. I just got here." She wore a brilliant scarlet coat and a dark green skirt. Her eyes flashed behind a pair of red framed glasses. "She was here when I walked into the waiting room. Hotch had just called you, so I went down to the cafeteria for coffee for us." She handed a cup to him.

"So you thought you'd head me off at the pass." Morgan smiled at her.

"You got it hot stuff. I figured when I saw her that trouble would be following."

"Wish me luck baby girl?" He asked as the doors to the elevator car opened on their floor.

"You don't need luck handsome. I believe in you."

"Thanks mama…" He rolled his shoulders and walked across the hall to the waiting room he'd left just a couple of hours ago to try to figure out what had happened to Emily and Reid.

"Agent Morgan," Strauss scowled at him as he entered the waiting area.

He looked around the room. Hotch and JJ stood as far away from Chief Strauss as they could get. Rossi stood looking out the window at the snow. He looked bored. Other than the team, the room was empty. _Good!_

"Chief Strauss. I just came from Dr Reid's apartment. I called in our own forensics people and I'm confident they'll find a clue to help us find the person or persons that shot Agent Prentiss and kidnapped Dr. Reid."

"Are you sure Dr. Reid is the victim of another kidnapping?"

"Of course, I don't know what else it could be." Morgan said lightly trying desperately not to lose his temper.

"I think it's best if IAB took over the investigation of his disappearance. We have to consider all possibilities."

"We will, you don't need to hand this over to IAB." Morgan assured her as she eyed him with a hard glint in her eyes.

"Protocol demands that you step aside on this Agent Morgan. Up until now, you have surpassed my expectations as a unit chief for the BAU. Don't smudge that record now. I expect you all back to work Monday morning. I'm sure you have plenty to do for the Bureau."

"Oh cut the crap Erin." Rossi spoke up from his position at the window. He still looked bored and he didn't look at the section chief. "You and I both know you think Reid shot Emily and took off. Why don't you just admit it instead of dancing around it?"

"Remember your place on the food chain, David." She snapped. "You know as well as I do we have to consider all possibilities."

"But Reid -"

"…good agent, would never.

"You can't possibly think that -"

"Enough!" She snapped, cutting off all their protests. "IAB will take possession of this case. If any of you even think about overstepping you'll lose your badge. Is that understood?"

None of the team spoke.

"Good… I'll see you on Monday."

She strode out of the waiting room in a cloud of spicy perfume and a swish of pink skirt and matching coat.

"She didn't even ask how Emily's doing." JJ said into the silence.

"How _is_ Emily?" Morgan demanded of Hotch.

"Yeah... How's my dove?" Garcia said anxiously as she wrung her hands.

"I spoke with her doctor just before Strauss got here. The bullet just missed her heart. She's lost a lot of blood, but they were able to repair the damage. She's in recovery now. They'll let us know when she's moved to her room."

"We need to talk to her Hotch!" Morgan said

"I know, but I don't want to upset her."

"Hey guys! I know you need to talk to her. I really want to find out what happened so we can find Reid," Garcia said. "But don't you think we should get some protection on her door. What if the people that did this come back?"

"It's already taken care of," Rossi spoke up. "If Erin barks about the use of manpower, she and I will have a little discussion about the facts of life."

"I don't want to know." Morgan said looking like he wanted to stick his fingers in his ears.

"Trust me," Rossi retorted with a smile that might frighten sharks.

"We have another problem," JJ said. "I'll never believe Reid would hurt Emily. We have to find him before IAB or the cops. They don't care about him like we do."

"I don't care what Strauss ordered us to do." Morgan said as they gathered in a circle. "If I lose my job over this it doesn't matter. I'll do whatever it takes to get him back. I'll do it alone if I have to.

He looked around the circle at their faces. JJ's large doe eyes changed from soft concern to steely determination that would frighten lesser men. Rossi still looked bored, but he nodded his head in Morgan's direction.

"I'll never stop looking for my sweet pea," Garcia said into the silence of the circle.

"We don't leave anyone behind," Hotch said.

"Then let's get to work."

"Where are we going to work?" JJ asked, "We can't go back to Quantico?"

"I have an idea about that." Garcia said.

---

Emily opened her eyes to white light above her head and the sound of beeping to her right. _Where have I heard that beeping?_

She turned her head and pain exploded in her temple. She squeezed her eyes tight shut and tried not to scream. She shivered, shaking all over under something warm someone had spread over her body. _What had happened?_

She opened one eye cautiously and surveyed the scene around her head. She could see wires coming from her body. She reached up and felt something cotton around her neck. Her fingers searched out the sleeves as it folded between her fingers. She wore a hospital gown.

She licked her lips and tried to swallow, but her throat hurt just a little bit. The distant memory of something popping and then pain and blackness brought involuntary tears to her eyes. They leaked down over her face and cheeks. It had been a gunshot, from a gun with a silencer. Who had pulled the trigger?

She tried to turn over and huddled under the blankets, but she couldn't move without pain in her head._ Had she hit her head on the black top? Why couldn't she get warm?_

"Hey you're awake." A kind male voice said from her right side.

She swallowed hard. "Where am I?"

"You're in the recovery room at Georgetown University Hospital."

"What happened to me? I remember a gun shot."

"I don't know… You had pretty major surgery, but you're going to be fine."

She shivered and tried to pull the blankets closer to her body. She tried to ignore the antiseptic smell of the room that tested her gag reflex.

"Are you cold?" The voice asked with concern as he came into her line of vision. He had kind blue eyes.

"Y-yes…"

"Sometimes the anesthesia makes people feel cold. I'll get more warm blankets for you."

He left her line of sight. _I had surgery!I can't stay here. I hate hospitals. I have to get out of this bed and find Reid._

Someone had confronted them in the parking lot. Were there more than two people? If she could make it come together in her head…

"Here you go Emily…" The nurse reappeared at her side carrying blankets.

He put them over her and her muscles relaxed a bit at the extra warmth.

"Is that better," He asked.

"Yes… Thank you."

"Your vitals are looking very good. Can you tell me your full name?"

"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss."

"When's your birthday."

"October 12th 1971."

"Good, just lie back and be still for a little while."

She lay back on the pillow and listened to the beeping of her heart monitor.

_I don't want to stay still. I have to find out what happened to Reid. Is he in some operating room, maybe bleeding to death? _

"Do you know if Spencer is here?"

"What?" The nurse came back, standing over her.

His forehead creased in concern. His blond hair fell in waves over his face. He pushed them back and she frowned. _Did I say Spencer?_

"Um… I was with Dr. Spencer Reid when I got shot." She swallowed again. Her throat felt as though she hadn't drank anything for days. "Do you know if he's here? Can I have some water?"

"No… I'll get you some ice though."

He left without telling her anything about Reid. _Did that mean that Reid was okay?_

"When can I go home? Can you ask about Dr. Reid please? I really want to get out of here." She bombarded him when he came back with a plastic container and ice.

She took the ice and sucked on it, relishing the cool water on her dry throat. It tasted like the most succulent wine, or the sweetest lemonade.

"Shh…" The nurse had said. "Just relax, you need to rest."

"When can I go home?" She tried to push up into a sitting position.

"Emily… I need you to stay still."

"I don't want to be here."

"I know… You'll see the doctor pretty soon and he'll be able to tell you when you can leave."

His soothing tone and all of the blue in the room including his light blue scrubs were grating on her nerves. She shivered.

"I'm cold…"

"That will pass soon." He assured her. "I'll get you another blanket."

_How much longer did she have to lay here?_

The nurse came back with a blanket and the renewed heat seeped into her tired bones. "Can I have more ice?"

"Yes… I'm going to call down and see if they're ready for you."

---

It seemed like hours before they moved her to a room outsideall the blue of the recovery room. Her mind felt less groggy and some of the cold had gone from her hands and feet. Her headache had backed off a little too.

"When can I go home?" She asked the tiny African American nurse who smiled indulgently at her.

_Why did everyone act like she'd just turned two years old? _

"You're going to be here for a few of days." The nurse said as though that weren't terrible news.

"I have to go… I have to find a friend. He might be hurt."

The nurse smiled, acting like Emily was an unruly toddler. "You just had major surgery. The doctor will be in to see you in a few minutes. Stay still!"

"Can I see Agent Derek Morgan? He's my boss and I'm sure he's waiting to talk to me."

"I'll go see." The nurse smiled and patted her arm. "Don't worry… You're going to be fine."

Emily put her head back on the bed and stared at the white tile ceiling over her head. She ordered her self to try to remember exactly what happened. It seemed like hours had passed before Morgan knocked softly at the door and moved to her side.

"Hey Morgan," She greeted him as he came into the room.

Something blunted the twinkle in his eyes. She recognized the shadows in his eyes from his ordeal in Chicago. _What had happened? Had something happened to Reid? _

"What's wrong?" She demanded.

"Strauss was here."

"Oh… Am I in trouble?" She tried to joke because he didn't smile.

"No, but Reid's in trouble with her and the DC police, they think he shot you and took off."

"That's not true!"

"You're upsetting my patient!" Her nurse hurried into the room. "I think you should leave."

_"No!"_ Emily said firmly and quietly. "I promise I'll stay calm. I need to talk to him."

The nurse eyed Morgan. "Okay, but if I see even a tiny spike in her blood pressure, I'll have security kick you out."

"Yes ma'am…" Now Emily saw the ghost of Morgan's flirtatious smile.

The nurse left the room again. Morgan turned back to Emily, his smile gone again.

"I want you to do a cognitive interview with me." She demanded in a low tone.

"Emily… I can't do that. You've just had surgery."

"I don't care! I want to remember everything so you can clear Reid's name. He didn't do this Morgan! I remember the shot and two voices. I want to remember the rest of it!"

"Emily!"

"He didn't hurt me Morgan!"

"I know he didn't," He agreed quietly.

"Then help me!"

"Alright…"


	12. Memories and an Ultimatum

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n hey all... The alerts haven't been working so I haven't responded to reviews. I will get to them sometime today. Thanks for reading.**_

_**Memories and an Ultimatum.**_

"Emily… You need to stay calm. You heard what the nurse said. They'll kick me out of here if you don't," Morgan reminded her. He reached over and picked up her hand to hold it.

"I'll be more upset if I have to lay here and answer IAB questions. You know they'll try to make it sound like I'm protecting Reid." She squeezed his hand very hard. "I'm not going to incriminate Reid. He didn't do this and you know it." She whispered.

"I know… Okay, I'll do the interview, but if you get to feeling upset, we're done."

"I just want to get out of here. I hate hospitals."

Morgan grinned at his friend. He reached over and touched the bag hanging next to her, the tubing led to an IV that infused her arm. He watched as the scarlet, life-giving blood followed its course into her arm. He shivered. How many more times would he have to play witness to a good friend lying in a hospital bed after being shot and nearly killed. How many more times would their luck hold until one of them…

"Morgan?"

He yanked his eyes away from the blood. He forced a smile onto his unwilling lips. "Okay… Close your eyes and take a deep breath."

She shut her eyes and began to breathe in and out.

"I want you to think about last night. You were with Reid in the parking lot of his apartment building. It's cold… The wind is blowing in your hair and freezing your cheeks. You can hear the sound of cars on the road next to the parking lot. You can see the headlights as they pass. You can see Reid standing there talking to you. What are you talking about?"

"He called me because he found something in his apartment that upset him."

"What did he find?"

_Reid opened the door to his apartment and gestured for her to come in without so much as a "Hello Emily..."_

_She followed her distraught teammate into his living room. She'd only been here once before when she'd helped take care of him after his shooting. It looked the same as it had months before, everything in place, no dust or clutter in sight. Except for his messenger bag, this lay haphazardly on the floor in the middle of the room. _

"_What's wrong Reid?" She followed him into the kitchen_

_He stood staring at the refrigerator. "You were right!" He said quietly and she noticed his face had gone grayish white. _

"_Why?"_

_She touched his arm and he jumped yanking back out of her reach. "Just open the door and look inside." _

"_You're scaring me." _

"_Please Emily… Just open the door. I - I c-can't d-do it." _

_She opened the door and stared in confusion at a small vase perched on the top shelf of the appliance. It held two flowers and had a red ribbon tied around its neck. _

"_I don't understand." She glanced back to see Reid standing away as though the fridge were a bomb that might go off at any moment._

"_T-the f-flowers," He pointed at the vase. "S-she p-put t-them t-there… I s-should h-have l-listened t-to y-you. I'm s-sorry." _

_She shut the refrigerator door and went to him. "Reid! Who is she? Why are you so terrified?" _

_His arm trembled under her hand as though someone passed a light electrical charge through his skin. _

"_Reid!" She shook his arm. _

"_Her n-name's Dr. Clarissa Thompson. I m-met her in c-college. She was one of my professors. I didn't know when I met her that s-she had an m-mental illness. Isn't that r-rich… I l-lived with a p-paranoid s-schizophrenic, I s-should h-have k-known." _

"_Sit down and take a couple of deep breaths Reid. Tell me exactly what happened._

_He told her everything. How the lovely Dr. Thompson seduced him even though he'd just turned sixteen. How he'd been unable to stay away from her even though he'd known it was wrong because of their age difference and her position as a figure of trust in his life. He explained how someone had tipped off the Dean about them and how Dr. Thompson ended up in an institution after she lost her job._

"_She wouldn't stay away from me when the school offered to drop the matter in the beginning. They didn't want the university's reputation to suffer. I realized after it came out that I didn't see she'd been unstable. It was as if someone pulled a blinder off my eyes. It felt like she'd brainwashed me and getting away cleared everything up." He bowed his head refusing to meet her eyes. _

"_I just have one question." Emily said as she put a hand under his face to lift it up to look at her. "What's the significance of the flowers? Why do they scare you so much?" _

_He smiled shakily and took another deep breath. "She loved black roses…. I bought some for her once. After the university said she had to stop seeing me, she used to send them to me all the time. Just two of them with a red ribbon tied around them. She said we'd always be together no matter how much time or distance passed. She swore she'd come find me if she ever got out of the institution. I didn't think she would, but I guess she fooled someone."_

"_So you think she's the one that's been in your place."_

"_Yeah…" _

"_How would she get in?"_

"_I don't know Emily." His voice began to rise. "I don't want to be here. Can we just leave?"_

"_We need to call Morgan." _

"_Can we do it from your car? I can't stay here anymore." _

"So we went out to the car and this woman surprised us. She had a gun. I didn't have a chance to use my weapon and neither did Reid. Then there was a voice."

Emily squeezed her eyes tight. "It sounded Russian, but I don't know for sure. I didn't see the person's face before the shot."

"It's okay Emily." He stroked her hand with his thumb. "Was the voice male or female?'

"It was a man."

Tears began to leak out of her eyes. "I'm so scared and tired."

The monitor began beeping irritably. "I better go before they kick me out." He told her. "Be prepared for Strauss's goons to ask you the same questions."

"Don't worry Morgan… I won't be as helpful to them as I was to you."

He winked at her. "I'm glad you're not dead Prentiss."

"Me too," She tried to laugh but began to cough instead. "My throat's dry." She said.

"Alright… That's enough for one day." The same nurse bustled back into the room.

"Yes ma'am… I'm just leaving.

---

Reid opened the door of the SUV and gasped. The icy wind had picked up. It buffeted his legs as he shut the door and limped as quickly as he could to the door. If he could get back in the house and find the keys. She probably had them with her for safety.

He reached the stairs and slipped on the second one as he climbed them. The hand gripping his cane lost its purchase on the walking aid and he fell banging his good knee on the edge of the stair riser.

He screamed in pain and fell into the ice and snow at the bottom of the stairs. He rolled over grabbing at his knee as involuntary tears of pain squirted out of the corners of his eyes. The cold took a distant place to the pain in his knee. He tried to get to his feet, but they wouldn't cooperate.

"Get up!" An angry voice said from above him.

Clarissa stood over him with a large gun pointed at his face. The bore of the gun held his attention the same way the needle used to hold his attention like nothing else existed in the world.

"I said get up!"

He rolled to his 'bad knee' and pushed up with both hands. His cane lay on the stairs where he'd dropped it with a clatter as he fell. The wind and blowing snow made him squint as he leaned over to grab the cane. Now he had to put all his weight on his 'bad leg.' and it hurt like nothing he'd felt. His hands were so cold they wouldn't work until he felt the gun in his back.

"Go inside… Now!" She screamed over the wind.

His body tried to make both his legs limp at the same time. Of course, that didn't work and he almost fell a second time into the center island of the kitchen as they moved awkwardly through the kitchen. He pushed upright at the jamming of the gun into his back, again.

"I should kill you now." She said. "You just don't get it. You leave here when I say you leave." She punctuated each syllable with the gun.

"Clarissa -"

"Don't speak, just move." She jabbed him again with the gun.

Why had he panicked and not found something to restrain her with before pelting out into the snow? How could he be so stupid? Some fully trained FBI agent he was."

She herded him into the bedroom and shut the door. "Sit down Spencer."

"Clarissa, please just talk to -"

"No more talk Dr. Reid."

He saw that her forehead bled profusely. There was blood on her face and down the front of the white sweater she wore. He backed up and sat on the bed with a loud groan.

"Did you hurt your knee?" She taunted him. "That'll teach you to stay in the house. I'm the only one with the keys. I sent Ivan away so we can be alone, but don't think you can leave. I told you we're twenty miles away from the main road. You couldn't walk it in this weather without the proper clothing. It's ten degrees out there right now and the wind chill is below zero. You'd lose the feeling in your hands in less than two minutes without gloves. I'm sure you felt it out there. Your face is very red and so are your hands. A few more minutes and you'd be in danger of frostbite.

She sat down on the wooden chair next to the table by the door. Her hand's shook, he could see and her green eyes blazed at him.

"You're here till I decide to let you go." She informed him. "Get _used_ to it."

"My team will find me." He said.

"Your team will think you were the one that killed Agent Prentiss."

He struggled to his feet and took two steps in her direction. She brought up her gun. "Don't push me Lover. I _told_ you - You're mine till I decide otherwise."

She stood up and moved to the door keeping her gun on him. "Make your life easier Spencer! Remember what things were like before they said we couldn't be together. We were so happy. We will be happy again!"


	13. Can't we all just get Along?

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

_**A/n hello all... Here's the next chapter. Please enjoy!**_

_**Can't we all just get along?**_

Emily turned her head toward the window to the left of her bed. They'd transferred her to a private room. She knew guards, in the form of FBI agents and police, took turns outside her door as though she might be some kind of celebrity or an informant to the mob.

Snow had begun to fall. She watched the big flakes float down past her window as though someone had taken a knife to a pillow full of chicken feathers. They seesawed and fluttered down and around without a care in the world.

_When was the last time you didn't have a care in the world?_

The snowflakes fell and time marched on. Every minute in this bed meant one more minute between her and Reid.

She closed her eyes and tried to remember the last moment before the gunshot and the brief burst of pain in her chest. Oddly, the shot had hurt less without a vest, as though the yielding power of her flesh cushioned the blow in some strange way.

She turned her head away from the window and the falling snow. The white purity of snow didn't hold the answer she looked for while stuck in this damn hospital bed. She beat one fist on the bed, and groaned in pain.

"I'd be careful if I were you Agent Prentiss… You don't want to pull any stitches."

She looked up to see Section Chief Strauss in the doorway. Two agents stood behind her as though they were some kind of honor guard.

"Chief Strauss…" Emily had the irrepressible urge to incline her head as though the SC were some kind of royalty.

The Section Chief and the two agents in matching dark blue suits entered her room. One of the agents shut the door.

"Is all this really necessary?" Emily demanded in a halfway steady voice.

"I think you know Agent Williamson from IAB. He'll be handling Agent Reid's case."

The man to her right did not smile as he came to the side of her bed. His dark eyes rivaled Hotch's for intensity as he sat down.

"Agent Prentiss," he began in a gravelly voice that reminded her of a heavy smoker. "Your doctor said you'd be up for some questions."

"I'm sure that was after you flashed your badges and threatened her." Emily said to the man, but she kept her eyes Chief Strauss's face."

"The FBI isn't in the business of intimidation." Strauss said.

"Of course not," Emily agreed.

The second man stepped forward. "Your sarcasm isn't appreciated Agent Prentiss." His voice had a feminine quality to it that belied his football player build and buzz cut blond hair. "If you don't cooperate then -"

"Perkins," Williamson chided. "Let's not get off on the wrong foot. I'm sure Agent Prentiss will be happy to cooperate with us in every way."

Something in his tone brought her eyes back to his face as her hands began to sweat.

_Tread carefully with this one. _

"Now Agent Prentiss, tell me exactly what happened last night."

"I can't remember anything after Reid called me." She crossed her fingers under the blanket.

"Why did he call you?" Strauss asked.

"He was upset about something. He wanted me to come to his apartment."

She looked at the dark television on the wall above her head, but felt the eyes of all three of the agents on her face.

_You're a profiler. You can fool them. Just think about what a lying un-sub would do right now._

"Are you and Agent Reid sleeping together?" Perkins said bluntly.

She couldn't stop her head from whipping around to look at the large agent standing next to her bed. "NO!" She nearly shouted. "We're _not _sleeping together!" She hissed through her teeth. "I resent the accusation and I want -"

"Oh cut the _act _Agent Prentiss!" Perkins said. "I know you're holding back on us. Perhaps a conversation with the Director will put you in a more _cooperative_ frame of mind."

Emily's head moved from Strauss, who only stared at her to Williamson who looked at her like a father very disappointed in a rebellious daughter, to Perkins's emotionless face.

"I'd be happy to talk to the Director." She smiled winningly at Williamson. "Just let me call my lawyer and we'll set it up." She said sweetly.

"If you don't remember anything then why do you need a lawyer?" Perkins pounced. "You wouldn't be holding back on us."

"No! I just think it would be better for me to have some representation."

Her throat ached from all the talking she'd done. Her neck hurt from trying to hold up her head and the pain pills were wearing off. Her chest hurt like she'd been kicked in the ribs during hand-to-hand practice with Morgan.

"Look…" She turned her best pleading gaze to Strauss. "I'm tired and not feeling well."

"You'll answer our questions now. We need to find Agent Reid. Now, if he didn't do anything as you say, then he doesn't have anything to worry about."

"You know that's not true. " Emily retorted. "You've already convicted him based on some anonymous phone call and -"

"How did you know about that?" Strauss asked, her eyes narrowing.

"What's going on in here?"

Emily looked over in surprise to see her mother open the door and walk in to her room. "My daughter's just been shot. What are you doing in here?" She repeated in a dangerous tone Emily recognized.

Elizabeth Prentiss's dark eyes flashed at the men over her black cashmere coat and scarf. She went directly to her daughter's bedside. "Chief Strauss," she spoke to the blond section chief without looking at her. "I'd like to see my daughter alone if you don't mind."

"I don't know who you think you are -" Perkins began.

"Shut up Perkins!"

The large blond man turned at the sound of his superior's voice. "Chief Strauss we need to -"

"You heard the Ambassador!" Strauss murdered him with a look. "We'll talk later."

Perkins and Williamson stared at Elizabeth. "Look ma'am, one of our agents shot your daughter. I'd think you'd want to know exactly what happened in a timely fashion." Williamson said.

"You can talk to my daughter in the morning if her doctor Okays it. Right now, you're going to leave her alone or I'll be making a call to Senator Lassiter." Elizabeth continued to ignore the men and speak to Strauss.

"What _is _going on in here?" Emily's nurse hurried into the room, her dark eyes shooting daggers at all of them. "My patient needs quiet and rest." She strode up to Strauss, "I told you my patient wasn't to be disturbed. "

She began taking new vital signs as the agents argued their right to stay and talk to Emily. They cited the fact that this was an attempted murder of a federal officer. The nurse ignored them until Elizabeth spoke up. "My daughter needs rest. I won't let you bully her. I suggest you leave right now."

The nurse stared them down. "Her blood pressure is up. I want all of you out of here now. I don't care who you are. You want to arrest me you'll have to talk to my supervisor before you do. I'm sure she'd have a word or two for you, not to mention the hospital administrator."

"I'm sure we can work this out." Strauss said. "We'll come back when Agent Prentiss is feeling better."

"You'll tell me before you do so I can have our lawyer present." Elizabeth ordered.

Strauss nodded and herded the protesting IAB agents out of the room with her. Elizabeth took the seat vacated by Williamson.

"Ma'am I really must ask you to leave." The nurse said in a quieter tone.

"She's my mother," Emily said, feeling her heart rate settle down now that Strauss and her goons were gone. What about when they came back? They wouldn't give up easily even if her mother called in some favors. "I'd really like for her to stay." She pleaded with the nurse.

"Okay… but only for a few minutes."

"I promise I won't stay long."

Elizabeth waited for the nurse to leave. The door shut with a soft squeak and a hiss. "So tell me Emily… What happened?"

---

Clarissa unlocked his door a few hours later when the sun had set. She carried another tray in her arms full of silverware, crystal, and something that smelled wonderful.

He noticed she'd covered the cut on her head with a large bandage. He shut down that part of his heart that wanted to feel sorry for her. After all, she'd kidnapped him.

"I brought dinner for you." She faced him and smiled.

The insane fire in her eyes had dampened a bit and he forced a smile to take residence on his face. "Thank you."

"I realized that you're just not used to me yet. You were so shy when we met. I thought maybe you'd grown out of that, but I guess you haven't. I've decided to forgive your trying to run away today. "She said as though conferring a great favor to him."

"I'm sorry I tried to run away." He said as his stomach rumbled at the smell of onions and garlic.

"I know you are… but I'm afraid I'm going to have to lock you in here at least for tonight. If you're good, I'll let you out in the morning. We can be good together lover. We were years ago, weren't we?"

"Yes…" He admitted honestly, because he could remember the good times.

"So I made you something to eat. We'll talk again later."

She walked over him and kissed him chastely on the cheek. "Enjoy Spencer… I'll be back for your plate later."

She left the room, locking the door behind her. He resisted the urge to wipe his cheek where she'd kissed him until he was sure she'd left him alone.

He sat looking at the tray until his stomach hurt with hunger. It smelt wonderful and she hadn't fed him since breakfast. He had to taste it even if it might be drugged. He picked up the top on the plate to see a large platter of pasta with Alfredo sauce and mushrooms. She'd included garlic bread made from French bread topped with butter and garlic. Another plate held a big Cesar salad next to a glass of icy water, not the coffee he'd hoped for.

Reid picked up the fork and scooped up some of the pasta. It tasted delicious just like the food he'd had for breakfast. He devoured several bites before guilt struck. How could he eat when Emily was dead because of him? There would be nothing left for him if he went back now. His life had ended when the bullet had torn through her flesh. The team would never forgive him for causing this to happen.

He picked up the large roll of French bread she'd given him. He hadn't had it this meal for years, but Clarissa had remembered it was one of his favorites. What else had she remembered about them? He remembered everything, whether he wanted to or not. Including how he'd let her manipulate him and seduce him.

He ate a couple more bites of the bread and drank some of the water in the glass next to the pasta and salad. If he starved himself, he'd never get out of this room. It didn't matter if the team hated him. He had to get out of the room and make sure Clarissa never hurt anyone ever again.

He made himself finish the entire meal despite his thoughts and trying not to feel the pain in his hurt knees. He looked out the window at the long afternoon shadows. Flakes of snow began to fall very slowly. They floated down, seesawing their way to the waiting and cold earth.

He put down his fork and decided to go sit on the bed. If he could watch the snow, he wouldn't have to think about anything including Emily or his substitute family. He swayed a bit getting up from his chair and almost fell. His knees stabbed in pain as he moved across the wooden floor that always seemed to feel cold and smooth under his bare feet. She'd taken his cane away from him so he walked like an old arthritic man.

He stumbled to the bed and cursed as his newly bruised knee hit the edge of the bed. Why did he suddenly feel like he'd been drinking? He put both hands on the soft cotton comforter and tried not to fall. The room wavered around him. His heart rate accelerated hard as if he'd just run a mile. He tried to push up from the bed, but his arms lost their strength and he fell on to of the bed.

His eye blinked rapidly and all he could do was breathe. His limbs wouldn't cooperate with what his brain wanted. It was as though he'd woken suddenly from a dream and found his body still paralyzed by chemicals secreted from the brain so he didn't walk in his sleep and try to live his dreams. The sensation didn't wear off as it always did. In fact, the sensation doubled and his vision began to waver into gray spots in front of his eyes. He tried to speak, but his mouth wouldn't move. He tried to scream, but no sound would come out of his mouth. His eyes grew black and then he knew no more.


	14. Wishes and Dreams

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n hey all... here's the next chapter. As always, thanks to my loyal readers and to my fantastic beta for her support and friendship. **_

_**Wishes and Dreams**_

The door to Reid's prison opened on silent hinges. Clarissa entered the room She stopped to watch Spencer for a minute. He didn't move from his position on his left side so she walked over to him and felt the pulse in his neck. It was slow, but steady. The second drug given to her by Ivan seemed to be working well. He'd sleep as though locked in a dream without side effects.

"I told you we'd be together always." She said as she sat next to him on the bed.

He lay on his side facing her. She touched his face and smiled at the familiar warmth of his skin. "Don't try to run away again my sweet. It won't do you any good. I'm sorry I had to hurt you but it was the only way. You're so stubborn, I love that about you."

She watched the slow movement of his chest up and down as he breathed. She matched her breaths in time with Spencer, relishing the slight scent of coffee. He'd always smelled like his favorite concoction. After all these years, it must be a permanent part of his skin.

She reached out and gently turned him over on his back. He let out a small sound like a kitten and she smiled. It had been years since she'd heard him sleep. All the cares of his world faded from his face and he looked like an angel fallen from the heights of the celestial plane.

"I never forgot." She said as her fingers reached up to undo the buttons on his white shirt. "I dreamed about you every night and the things we used to do in my apartment on rainy afternoons or late weekend nights."

"_I'm very impressed with your work Spencer." _

"_T-thank you," He squeaked._

"_Now what can I do for you." _

_She sat back in her chair behind a ruthlessly organized desk. Her clock showed that the two hours devoted to her student's questions twice a week had nearly elapsed. _

"_Oh… um, I just wanted to know if there are restrictions on our year end projects." _

"_No… My only rule is that they be handed in on time." _

"_No problem…" _

"_Was there something else you wanted, Spencer?"_

"_No," He blushed trying to keep his eyes anywhere but her face. _

"_You and I are alike," She said and he'd finally looked at her._

"_W-what do you m-mean?" _

"_I just mean that both of us have suffered in much the same way." _

"_Oh, um Dr. Thompson I don't know what they told you about me, but I -" _

"_I know you're a genius…. I know you've had a very rough life. I know you're sensitive and sweet, and misunderstood," She said. "Would it surprise you to know that I'm also a genius and I'm the youngest tenured member of the staff?" _

_He nodded his head looking a bit astonished. "I know..." _

"_I started here when I was twenty one years old. I'm twenty-four now. I just want you to know that I understand the challenges of school when you're the smartest one in the room and others don't understand. I hope you'll confide in me if you need to." _

_He smiled at her and stood. "Thank you Dr. Thompson." _

Shetook off his shirt and looked at his bare chest with starving eyes. His body had changed in the twelve years since they'd torn her away from him. He looked like a man instead of a boy and it looked good on him. She shifted and straddled his sleeping body, running her hands up and down his torso. He shivered and groaned under her touch.

"I should've just come back to you when they released me from the place. It was wrong to play games. I frightened you my darling. I'll make it up to you and you'll forgive me."

_She shut the office door and locked it. The blinds were drawn and she shut off the light. He watched her in the low light of the coming storm. _

"_Dr. Thompson?"_

_She walked over to where he sat and stood looking down at him. His dark eyes looked black in the graying light. _

"_Spencer?"_

"_W-why did you l-lock the d-door?" _

"_You're so naïve Spencer. I can't believe that you've been in my class for weeks now and you haven't noticed me." _

_Blood rushed to his face. "Um… It's not appropriate. You're my teacher and you're, um well I -" _

"_You're right," She said softly as she straddled his lap. "I am a lot older than you, but I don't care. If I don't care you shouldn't care" _

_She kissed him even as his hand pushed at her arms. She pushed her tongue against his lips until he finally relaxed and opened his mouth. Her hands slid up his arm and twined in his short wavy hair. His arm wrapped around her pulling her close. _

"_I knew it." She said when they parted for breath. "We're soul mates Spencer. We shouldn't fight it."_

"_I d-don't want to get you in t-trouble." _

_She pulled his face up to hers and smiled at him. "Love is never wrong Spencer. I've loved you from the moment I saw you. I never thought love at first sight could be possible until I met you." _

_She saw something down in the depths of his eyes. He reached up and touched her face with one of his long-fingered hands. "I've never had a girlfriend before," He said with a very rosy face behind his horn-rimmed glasses. _

"_It's okay baby… I'm a virgin too," She confided. _

_She could see he didn't believe her. "It's true. I'm been saving myself for the right one." _

_She got up from his lap. She went around to her desk and wrote on a piece of paper. "Here's my number and my address. I'd really like to see you outside this dreary place. It's Friday tomorrow. Why don't you come over say about three o'clock?" _

_He stared at her for a long time. What he should and shouldn't do warred in his eyes as she waited for an answer._

"_Okay!" He said. _

"You were so shy! I thought it was so cute the way you'd blush in class when I called on you."

She opened the zipper on his pants and moved it down slowly. His breathing increased as she pulled them off leaving him in cotton boxers. Goosebumps broke out on his legs and arms as her hands caressed his bare legs. "Oh sweetheart… Look at what that terrible job did to you." She gently touched one tip of her finger to the irregular, red scar on his knee.

"Nothing like that will ever happen to you again. I'll keep you safe always baby." Her hands slid up under his boxers to the tops of his thighs and he groaned.

"I knew you missed me baby. It's not right that they pulled us apart. We had so many good times baby, talking and laughing. We watched old movies and sci-fi. You read books to me. I could listen to you read for hours. We can have that again baby. Just surrender to me and I'll take care of you."

---

_Everywhere he looked, white light surrounded him as though he'd ascended into the heavens. Whiteness drifted around him and the dark haired woman sitting on the edge of a king sized bed. The comforter and the pillows were whiter than virgin snow. _

"_Why are you standing there staring at me Spencer?"_

_He jumped at the sound of her voice. She turned and smiled at him. "I think you need to come closer. _

_She held out her hand to him. He stepped slowly forward and clasped her warm fingers as they peeked out from the long sleeve of white lace. He couldn't stop staring at the low cut lacy top she wore with a white silk skirt that touched the floor. _

"_Spencer?"_

_She stood up and put her arms around his neck. He fought the urge to pull away from her touch as he always flinched at the touch of another person. She kissed him with slowness that made his blood fire so hot his hands began to sweat. She pulled back with a pop and she grinned. _

"_I-I never thought you'd ever notice me." He gasped._

"_What's not to not notice? You're sweet and kind, and very gentle. You're cute and so very kissable." She said, bending down her head to lick his neck._

"_Really?"_

"_Yes!"_

_Her hands slid all over his body making goose bumps pop out on all the exposed flesh. Time passed so quickly and yet slowly. He looked around and wondered when had he lost all his clothes?_

"_Emily?"_

"_Yes Spencer," She looked him straight in the eye and his heart began to race. _

"_Do you believe in love at first sight?" He couldn't believe he was asking her this question. Any minute she'd start laughing at him. _

_She pulled back and took his face in her hands. "I don't know… I know I never felt anything like the way I feel about you. It wasn't something that was "at first sight," but I don't care." _

"_Oh, I guess that's okay." _

_It didn't matter if she hadn't fallen for him as he'd fallen for her from the very beginning. _

"_Hey Spencer, pay attention," She said calling his mind back to the fact that she'd removed her lacy top and the pure white bra under it. "What's your pleasure, Spencer Reid?" _

_Her dark eyes sparkled as they had the last time he saw her. It didn't matter that she'd still be dead when he came back from this place, wherever they were. For once, he wanted to feel without regret. _

---

Clarissa pulled off his boxers and sat back to drink in the sight of her beloved Angel. His long, lean body shivered slightly as if her were cold. She climbed off the bed and quickly removed her clothing. Carefully she moved him so that he lay under the covers. She climbed back into the bed and wrapped her arms around his bare body.

"We'll always be together Spencer."

_The thunderstorms started again that afternoon after a brief break over the last twelve hours. She opened the door at precisely three pm when he knocked. She didn't say anything to him as she shut the door and pushed him against it. _

_Weeks had passed quickly since she'd first invited him to her place. This day and this time became their special time when they didn't have to pretend to be student and teacher. _

_A loud crack of thunder - as loud as a bomb blast - fifteen minutes later brought his brain back to the reality of her apartment. His chest heaved for breath. His toes and fingers felt numb as though he'd got a bad case of frostbite. _

"_Hey baby…" _

_She kissed his bare chest and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He should get up from here and leave. God it was so embarrassing. He shouldn't have let her do this to him. It was wrong and…_

"_What's the matter baby?" _

"_You know," He said gruffly. "I can't believe I -" _

"_It's okay baby." _

_He rolled away from her and got to his feet with his cords and shirt in one hand. "I'm going home." He reached for his boxers on the floor. She grabbed his hand and made him stop._

"_It's okay Spencer… We have the whole weekend if you want." _

"_I think it's too fast. This is wrong. I should go." _

_He pulled on his clothes as fast as he could, ripping his shirt as he tried to button it. "I have to go." He repeated. _

"_Spencer, please don't walk away…" _

_He grabbed his glasses from the floor and hurried to the door. "I'm sorry Clarissa."_

_---_

"I remember that day like it was yesterday Spencer. You were so sweet and so young. I was wrong to push you so hard. It's okay though, because you forgave me."

She stroked his face while her other hand stayed busy under the blanket. "I'm sorry I had to kill Emily Prentiss, but you'll see its better that way. You'll forget about her soon. Then we can pick up where we left off.

He groaned under the ministrations of her warm hand and fingers. "Emily… I love you Emily." He sighed in his sleep. "I'll always love you."

She sat up straight on the bed. "You son of a bitch," she reared back and slapped his face as hard as she could. His head flew to the right. She slapped him a second time, leaving a red mark on his cheek. "Don't you ever say her name in our bed again. I'll have to hurt you baby and I don't want to hurt you," She told Reid as tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes.


	15. The Game changes, Again

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/m finally! Thanks for your patience in waiting for this chapter. The site wouldn't let me upload the chapter for three days. Please enjoy!**_

_**The Game chages, Again**_

_Her hands lit a fire under his skin as they moved over his body. Heat flared up in his face, but he ignored the urge to pull away from her mouth and her hands. _

"_Spencer…" She whispered in his ear. _

_His arms pulled her in as close as he could. They fit together perfectly as though a favoring and generous God had made them for each other. The softness of her skin and its warmth made his insides flip and stretch at the same time._

"_Is this real?" He murmured to her on their cloud of white. _

"_It's as real as you want it to be." _

"_I miss you." He held her tighter. "It's all a dream." _

_She kissed his shoulder and neck. "Why?" _

"_You're dead. I'll never see you again. I'll never get the chance to tell you I love you."_

"_I'm not dead." _

_She shushed him with another kiss. Her hands moved on his body and he forgot the reason's for his unhappiness. "Oh Emily…" _

_He opened his eyes to Emily's smiling face. "Spencer?" Suddenly, her face rippled and became Tobias Henkel. The white changed to black and red around him. He sat in the chair, that dreaded chair that had held him captive for over two days…_

"_You're a sinner…" Charles said. _

_Pain exploded in his face as Charles slapped him hard across the face. His head rocked back on the chair hitting the back of it with a loud crack. Charles hit him again and again. "You're weak… You're a fornicator that belongs in hell with your friends and mother."_

"_No…" Spencer screamed. "I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not weak! I'm not a sinner." _

_Tobias's face morphed into Clarissa. "I just wanted to keep you safe Lover. Why can't you accept that?"_

"_Please just let me go." _

_She stepped back from him into the black behind the red light shinning down on his head. "I can't let you go Spencer. If you won't love me, then I'll just leave you here with the crazy man and his drugs." _

_Tobias stepped out of the darkness with a needle in his hand. "I promise this will help. It's the only thing that will save you from my father." _

"_I don't want it Tobias. Please don't…" _

"_It's okay!" _

"_No, I don't want it. Let me go!"_

_Tears began leaking down his cheeks. "I don't want it." He whispered in a hoarse voice as Tobias readied the syringe. "Please Tobias."_

"_I'll stop when you stop fighting Clarissa. She wants what's best for you." _

"_I can't… I want to go home." _

"_Then…" Tobias injected the drug into Reid's arm. "I guess you haven't learned your lesson." _

"_No!" _

_---_

Clarissa pulled a box of files from her bedroom closet. She dropped down on the small window seat built into the south facing window. The temperature was colder in this corner of the room at night, but the cold kept her nerves from snapping. She shouldn't have lost her temper like that.

"You're turning into your mother."

She shook her head. No, her mother, the bitch, had died years ago. She was not like her mother! She was different no matter what her doctor always told her. She'd only taken the chance, had the guts to go after what she wanted. Wasn't that what they said you had to do with your life, all those self-help people? That you had to take charge of your life and make it better.

She opened the file, hidden away in a safety deposit box under another name all these years, to look at the picture on top of the stack. The girl in the picture had mousy hair and glasses. She wore a dark blue cap and gown with a gold braid around her shoulders. Graduating first in her glass at school was the first step to changing the horrible existence she'd had as a child.

She flicked through more photos, past her world travels after school before she became a teacher and all the changes to her appearance made by designers and hair stylists. It had taken every extra penny her vast stock portfolio provided, but she'd remade herself. All that had remained was to find her soul mate.

Spencer had walked into her classroom and she'd known by just looking at him that first day that he'd be the one to make all her dreams come true. He inspired her in ways she'd never felt.

She picked up a photo taken of him the day after he arrived in her class. She'd taken it across from the basement apartment he'd rented from a family off campus who'd agreed to look after him. She'd researched them and watched them. They didn't seem to care about Spencer's comings and goings even though they had promised to look after him.

"They're all the same, the adults." She said as she looked through more snapped photographs,

She found one taken willingly in front of the Bookstore. He'd wanted one to send to his mother. He said it had to be something she could relate to so he chose the book store.

"You were so shy that day. We ran into each other outside the Bookstore and you asked me to take the picture. I felt sorry for you. I knew you didn't have many friends. I couldn't believe no one could see how great you are. I saw it… We had such good times.

She closed the file and put it on the seat beside her. She curled her legs up on the seat and stared at the floor. There had to be a way to get through to him. Perhaps she was going about this all the wrong way. Maybe she should try what had worked for her years ago. Would he respond in the same way now that he'd grown up?

"I don't want to keep hurting you baby, but I will if I have to. Please don't make me do it."

She sighed and headed to her bed. Perhaps everything would look better in the morning.

---

Reid opened his eyes and gasped. He coughed and rolled to his side. His head felt strange as though he'd been lying in one position for hours. His heartbeat slowly like it rested after too much activity. He put his hand to his chest and felt bare skin.

The light from the sun was in the wrong position. It was as if morning had come, but how could that be when he'd just eaten dinner. He ran his tongue over his mouth. Overwhelming thirst parched his throat. Just now, much time had gone by. He looked around for the clock. What happened to his watch? She would let him keep the pocket watch until then. Why take it now?

"She drugged you again you idiot. Next time don't eat the food."

Yeah, like a hunger strike would really get him anything. He would have to eat no matter what she put in the food. "At least she won't poison you." He told himself.

_Right… How do you know that? _

He sat up and thought seriously about trying to stand up because he needed a bathroom break and something to drink. He injured knee throbbed. The gunshot knee didn't hurt for some odd reason.

"So don't complain. You should be happy about that."

"Stop talking to yourself and see if you can stand up."

He stood as carefully as he could, but the hurt knee still screamed in pain as he straightened up. He groaned and involuntary tears filled his eyes. He tried to hobble, but almost fell to the floor when the bruised knee gave out on him.

"Okay, get to the bathroom first," He said through gritted teeth. "Then worry about your knee. What I wouldn't do for my cane." He muttered.

He came out of the bathroom half an hour later with an empty bladder, a glass of water in his hand and one of the towels around his waist. The shower had helped his knee. He looked around for his clothes and discovered they had disappeared.

---

Clarissa picked up Reid's purple scarf and wrapped around her neck. The snow had quit that morning leaving an unbroken vista of white and diamonds against the dark green fir trees. It was as if some apocalyptic disaster had wiped away the rest of the world, but left the little cabin untouched.

"You better hope not. You need supplies."

They had food enough, but the generator-needed gasoline to run it. She hadn't had the time to stock up before her plans had come to a head. They had enough for another five days, but no more than that. She set the washing machine on her way out of the door. If Spencer wanted clothes, he would have to deal with it himself. She pulled on her gloves and a knitted cap. Hopefully, the road hadn't snowed in.

"Clarissa!" He shouted. "Hey, I need my clothes. What are you doing?"

His fingers rubbed at his bruised cheek. How had Charles slapping him in his dream manifested on his face. Maybe it was like the case he studied of Stigmata. Some people could make wounds appear with the power of their belief. Was he still that scared of Charles and Rafael?

"I would kill for a meeting," he grumbled, walking up and down the small room, trying to get the kinks out of his knee. "And I'd kill for my cane."

"Come on Clarissa… Don't leave me locked up in here." He shouted at the door. "Please talk to me. I'm sorry I tried to leave you!"

Silence reined around the little room, getting on his nerves as he awkwardly circled his bed and tried not to think about the erotic dreams he'd had about Emily. His face went hot at the memory of her and the things she'd done to him in those dreams before Charles had showed up.

He tried to sit without falling on the bed. "Clarissa!"

She'd done something to him. He could feel it every time he thought about her. It was like being back at school again with her. His body had betrayed him by remembering her touch. Had she been in his room that night? He looked down at the bed and noticed that she'd not only stolen his clothes, but she'd taken the sheets too. What was going on with her?

"Clarissa, please don't ignore me. I'm sorry."

His apology sounded false. _It is false… What do you expect?_

He stood up in his towel and went to the door. "You can't go out there. Even if the door's unlocked, she's out there and you can't parade around in this towel!"

He ignored his advice and tried the door. It opened without trouble. His heart leaped into his throat. What game was she playing with him?"

"Clarissa? What did you do with my clothes?"

The sound of his voice made him think that he might be alone. It had that quality of shouting to yourself when no one else was in the house.

"Are you here?" He shouted and flinched at the continued silence.

He drew in a deep breath… He'd have to look around and see if indeed she'd left him there alone.


	16. Conversations

_**Disclaimer: see my profile **_

_**A/n hello all... Here's the next chapter. Thanks again for all your wonderful comments. **_

_**Conversations**_

Hotch parked his car behind Garcia's Esther. The large house in front of him boasted two floors with columns on the front porch. It looked like someone had brought it up from somewhere in the Deep South. Its white exterior blended in with the snow around the yard. The black wooden shutters covered the windows except for one on the first floor.

"You found it sir." Garcia said as she got out of her car.

"I admit to seeing your car and following you into the neighborhood. I'm glad I did. I don't know if I could find my way out of here."

"Yeah… Where did you find this place?" Rossi asked, getting out of the other side of the vehicle.

Morgan and JJ got out of the back and stretched. "I got zero sleep last night. Damn storm keeping us from work." JJ said. "I'm glad it's over. I drove Will nuts pacing around last night."

"There're rooms for all of us and a fully stocked kitchen." Garcia assured them.

"Is this really necessary?" Rossi asked.

"We need a place to work where we're away from Strauss's prying eyes." Morgan said. "Come on, it's cold out here let's go inside."

Garcia pulled a set of keys out of her hot pink, faux fur, coat pocket and dangled them like candy under the nose of a child. "Let's go my doves."

They all followed her inside walking single file over pristine, white, new fallen snow. JJ slipped on the first step and nearly fell on Morgan, who steadied her from behind. "Watch it JJ. I don't want to visit another team member in the hospital."

"That's funny Chief Morgan," She shot back over his shoulder.

He smiled from behind his sunglasses. "Just sayin!"

"Well don't, "She retorted, but he heard her smile.

The inside of the house felt warmer until they removed their coats. "Give me a minute." Garcia said as she went to the first hallway and a digital pad on the wall. She hit some buttons and the heat swooshed on blowing warm air out of a vent above their heads.

"How did you find this place?" JJ asked.

"You should know better than to ask that of your Goddess." Garcia said as she took her lap top out of its bag.

"Garcia!"

"I have a friend who asked me to house sit for her till the end of the month. She's with her husband and kids in Aruba."

"I knew there was a reason I love you baby girl."

"I am your personal Goddess!"

"Can we get to work please," Hotch said.

"Yeah… Stop flirting with a subordinate." JJ teased as Rossi smothered a smile.

"Alright… What do we know so far?" Morgan asked them as they removed boots and coats.

"We know Reid's missing and considered the only suspect by Strauss and the police." JJ said irritably, "As if he'd do anything to hurt Emily." She left them for a moment to drop off their outer gear to a bedroom Garcia directed her to.

"We're all upset JJ," Hotch said gruffly, but something welled up in his eyes. "We know he'd never do something so horrible."

"Emily said Reid called her. She said he was very agitated. He'd come home to find roses in his refrigerator. She also told me his scarf went missing and someone had been in his place at least two times in the last couple of weeks. She said he was terrified that he was imagining all of the incidents. She tried to talk sense into him, but he got really upset."

"So someone was stalking him for awhile." Rossi interpreted.

"Yes… She said he knew who it was because of the flowers. Apparently, this woman sent the flowers to him after the school fired her and she was ordered to stay away from him. She's mentally unstable and has been in an institution ever since."

"I found a lot of information on Dr. Clarissa Thompson," Garcia said and her dark eyes flashed. "She's a genius like Reid. She was born in Sacramento California in 1973. The first three years of her life seemed to be normal, and then she started showing up in hospitals with the classic injuries of abuse. Unfortunately, at that time, no one really paid attention. When she was twelve, her father beat and raped her and she nearly died. The system finally took her out of the home.

After she went to live with a foster family, her life seemed to turn around. She graduated from high school at twelve. Her foster parents took her traveling around Europe with her for a year. They were able to leave everything behind because they'd retired after owning a very successful real estate business." Garcia smirked at the group. "Of course this was before the housing market went to hell.

Then she went off to college, finished graduate school with a doctorate in engineering by eighteen. Her IQ is just a few points below our sweet boy. She became a teacher eighteen and won a position at Cal Tech at age twenty-one. She became the youngest professor there to win tenure. Everything was going her way till one day in 1996 when Reid entered her classroom."

Garcia stopped and went red in the face. "She was arrested for statutory rape six months later. The file was sealed because it involved a minor, but I opened it. She'd become completely obsessed with Reid. She said at her hearing that if she ever got out, she'd come after him."

Everyone sat thinking hard… No one spoke for a very long time as the silence bore down on the house. Then the heat kicked back on the Garcia jumped.

"Didn't know you're jumpy," Morgan kidded.

"Don't test me handsome," She shot back.

"What else do we have?" Hotch asked.

"The bullet the CSI's found in Emily's car came from a nine millimeter." Morgan said. "Detective Brooks thinks it came from Reid's Glock."

"His gun is missing." Rossi observed.

"That could me anything. Maybe this Russian Emily mentioned took it."

"Garcia… See what you can dig up about the bullet."

"I'm already on that… I'll let you know what I find out." She cracked her knuckles and returned to her beloved keyboard.

"What about the anonymous call to 911?" Hotch wondered.

"They tracked it to a disposable cell phone."

Morgan stood and went to the large picture window across from the white and flower patterned couch. "Garcia, do you have a current photograph of Dr. Thompson!"

"Oh yeah… I also know that she bought a plane ticket to Virginia from California three months ago. After that, there's no trace of her. She just dropped off the face of the earth."

"Why buy a ticket in your own name and then hide?" JJ asked.

"She knew we'd be looking for her when she kidnapped Reid. She doesn't care that we know she's here. She's only concerned that they not be found now that she has what she wants." Hotch answered.

"So where are they?"

"I checked everything, her bank accounts, real estate holdings, everything." Garcia said, "There's nothing under her name. I have no idea if she has anything under another name. Without something to start with," She shrugged her shoulders.

"Start with her mother's maiden name." Rossi said. "There might be something there."

"Why her mother's maiden name?" JJ asked.

"When we were just starting the BAU, we had a case of a serial killer who took his victims to a property he'd inherited from his mother. The property always stayed in her maiden name, which is how he stayed undetected for so long. It can't hurt to start there."

"Okay," Garcia said under her breath as she accessed the file she'd put together for Dr. Thompson. "Let's see what you got for me."

----

Dr. Clarissa Thompson maneuvered the truck through the snow of the unplowed private road. Luckily, the snow had only piled up a couple of inches overnight. As it was, it took her an hour to drive to the main road. It would be another half hour to get to the nearest town and get what she needed.

She mulled over Dr Reid. Perhaps she shouldn't have left his door open. If he tried to leave… "Don't be silly. You left him without a coat or even sock and shoes. He's not dumb enough to try and leave without protection."

_He's resourceful… It's what attracted you to him in the first place._

Well, that and his incredible good looks. Even as a teenager he'd been devastating to look at despite the nerdy glasses, he wore.

"Just do what you have to do and get back before it gets dark."

She turned onto the main road resisting the urge to tramp the accelerator. It wouldn't do to be pulled for a traffic stop.

She laughed… They wouldn't fine anything in her name. The profilers might be smart and they might have a chance with Spencer on their side. Now he'd been taken out of the equation. They'd never locate her. She'd been too clever for that.

---

Emily looked at the television over her head and sighed. She drummed her fingers on the bed next to her. They had to let her out of here sometime.

"You need to settle down." A new nurse walked into the room. "I'm Maggie… I'll be your cruise director today." She deadpanned.

"Very funny!" Emily said.

"Usually people laugh when I say that. You're going to ruin my reputation as the funniest nurse in the hospital today."

Emily could only stare at the short black haired woman with dark brown eyes and dark blue scrubs. "Sorry… I hate hospitals. I'm not in the mood for funny."

Maggie nodded. "I can see that. I mean you've been shot and had major surgery. I'd be cranky too. Still, you're fidgeting a lot and that's not doing a lot for your blood pressure."

"Sorry, I just want to get out of here. I'm not in any pain, do you think a doctor would sign me out."

"I don't think so. You need to hang around for a few days. You've had a bad shock to your system. Getting shot and having surgery is a big trauma to the body."

Emily sat back in her bed and stared at the little nurse as she took vitals and marked them down in the chart. "Can I ask you something?" She asked the small woman.

"Sure…"

"Why did you decide to become a nurse?"

Maggie put her pen to her lips. "I wanted to help people."

"Me too… Now I feel like I've done more harm than good."

"Why?"

"One of my best friends is in trouble because of me."

"I'm sure your friend doesn't blame you."

Emily turned her head to the wall. "He's had so much trouble and I couldn't save him from that awful woman. What if she hurts him?"

"You can't do anything from here." Maggie said in a soft tone. "I'll bet he knows that."

"What if he thinks I'm dead? How am I supposed to deal with that? He's the sweetest man I've ever met. He takes too much on his shoulders. I can't hurt him like that." Emily said. She looked over at the little nurse and tried to smile even though it made her face hurt and her eyes sting. "You know, I think he has a little crush on me."

Maggie walked around the bed and smiled at Emily. She picked up the agent's hand and patted it gently. "So what do you think about that?"

"I don't know… I used to think I knew, but now, I'm not so sure."

"Can I give you a little piece of advice?" Maggie asked as she straightened the blankets around her patient.

"Sure, I could use the help."

"Concentrate on getting well first. Then you can find your friend. Then you need to let everything settle down before you make any decisions."

Emily smiled sadly. "I'm always waiting for things to calm down around him. He never stays out of trouble long enough."

The nurse laughed. "Then I don't know what to tell you. Lunch will be up soon. Try to get some rest."

"I wish I could." Emily whispered to the empty room once Maggie left. "I really wish I could."


	17. Clarissa's Secrets

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Clarissa's Secrets**_

Reid ignored his own advice and tried the door. It opened without trouble. His heart leapt into his throat. What game was she playing with him?"

"Clarissa? What did you do with my clothes?"

The sound of his voice made him think that he might be alone. It had that quality of shouting when no one else was in the house.

"Are you here?" He shouted and flinched at the continued silence.

He drew in a deep breath… He would have to look around and see if indeed she had left him there alone.

Reid edged his way out and down the hallway. His feet whispered over the hardwood floors to the living room. "Clarissa… I don't like games." He called out in a trembling voice.

The silence of the room echoed the silence in the rest of the house. The feeling of standing in an empty space increased until chills ran up and down his back. It felt like the first time he had slept alone in his house after sending his mother to Bennington.

"Don't think about that night. You're going to freak yourself out." He said loudly for something to hear.

"Stop acting like a frightened kid and find out if you're alone."

He wished for his gun as he carefully checked the living room and the kitchen. Except for the sunlight falling over the spotless appliances and the clean table, the room was as utterly empty as the living room. He walked back past the door to his left and heard something weird.

He opened the door and saw the utility room and a washer chugging away. So that's what he'd heard. He stepped inside and plucked up a note from the top of the dryer.

"Dear Spencer," He read with a shudder.

"I've gone into town for supplies. I'll be back in about four hours depending on the condition of the roads. Your clothes are in the washer. If you want something to wear other than that towel, it'll take them about twenty-five minutes to dry once they're done. Please don't try anything while I'm gone. You'll only make it worse for yourself. You belong to me Spencer. Get used to it."

He crumpled up the note and threw it to the floor. Who did she think she was, ordering him around? If he'd only had more control over his hormones as a teenager, he wouldn't be in this mess right now.

He stood staring at the washer as it chugged away on his clothes and probably his sheets. His face went hot at that thought. He decided to change his train of thought and try to come up with a plan.

_Okay… You don't have any clothes. _

_True, but that'll be remedied soon._

_You don't have any shoes, Genius!_

_All right, so that's the first problem you have to solve._

He left the small utility room and shut the door. The sound of the washer dimmed behind him to the soft thump-thump that had startled him. He shivered in the towel. Why couldn't she have left him a robe or something? His face flamed. She wanted to see him this way as if last night weren't bad enough. She'd taken off his clothes and done, well she'd done stuff to him he knew.

_I have to get inside her head. _

He passed the door to the room he slept in and followed the hall down to the end and the last door. _What if she was in there waiting for him as a joke?_

He stopped the looked at the door. "Come on you know her. She doesn't play hide and seek."

_He thought he knew her. What if all that time in the institution had changed her even more?_

He straightened his shoulders, mustered all the dignity he could dressed only in a white towel and opened the door. She wasn't inside, but that wasn't what made him stop in his tracks. The room, much larger than the room he'd been sleeping in during his imprisonment. It had the same split log floors and walls. The ceiling and the framing of the window matched his 'accommodations.'

He turned in a very slow circle, his hands and knees trembled and his mouth hung open. The bed, much larger than the one in his room had a hand carved wooden headboard and footboard. The linens and comforter were done in blue, green and purple tones to match the upholstery on the small bench at the foot of the bed and the curtains. A dressing table inhabited the southwest corner of the room with an oval shaped mirror over the table. The entire room matched the bedroom she'd had at school when they met. Everything was the same down to the placement of the furniture.

Worse than that, were the photographs on the small bedside tables. All of them were photographs of him in elaborately carved silver and gold frames. One of them looked like it had been taken of him shortly after they'd met. It had been taken without his knowledge or consent, of that he was sure. He'd seen hundreds of these kinds of photos in his work. It always ended badly. Eventually the stalker always came to the realization that the fantasy never lasted, that they couldn't keep the object of their desire.

He picked up one of the photographs with fingers that shook so hard they nearly dropped the frame. This picture had been taken recently. He was getting into his car outside the doctor's office.

The photo slipped out of his sweaty fingers and fell to the floor with a thud. He hurriedly picked it up and inspected it carefully. It didn't look like it had been damaged. He breathed a sigh of relief and looked around. He saw two doors. One of them led to her bathroom, the other led to a large walk-in closet. One shelf held a box sitting a bit haphazardly on the edge. He plucked it off the shelf and took off the top. Inside he found several files of photographs. She had literally hundreds of pictures and notebooks full of him. The journal dated all the way back to the day they'd met.

He dropped the files back into the box, and left it on the shelf where he'd found it. He backed out of the room and turned for the door. She could have been lying when she said her trip would take hours. She might have been hoping he'd come in here so she could use it against him. He needed to search the cabin. His shoes had to be there somewhere. If he got them back and planned very carefully, he might be able to get away.

He had to try for Emily. Her death would be in vain if he just sat there and let Clarissa kill him or make him wish he were dead. What if she decided to go after more of his friends, or even his mother? Could he live with their suffering on his hands? He shook his head and began his search.

---

Nearly four hours had passed since he'd awoken to find himself alone. He had his clothes back including his socks, but he still couldn't find his shoes. A wooden coo-coo clock on the wall struck twelve as he looked in the kitchen cupboards.

_Yep that's a brilliant place to be looking for your Converse._

_She's a raving lunatic… Anything is possible!_

However true that may be, he'd not get anywhere looking in strange places for his footwear even if the situation required, 'outside the box,' thinking.

A familiar sound broke his thoughts. The growing sound of a truck engine suddenly filled his ears. He ran to the kitchen window and looked out. Clarissa parked the SUV and got out. He ducked behind the yellow chiffon curtains when she looked at the house with an attitude of wondering if someone watched her. Interesting… He slowly raised his head to edge of the window. Clarissa stood in the bright sunlight, half in and half out of the shadow created by the overhang of the house. Her back was to him and she seemed hunched over some invisible chore. Then she straightened and turned to the back of the SUV. He watched her pull a large gas can out of the back and haul it over to the side of the house. She repeated this task five times before returning to the front of the SUV.

_You should be out there helping her instead of standing there. It's the gentlemanly thing to do._

_Hello, no shoes and once again she's a raving lunatic! What if she decided to rap me over the head with a tire iron?_

_Good idea… Why don't you go out there and rap her over the head with a tire iron!_

_No shoes! Why can't you remember that?_

She slammed the door to the kitchen and he jumped away from the window as if he'd been burned.

"Hello Spencer," she said as she put down several packages.

"Hello Clarissa," he said politely.

"You don't have to hide at the window. I knew you'd be watching me."

He stood still watching her take food out of a bag. She began distributing a carton of milk and a carton of apple juice to the refrigerator. "See I remembered you like apple juice." She said.

He nodded, not bothering to tell her he hadn't touched the stuff since the last time she'd made him breakfast in bed. "Thank you," he said.

She added a dozen eggs in their paper carton to the fridge and a loaf of wheat bread. "Here let me help you." He added.

She shook her head, "I'll get the groceries. Why don't you look at what I brought for you?"

"You don't have to buy me gifts Clarissa."

She frowned and her eyes narrowed. "I like giving you gifts Spencer."

"Thank you," he said and picked up the bag.

Inside he found what looked like a hand knitted purple sweater with white snowflakes worked into the pattern. He also found several more pairs of jeans, sweaters, tee shirts and some thick grey socks. A second package of white tube socks sat at the bottom of the bag. "Thank you Clarissa," he repeated.

"Why don't you put them on so I can see what you look like?"

He took the clothes to his room and changed into a pair of the jeans and an extra long dark blue sweatshirt. He stuffed something interesting he'd found in his search into his jeans pocket, hoping the sweatshirt would hide the bulge.

"Clarissa?" He went back to the kitchen to find her making sandwiches.

"You look wonderful," She exclaimed dropping a piece of wheat bread on the counter top.

She hurried over to him, looked him over and hugged him. She tried to kiss him, but he pushed her away.

"Spencer," she said in a very dangerous tone.

"I 'm not ready for all of this. Can't you see that?" He sat at the round wooden table at the north end of the kitchen. "I need to get to know you again."

"I don't believe you." She went back to the counter and picked up a bread knife. "I think you're just trying to catch me off guard again."

"No…" He hurried to her side. "I just want to sit and talk the way we used to. Don't you remember all the long conversations we'd have when I couldn't sleep. I would sneak out to see you. You never sent me away. You would talk all night if I wanted to. I want that again. I want us to be friends."

She stood over him for a long time looking at him. He met her gaze, staring at her until she looked away. "I'm sorry I pushed so hard." She said.

"It's okay… You took me by surprise with all this. You have to give me time to get used to this life. I had good friends and a good job."

"It hurt you. I saw the scar on your knee. What if you'd been killed?"

"I know but, my life is about helping people. How can I turn my back on that?"

"You don't have a choice." She slammed the knife down on the counter. "You belong to me now."

He held out a hand to her. "Please don't get angry Clarissa. I'm just trying to understand."

She sagged against the counter.

"Why don't we have lunch and talk?" He pressed.

She nodded and returned to making sandwiches.

---

"I want to get out of here now!" Emily practically shouted at the nurse.

"You need to calm down Agent Prentiss. Your blood pressure -"

"I don't care about my blood pressure. I need to get out of here and help find my friend."

Her nurse scowled at her. "Alright… I can't keep you here if you don't want to stay. The bullet was a through and through, but it didn't strike any vital organs. You had a lot of tissue and muscle damage, but no bone damage. The doctor said you could go home in a couple of days. Why don't you stay until then and recover your strength. You'll be better able to help your friend if you get more rest." She said hopefully.

"Don't try to guilt trip me!"

"I'm not," Maggie said. "I'm just trying to appeal to your common sense."

"Look, no offense Maggie, but I hate hospitals. I'd feel better in my own bed after I find Reid."

"Your boss can take care of that." Maggie tried.

"Come on Maggie… I'll sign any release you have."

Maggie threw up her hands literally and figuratively. "I'll get the AMA form for you."


	18. You Can't Keep a Profiler Down

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n hey all... Here's the next chapter. I've fallen behind in responding to reviews, but rest assured I'll get to all of them. For now, thanks for your kind words. **_

_**You Can't Keep a Profiler Down **_

"_Who goes there?" _

"Garcia? Is that you?"

"_Who else would it be?"_

"Why aren't you answering your extension at the BAU?"

"_Why are you calling me when you're supposed to be resting in the hospital?"_

Emily stuck her tongue out at the phone. "I blew that joint. I couldn't stand it anymore."

"_What? Are you nuts?"_

"Stop shouting… You're breaking my ear drum!"

"_You're exaggerating!"_

"Are you going to tell me where you are?"

"_No… You tell me where you are and I'll send Morgan out to take you right back to the hospital." _

Emily sighed and stared out the window of the cab. She ignored the cabbie who obviously listened to her side of the conversation.

"Just tell me where you guys are. I need to give the cabbie a real destination. The meter is running!"

"_Alright… You don't have to shout!"_

Emily smiled at the huff at the other end of the phone. "I get that you guys are hiding out from the Wicked Witch of the East, but I want to help too. I need to be there. He's my friend too."

"_Nice guilt trip, my dove. Okay, I'll give you the address but Morgan's not going to be happy." _

Emily took down the address and shut her phone. Finally, she felt like she'd done something proactive instead of just lying in that bed.

"So where to lady," the cabbie asked.

"179 Aspen Grove Lane." She looked out at the traffic rushing by and wondered if Reid was okay.

----

"Who was that on the phone mama?" Morgan came into the kitchen just as Garcia shut the phone.

"Emily's on her way here."

"What?" He roared.

"She signed herself out of the hospital Morgan. What did you expect? She hates hospitals and doctors. If she's here, Strauss can't harass her and we can take care of her."

He successfully resisted the urge to punch the door. Garcia watched him with wary eyes and a frown that told him he'd be in big trouble if he lost it.

"Alright, I suppose there's nothing else I can do but welcome the wounded chickadee home to roost."

"Don't let her hear you make that kind of comparison."

"What comparison?" JJ walked into the kitchen where Garcia had set up her temporary lair.

"Emily decided to leave the hospital against the orders of her doctor." Morgan said.

"Oh… Well, you guys are the profilers. Shouldn't you have seen that one coming?"

Morgan pursed his lips and rubbed his hand over his baldhead. "Yeah… I should've realized she'd try to do that. Still, I'm going to have a talk with the agents assigned to her. They were supposed to call me if anything happened."

"Do you really think Emily didn't think of that?" JJ asked the unit chief.

Morgan laughed, throwing his head back as if he'd just heard the best joke of his life. "No… I guess I didn't think about that."

"What's so funny?" Rossi asked as he and Hotch entered the room.

"Emily jumped ship and she's on her way here despite the guard we put on her room." Morgan said.

"I'm surprised it took her this long." Hotch observed dryly, but with a little twinkle in his eyes.

"Come on guys… Let's find something to help Reid." Garcia whined squirming in her chair. "I can't bear to have my sweet baby boy in the clutches of some evil pedophile."

"Yeah Hotch," Rossi looked confused. "Why has she fixated on Reid now that he's an adult?"

Hotch went to one of the chairs around the table and sat down. "Well… What do we know about her?"

"We know she was abused physically and sexually by her father. Her mother probably abused her too."

"I found out her mother spent time in a mental institution. She's bi-polar." Garcia said from her station. "I couldn't find any sign of a mental dysfunction in the rest of her family history. Her father was a garden variety abuser who suffered the same thing at the hands of his mother."

"She doesn't trust authority figures. She put on a very good front with her foster parents. I think her intelligence helped her hide the mental illness that had already begun to consume her when she met Reid."

"That doesn't explain why she spent twelve years in an institution and now she's out to get our boy." Garcia mused.

"I think when she met Reid she saw what her life could have been like had she not been abused by both of her parents. She did her homework on him. She knew who he was before he walked into her lecture hall. She saw him as her other half, someone that could understand her because of his intelligence and the facts of his mother's mental illness. She wanted to mother him. She still does." Morgan explained. "She'll never give up wanting to be his mother and his lover."

"Ew…" Garcia pulled a face that made JJ smile. "Isn't the incest angle a little creepy?"

"It's not incest." Rossi said. "She wants to fill that need she knew he had for someone to nurture him. It was his first time living away from home on a full time basis. As for the sex, it was a way to control him. She couldn't control what her father did to her, so she tried to control a young adolescent male. Most likely, she was his first sexual experience. She saw a weakness and exploited it."

"She really thinks they're soul mates." Morgan continued. "She sees him as an ideal. He fits her romantic ideas of what a man should be with a woman. He's her fantasy."

"So that begs the question," JJ interjected. "What's going to happen to him if he doesn't play along with her fantasy?"

"She'll kill him." Morgan said.

---

Emily knocked on the door of the two-story house. Her legs and her arms ached all the way down to the muscle. Her chest throbbed in time with her heart and her eyes burned with exhaustion. She leaned against the doorframe and nearly fell inside when Garcia opened the door.

"Emily?" Garcia grasped her arm as she stumbled inside. "What's wrong with you?"

"Garcia's right…" Morgan said from the entryway. "Have you lost your mind?"

"I'm not arguing with you." She said breathlessly. "I'm within my rights to sign out Against Medical Advice and that's what I did. I have all the instructions I need from the doctors and I have my prescriptions. I want to help find Reid."

Morgan narrowed his eyes. "You're going to lie down."

"Morgan!"

"No arguments… You're white as a sheet and ready to faint." Morgan said.

"I'm not ready to faint," She gasped as Garcia steadied her on her feet.

Everything looked like it wanted to start going around and around for some reason. Her chest really ached and her eyes just wouldn't stay open.

"Take her to the bedroom down the hall to your right. It's the master bedroom with a huge California king. I'll stay with her tonight." Garcia said.

"I'm not a child!"

"Then stop acting like one." Rossi interjected from the living room. "Go lie down!'

"Thanks for ganging up on me," She said through gritted teeth.

"Come on… I'll fill you in if you lay down." Morgan bargained.

She let him lead her into the room, only because she couldn't walk without help anymore. He pushed her down on the bed and pulled off her shoes. "Lie down and be quiet!" He ordered her. "What were you thinking?"

"Morgan… I couldn't stay there. I had to help."

"You can help from your hospital bed. Do you think Reid wants to come back and find you dead or deathly ill because you couldn't stay and get well."

Emily looked at the light blue painted ceiling over her head instead of at Morgan. She knew he'd be scowling at her. He was right. It didn't matter though, because Reid needed her help.

"What's going on with you and Reid?" He asked unexpectedly.

She turned to stare at him. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Because we found something at Reid's to indicate he has feelings for you." He reached out and squeezed her hand. "Tell me the truth Emily. I won't use it against you."

"I don't know what you're talking about. He's never said anything to me. We're good friends and that's all."

"Did you know he has a framed photograph of you on his bedside table?"

"No… I've never been in his bedroom Morgan. How would I know that?" Her heartbeat began to race.

"Look, I went to his place after you went into surgery. The cops were there tossing the place. Detective Briggs pointed out the photo to me. He seemed to think it very funny. I didn't think it amusing at all."

She met his dark eyes. The usual spark of mischief had retreated for the moment. He looked like her boss. He looked unhappy and it tore at her heart.

"I didn't know Morgan and I don't understand what this has to do with the case."

"Now I know you need to sleep. Think Emily… Dr. Clarissa Thompson shot you because you enraged her. She's obsessed with Reid. You were an obstacle to that."

"Why? What is she to him?"

"She was a professor at Cal-Tech. She met Reid when he was sixteen and she was twenty-four. She seduced him. They had a very intense affair for about six months. Finally, the people who rented an apartment to him in their basement got suspicious and had a private detective follow him. They confronted her and threatened her job. When she had to let him go, she snapped."

"She sent him flowers… He was terrified when he found them the other day. It's why he called me. He told me about her, but not that she tried to kill the people he lived with. He was so frightened. We were on our way to see you Morgan. You have to believe me." Emily explained through gritted teeth.

"I do believe you. Now, I want you to get some sleep."

"Morgan!"

"I'll wake you when we have the next step."

"Okay… Thanks Morgan," She squeezed his hand.

She watched him walked out the door. The room suddenly felt enclosing as though someone had buried her alive. She tried to sit up, but her body wouldn't let her. Her legs and arms felt leaden. Her chest hurt every time she drew a breath.

"Stay awake… Reid needs you."

Her eyes closed and sleep claimed her against her will. The weight of all the cares and stress of the last two days kept her under the black veil of sleep. Even if she could fight the darkness, it wouldn't work. The sandman had other plans for her.


	19. Turning the Tables

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

_**A/n here's the next chapter. Please enjoy. **_

_**Turning the Tables **_

The sun painted long lines of golden light along the floor of the kitchen as Clarissa and Reid sat quietly at the kitchen table. He'd finished the lunch she'd made for them. Several minutes had passed, but this time she hadn't drugged the food, as he remained upright and awake.

He watched the sunlight in its slow arc over the kitchen as the afternoon passed. At least the food she made tasted great. She cooked wonderfully as she did everything well. He used to love that about her. How talented and smart she was till consumed by mental illness. He drew in a breath and made his move.

"Clarissa?"

She looked up from clearing plates of the round kitchen table. "Yes Spencer!"

"My knees are really hurting. Do you think I could have some Tylenol, if you have any that is?" This wasn't an entire fabrication. Limping all over, the cabin looking for something to use against her had taxed his knees to the limit.

"Of course baby… I don't want you to suffer even if you were stupid enough to try and run away."

She smiled as a faint pink blush stained his pale cheeks. "I'm sorry I tried to get away. I wasn't ready to give up the life I had. It's the only life I've known. It's going to take some getting used to. Can you be patient with me?"

"Yes baby… I love you. That's why I came for you."

"Um… my knees really hurt. Can you get the medicine now?"

"Oh…" She put down the plates she carried. "I'm sorry… You stay right there and I'll get some from my bathroom."

"I can get it if you tell me where it is."

"No!" He flinched as she shouted. "I'm sorry Lover. I didn't mean to shout. I just want you to stay there. Rest your knees. I'll be right back."

She hurried out of the room. Reid got swiftly to his feet, ignoring the pain that flared in both knees. He went to the coffee pot and poured some into her cup. He fumbled out one of the socks he'd shoved in his pockets. Thank God, for the extra long sweatshirt Clarissa bought for him. It had camouflaged his hidden stash. He rolled open the sock and removed a small glass bottle. His fingers, slick with sweat slipped on the bottle and he nearly dropped it.

"Damn it!"

He put it on the table and took out the syringe. The skill and speed with which he readied the syringe filled him with shame, and with pride, at the same time. How he wished he'd never have to use that skill again.

"I'll be out in a minute baby." She yelled out to him and he flinched, knocking the bottle to the floor. It clunked on the wood, but didn't break.

"Okay…" He squeaked back hoping she'd decided to take a bathroom break.

"Please let this work." He held the syringe over the coffee as the he heard the toilet flush and water run in the sink.

When Clarissa hurried back into the kitchen, Reid was pouring more coffee into his cup "I thought your knees hurt." She asked.

"They do… I just wanted more coffee and I thought you'd like a second cup." He said lightly hoping his face didn't look as red as it felt.

"Oh you and your coffee addiction… What am I going to do with you?" She reached over and ruffled his hair.

He clamped down and didn't pull away from her. "I know… I'm hopeless. I guess it's a hazard of my job."

"You're old job!" Clarissa corrected him tersely.

She put the bottle of Tylenol on the table and he picked it up. "Yes… my old job."

"Take your medicine Spencer. It's non narcotic."

"You know about that."

"Yes…" She picked up her coffee and began to sip it black. "I know about it all. It's why you should be with me instead of in danger all the time."

He smiled at her as he reached over to touch her hand. She grabbed his fingers and held them tight. "You're right Clarissa. I am so caught up in trying to help people that I can't see when they want to hurt me. You can show me how to stay safe. Just like you showed me in school how to leave behind the bad things other kids did to me in high school."

She smiled at him and took a few more sips of her coffee. "I did help you. That's all I've ever wanted to do is help you Spencer."

"You did a good job. You helped me forget all the pain from my mother's illness. You gave me hope."

She smiled as though he'd finally understood something she'd been trying to tell him for years. "Yes…" She sipped more of her coffee.

He watched her eyes as she took another long drink of the coffee. The cup fell from her fingers and crashed onto the tabletop. "Spencer…"

"Are you okay Clarissa?" He asked as the coffee spread slowly over the top of the table and began to drip on the floor.

"What did…? I don't feel…" She tried to get up out of the chair but knocked it over instead. It crashed to the floor behind her as she swayed on her feet.

"Did you really think I'd just leave all my friends and family behind for you?" he said. The empathy in his voice left as she tried to walk to him with her hands outstretched.

"I don't know how much of that it takes to knock you out, but judging by your height and weight I assume just a little is effective. I hope it's the sedative you used on me last night. If it's poison, then I guess too bad for you."

"Spencer…" She fell down to her knees in front of him as he stood up and grabbed his cane from where it leaned against the table.

"Don't call me that!" He spat at her. "Don't say it like we're intimate. That stopped years ago. It was a mistake. I was underage and vulnerable. You took advantage of me. It was wrong and you knew _it_." He leaned down to spit the words in her face. "I don't care what happens to you. You killed the woman I love. Why should you live when she's _dead_?"

Finally, Clarissa fell face down on the floor. Reid crouched, ignoring the pain in his knee and felt her neck. A disappointment that made him feel guilty slammed through his gut. She wasn't dead, just unconscious. Relief that he hadn't killed her made his stomach turn as did disappointment that she breathed when Emily didn't.

"This is your lucky day Clarissa." He pulled her out of the kitchen walking backwards down the hall to her bedroom. "You get to live."

---

Emily opened her eyes. The light had shifted a bit in the room. She turned her head and cried out at the pain in her head.

"You okay?" Garcia said from her place sitting next to Emily on the bed.

Her fingers flew over the keyboard of the laptop on her legs as she looked over at Emily through ruby red framed glasses. Emily smiled around the migraine that had formed even though she'd slept for a couple of hours. The flamboyance of her friend's appearance comforted her.

"I have a migraine. I'm tired, cranky, and I can't stop thinking that if I'd gone to Morgan when I first thought someone was watching Reid, he'd be here right now."

"It's not your fault my dove."

"Yes it is! I ignored my better instincts. How could I do that Garcia? He's been through so much and now I contribute to another trauma in a long list of traumas."

"Emily…"

"It's true!" She struggled to sit up on the pillows piled behind her head. "I should have gone to Morgan. I shouldn't have left his apartment without calling in the team. It's my fault!"

"Look, you guys always say that these stalkers find ways to get their clutches on their victims. I think she would have found a way even if you told Morgan. The goal is to find him now."

"What if she's hurting him? What if he's under some kind of terrible torture?"

"Emily I don't know what to say to make you feel better. If you want to wallow, then I guess you'll have to wallow, but couldn't you do it a little less loudly."

"Garcia!" She coughed and her chest hurt so much that tears came to her eyes.

"That's it… You're going to take some of these pain killers."

"I don't want to. They'll knock me out."

"Maybe that's a good thing. Have you thought about that?"

"I can't sleep. What if you find out where he is?"

"Emily you're in pain, take the meds."

Emily swallowed the white pill with a grimace. "Why do they have to make them so big? I hate swallowing horse pills."

Garcia reached over and patted Emily's shoulder. "Stop complaining and lie down.

She helped Emily lay flat. She pulled the blankets up around her shoulders and resumed her place on the bed with the laptop.

"Garcia?"

"What is it my dove?"

"Do you think he's okay?"

"Yes…"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know him," Garcia said as her fingers continued their dance over her keyboard. "He won't let some tiny little wacko ex teacher get the best of him. You know him better than they know that Emily. If he can handle the likes of Tobias Henkel he can deal with her."

"Yeah… I supposed you're right."

"I am right my dove. Go to sleep."

"I don't want to Garcia. I want to stay awake and help you."

"How much help do you think you'd be falling over on you face. You can't even stand up straight. Reid wouldn't want you to get sick."

Emily stayed silent for so long Garcia thought she'd gone to sleep. Then she said, "Garcia, Did Morgan tell you about my picture in Reid's bedroom."

"No…"

"He told me the police found it when they searched his apartment. They all thought it was funny. They wanted to know if something was going on with us."

"Is there?"

Emily stared at the wall so her friend didn't see the tears rolling down her cheeks. Everything, all her emotions, and the pain in her body had begun to gang up on her.

"I don't know…" She wheezed out through sniffing back tears. "He's a great guy. I don't know what to think about it all. He never said anything. I guess that means he thinks I'd say no."

"Would you?"

"I hate it when you get all serious Garcia. I need you to make me laugh."

Her friend shifted and lay next to her. She put an arm around her friend's waist and squeezed it. "I don't think you have to decide now. In fact… I think it's better if you don't decide right this minute. You've just had surgery and you're feeling really vulnerable."

"You know what's its like."

"Yes…"

"I'm sorry if I reminded you." Emily sniffed.

"It's okay." Garcia left her side and the bed. She went to the dresser, pulled a tissue out of the decorative holder, and brought it back to Emily.

"Thanks…"

"No problem… Just remember that whatever you do, don't hurt my boy or you'll answer to me."

Emily laughed and then coughed. "I'll try!"

"Go to sleep." Garcia ordered as she returned to her place on the bed.

Emily didn't answer. Garcia waited ten minutes before she attempted to move from her perch. Emily's slow breathing finally convinced her that the profiler had gone to sleep.

"Rest up angel fish, he'll be back before you know."

Her computer beeped as if on schedule and she smiled. "Don't worry my sweet baby cakes, the cavalry's on the way."


	20. Run Spencer, Run

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

_**A/n well people the alerts aren't working again! I'll catch up on replies when they're fixed. **_

_**Run Spencer, Run**_

Reid pulled Clarissa's limp body into the room she had kept him in for the last two days. He stopped just inside the door, his breath hitching in and out of his lungs like the engine of his old car. He stood with his hands on his knees while sweat rolled off his forehead into his eyes. He blinked away the salty sting and tried to ignore the pain pulsing in both of his knees.

He waited another minute, gathering his strength and trying not to panic. The daylight hours didn't linger as the winter solstice moved closer. He'd be lucky to get to the main highway before the sun began to set. He lifted her shoulders off the floor, grunting as he pulled her closer to the bed.

"You should've let me train you kid. You could've built some serious strength by now." Morgan's voice said in his mind.

His backside hit the edge of the bed and he lost his grip on her shoulders. Her head hit the wooden floor with a crack and he winced. "I'm sorry!" He said automatically.

_Why are you sorry? She kidnapped you and she killed Emily! _

For once, he listened to that voice in his head and wholeheartedly agreed with it. A sudden burst of anger and hatred such as he'd never known, not even when Tobias Henkel killed the Hayes in front of him, washed over him. His entire body shook as his heart rate accelerated.

_Why am I trying to make her comfortable on the bed?_

Again, the voice made sense. What the hell was he doing? He left her where she lay and went to the bathroom. He gathered the items he'd found and secreted away in his search of the house. She shouldn't have left him alone. That was her fatal mistake. It was time for him to be gone.

He secured her hands over her head to the thick wooden bedpost with layer after layer of grey duct tape. He taped her legs together and pulled off her shoes, just in case.

He headed back to her room and gathered up all her shoes and socks. He piled them into a black garbage bag along with her coat and gloves. Her cell phone went into his pocket. He added her laptop to the bag. He took a second bag and added the extra clothes she'd bought for him besides the outfit he wore. He opened a bag of extra socks she'd bought. The bag said there were six pairs inside. He pulled one pair white socks over the grey socks. He kept adding them until he couldn't make them fit and his feet looked like he had some kind of terrible swelling disease. They weren't as good as shoes, but maybe the inner layers would protect his feet.

He couldn't do anything for a coat except to put another sweatshirt on over his head. He didn't have gloves, but hopefully he wouldn't need them. He looked around the kitchen, trying to think of anything he'd missed. If all went well, he'd be back here soon with the team arresting her and she'd never hurt him again.

"I'll enjoy seeing you go away for the rest of your life." He said into the quiet.

---

"Derek… You have to see this now." Garcia hurried into the living room with her laptop.

"What have you got baby girl." He put down the cup of coffee he'd just poured at the sight of her face.

"Okay… I found out that Clarissa inherited all the money her foster parents had when they died in a house fire four years ago. It's been held in trust for her ever since. They never believed that she did anything wrong with Reid. They testified at her hearing. I read the transcript and they claimed that her abuse had made her the least likely person to … Well to have an inappropriate relationship with Reid." Her cheeks flushed red at the thought. "They claimed that Reid made up the sexual aspect of the relationship. They said he exaggerated it. They said he must have been the one to approach her. You know the classic, "He's a kid so it's his fault because he's a genius and lonely with no friends and a crazy mother."

Morgan rubbed a hand over his head, keeping in the urge to smash his fist through the beautifully carved glass coffee table in front of him.

"I take it the courts didn't believe them." Hotch said as he sat up ramrod straight in his chair.

"No… It didn't sway the judge at all. He sent Dr. Thompson to the state hospital. She stayed there until her doctors saw fit to release her six months ago. No prison time, no parole which is why no one reported anything when she just took off for Virginia."

"You were pretty excited when you came in here Garcia." Rossi interrupted. "What else do you know?"

"Thanks to Emily, I found her alias and everything fell into place. She purchased a cabin in Pennsylvania under the name Rose Black."

"You are my Goddess!" Morgan exclaimed. "Let's get out there."

"What about Emily?" JJ said.

"Emily is staying right here." Hotch said firmly. "Garcia, you stay with her. We'll let you know when we have Reid back."

"Yes sir!"

---

Reid limped as fast as he could to Clarissa's room. His cane stood in the corner of the room. He snatched it up and limped back out of the room. The extra support of the cane helped a bit, as did the medicine that finally kicked in. He stopped to do a few stretches the PT had shown him then he picked up the bags and left the cabin.

Bitter cold wind struck his thin frame and he gasped aloud. He began to cough as the wind pushed harder against his face, blowing snow as fine as sand into his face. He turned his head to the side and walked as fast as he could toward the truck. The wind pushed around him as though it wanted to knock him down. His sunglasses protected his eyes, but the rest of his face took the full force of the wind. His scarf… He'd forgotten it in his haste. Along with his shoes, the scarf hadn't been found She obviously had an unusual place to hide both, but he didn't have time to locate either one.

_Don't worry about that now. Get your butt out of here!_

The voice had all kinds of good ideas that day. He dropped the bags onto the snow and leaned over the wheel well of the rear driver side tire. He felt with frigid hands around the inside and nearly fainted with relief when his hand closed over the hide-a-key stuck to the inside of the well. He gathered up the bags and hurried around the other side of the vehicle.

The wind dropped off now that the SUV blocked it from buffeting his body. He could breathe without the sting of snow in his mouth and nose. He tried the key in the lock and almost cried with relief as the door opened. He tossed the bags into the back and shut the door. He limped around to the other side and climbed in.

When the engine rolled over and caught without trouble, he shouted, "Yes!" into the confined space. The engine purred like a large, well-satisfied cat. His frozen, red fingers fought with the heater as his other hand engaged all the locks.

He looked at the dashboard clock. It was already after two pm. Clarissa said the main road lay twenty miles away. He hoped she'd lied to him. He hoped the weather would hold. At least she'd been able to get into town and back, so that had to mean the roads were okay.

He looked down at his soaked and muddied socks. Should he take off the layers until he found the dry pair? He lifted his legs and removed about three pair until he found a layer of dry socks. He lined them up on the passenger side seat and focused a heat vent on that side to blow on them.

"Okay… Time to blow this joint."

He looked over at the house. "Goodbye my love… Parting is such sweet sorrow." He said in the most sarcastic tone he could muster.

He put the truck into gear after clearing the trip meter on the dash. The truck started forward without problem, but he couldn't make his hands relax on the wheel. Who knew how long he'd have to drive before he got cell service or found a phone?

The hum of the truck increased a bit as it got a taste of the wind blowing in, but it didn't falter. How he wished for Morgan to be behind the wheel. He wouldn't complain again about Morgan's driving skills. He'd happily accept being tossed around with a map in his hands if it were Morgan doing the driving.

The sun's path followed him as he headed west along the tracks of the truck made earlier in the day on its journey into the town. She hadn't told him the name of the place he'd be going. He didn't know which direction to take when he found the main road. He should have asked where they hid. If he knew if they remained in Virginia, he could find his way back to Quantico.

_What if you're not in Virginia anymore?_

His hands shook a little. He decided to pass the time by running over all the atlas maps he'd memorized. He knew the entire eastern seaboard by heart.

_Think! You have to be within six to eight hours journey from your apartment in Arlington. _

Suddenly the tires slipped at bit on the road. The truck began to turn as he panicked and slammed on the breaks. The truck fishtailed and his heart slammed in his chest.

_Turn with the slide!_

He turned against it and the truck slid to a stop sideways on the track. He sat there trying to get his breath back as his heart reluctantly began to slow. The engine purred as he put his head down on the steering wheel. The horn blatted in protest, and he jumped. Only five miles into the trip and he'd already panicked.

"Get a grip Dr. Reid. What would Morgan say?"

He put the truck in reverse and let off the brake. The truck barely moved as his foot came down on the accelerator as though he stepped on a fresh egg. The front of the truck moved backwards a bit. He hit the brakes and turned the wheel. He dropped the truck into drive and moved forward. He repeated this process as the sun moved lower in the sky and the wind blew more snow at the wind. Eventually the truck faced west again. Sweat dropped off his face and onto the steering wheel as he tried to get his breath back.

"There…" He squeaked, "A perfect ten point turn. God I wish Morgan was here."

He put the truck back into low gear and stepped gingerly on the accelerator. He had been moving at about twenty miles per hour. Now he kept it to ten as the truck crept forward crunching through the snow as if it were tissue paper. His hand and his bad knee trembled. How much further until he got to the road? He looked at the dash and realized the truck had GPS. His panicked brain hadn't noticed that. He engaged it and found the route last taken. Apparently, he'd been taken into southern Pennsylvania and the closet town was some place called New Hope. The road leading to the town would be in sight in less than three miles. She'd lied to him about the distance!

The urge to tramp on the gas pedal overwhelmed his sense of care. He pushed up the speed keeping his fingers crossed that truck wouldn't slip again. Despite the increase in speed, the truck kept its traction all the way to the paved road.

His heart began to race again as he came to the road. The sun hung lower in the sky and he had to squint as he looked both ways before turning south onto State Route 93. His hands finally unlocked from the wheel as he left the snow packed road behind him. He increased his speed to forty-five miles an hour. His breathing returned to normal in the blessedly warm cab of the truck. Fir trees hugged the road and flashed by as he drove. The town was twenty miles to the south.

An hour had passed since he had drugged his captor. Was Clarissa still unconscious, or did she wonder how he'd got the best of her? He hoped she would wake, wonder, and rage at him. In another half hour, he'd be in a town with people and he'd be talking to the team again.

Then, the truck rounded a curve in the road and everything changed in one, panic struck moment.

_**A/n the town of New Hope is real but I've changed its location in Pennsylvania and the size of the town.**_


	21. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n thank you all for your wonderful reviews and support. **_

_**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**_

The Explorer rounded the curve in the road. Standing in the middle of the blacktop, patchy with snow and ice, were two deer with impressive racks of antlers on their heads. They just stood there, staring at the oncoming truck with large, chestnut colored, eyes.

These facts registered in his brain in an instant. As did the fact that if he didn't do something, he'd hit at least one of them. He jammed down on the breaks and twisted the wheel at the same time one of the deer bounded away into the pristine snow to the left of the road.

This time the truck began to spin like a top on a table. He tried to pump the brakes, and turn the wheel in the opposite direction, but nothing seemed to help. His heart thumped at a down instead of pounding and time seemed to slow down as the truck spun around and forward at the same time.

Time and motion caught up to him as the truck smashed through the barrier of snow to the east of the road. The truck tipped and slammed back down to the ground snapping his body forward into his seatbelt. The air bag deployed and everything went dark.

----

Something drilled into his head, loudly pushing everything out. He opened one eye and saw the door panel to his left and part of the window. He tried to open the other eye, but his face seemed to be stuck into some kind of strange fabric. His face hurt, as if someone had slapped him. Oh God… Clarissa must have found him. He jerked upright and groaned aloud as the pain radiated though his head and neck.

_What happened?_

The sudden silence around him helped at bit with the pain in his head, but only just a little. He looked up and saw the window again. He tried to remember how he'd gotten into this predicament. Oh yeah… He'd tried to avoid a couple of deer in the road.

"Good job, Supervisory Special Agent! Morgan will laugh his ass off when he hears about this."

_If_ he heard about it! Reid turned his head to the right -,screaming in pain as he did - to look out the other window. The sun hung a bit lower in the sky. He hadn't been out long, but night was falling. What did he think he could do after it got dark?"

He sat up as slowly as he could. His whole body felt like someone had thrown him into a wall. His back, neck and knees throbbed between low grade ache, to sharp pain. It was like someone had crawled into his skin with hot needles.

He struggled out of the seat belt and looked around. Everything he'd put on the seat including his cane lay on the floor. He tried to reach down for the cane, but it hurt too much to move. What could he do? Try to get out of the car and get back up to the road. Surely, it wasn't so deserted that someone wouldn't see him.

He looked at the clock on the dash. He'd only been out for just a few minutes. It felt like hours had passed by in the blackness. At least the truck stayed warm as sun filtered in from the blue sky. He looked away because he'd lost his sunglasses and the light burned in his eyes.

_What about your phone?_

He dug into the pocket, against protesting muscles in his shoulders and neck. The phone slipped out of his fingers like a wet bar of soap. He chased it around the pocket for what seemed like a year. Finally, he caught it and pulled it out of the pocket. It looked like it was fully charged, but in a second look, he couldn't get a signal. How could that be possible? He was only twenty miles from the nearest town and this was the twenty first century. Now it felt like he'd been left alone in his own private white hell. He'd come so close to freeing himself for another hell of earth. What would he so when the sun went down? He reached forward slowly for the keys to the ignition. The truck started smoothly and he cheered. If he could get it back on the road...

Then… a loud bang on the window startled him. Pain flared and tears collected in his eyes as his head turned involuntarily to the source of the noise.

---

The jet set down smoothly on the small airport runway. It taxied slowly through the late afternoon air and the bright sunlight to the far end of the tarmac. The sun burned it hung lower in the sky, turning clouds golden-white. The flight had taken less then forty minutes. Morgan was sure Strauss would crow loudly at the use of the resource when they could have driven, but he didn't care. It was more important to find Reid fast then try to save money on jet fuel.

The jet turned to face the black SUV and one lone man, who leaned up against the door to the driver's side of the truck. He wore dark sunglasses and a tan coat over dark slacks. His expressionless face greeted them as they deplaned minutes later in a short, single file line.

"It's good to see you JJ." The man said stepping forward to meet her.

"Thanks for coming George." She gestured to the team. "This is SSA Derek Morgan, SSA Aaron Hotchner, and SSA David Rossi."

"It's nice to meet you. Let's get in out of the cold and I'll fill you in on what I know so far."

They piled into the SUV and the stranger started the engine. "I'm George Finley. JJ and I went to college together. I was born in Pennsylvania. That's how JJ and I got together."

"Together," Morgan asked his raising his eyebrows.

"Shut up Morgan. It's been over for a long time."

"JJ's great, but she wanted the FBI and I chose to become a cop."

"I don't understand," Rossi asked. "You're not a police officer now. Why are you here?"

Finley smiled. "I see what you meant about your friends JJ."

"It's annoying how much they pick up on sometimes." JJ said and laughed at the combined looks of chagrin on their faces. "George quit the force because of the politics. He wanted to help and answer only to his clients. He became a private detective a few years ago. I called him because he knows the area we're going to very well. He grew up there."

George put the SUV in gear and drove to the exit at the end of the private runway. "My family still lives in New Hope. We have an hour and a half drive ahead of us to get to where your friend could be hidden."

"It's the only lead we have." JJ responded to his unspoken question. "The police and the FBI have to be kept out of this for as long as we can."

"You said they think Agent Reid shot Agent Prentiss. I think we can convince them that's not the case."

"What did you find out?"

"I took a look at the ballistics report your analyst sent me. I still have many friends on the force. I had them run a comparison for me and we found the Russian. The bullet matched to another homicide in Philadelphia. The PPD thinks it was a contract hit and your Russian is a known hit man. He'll do anything for the right price"

There was a general uproar until Morgan said, "Where is he?"

George glanced over at the Unit Chief. "I don't know… The word is out with INTERPOL and the FBI as well as every other law enforcement agency in the world. JJ, there's a file between the floor and my seat."

JJ picked it up and opened it. "His name is Ivan Gregorevich. Date of birth, January 23 1975. He was born in Kolomna. His father worked for the railroad and his mother cleaned homes for a living. His father was an alcoholic and abusive to Ivan and his brothers.

"His criminal record is extensive, pick a crime and he's done it. He's a nasty piece of work and I'm surprised your kidnapper's allied herself with him." George added.

"She's mentally unstable." JJ told him. "She had the money to pay him very well for his help."

"Ivan doesn't like to stick around once he's made his contact. He has a knack for disappearing and for not leaving evidence behind." JJ said as she read more of the file.

"He made a mistake this time." Hotch said.

"Yeah… He didn't kill his victim and he left behind the bullet." Morgan observed.

"Don't worry… I'll help you find him."

The truck stayed quiet for a long time while the agents thought about what Finley told them. The sun led them as they sped west. The sky began to go from bright blue to rose, violet and gold as the miles passed by them. The tension increased degree by degree, the closer they got to their destination.

Small towns and villages stood still as they drove through them and out the other side. Snow and fir trees lined the road, and the sun used the trees to throw shadows at them as they traveled.

"The area we're traveling to is pretty secluded." George said a little apprehension in his light blue eyes. "I used to go cross country skiing out there with my brother when the Flores's lived out there. They built the cabin as a winter vacation home about twenty years ago. It's the only property on the road. They liked their privacy so they built it twelve miles off the main highway. There's not a lot of traffic on the main drag. You're lucky if you get one or two cars along there every hour this time of year. Although it picks up in the summer time."

"So you're saying she'll hear or see us coming." Hotch said.

"Yes… I know she will. There's nothing we can do about it though."

---

Emily opened her eyes to more pain in her chest. Her headache had backed off to a low dull roar though. The ceiling above her head looked strange. What had happened to the white tiles of the hospital room?

She tried to sit up, but felt as weak as a newly born kitten. She licked very dry lips and they stung as if someone had put salt on her tongue. "Garcia?"

"Well look who's awake. How are you feeling my dove?"

"I feel like I got shot in the chest."

"Good, sarcasm is very good Agent Prentiss," Garcia retorted as she came over to the bed.

"I'd like some water."

"I think that can be arranged."

Garcia left the room and Emily stared at the ceiling. Why was the house so quiet? She remembered where she was and why she was there, but it was too quiet.

"Here you go my beauty. Drink up!"

Emily drank the cold water from the glass Garcia gave her. It felt very good on her lips and her throat. "Where is everyone?" She demanded of the tech standing over her.

"They went to Pennsylvania. We got a lead on Reid."

"You didn't wake me up!" Emily nearly yelled as she tried to get out of bed. Garcia pushed her back very easily.

"No… You can't travel and you know it."

Emily dropped back down on her pillow. "I don't want to be here just waiting around again. Why does he do this?" She suddenly demanded of Garcia. "Why do we always have to wait for him to get out of the hospital or be rescued from some psycho?"

"Because that's who he is." Garcia sat on the edge of the bed. "Would you want him to change?"

"No… I just can't believe this is happening again."

Garcia carefully hugged her friend. "Come on… Let's get you sitting up and we'll have something to eat."

"I can't eat anything but soft foods." Emily complained.

"Then well both have some cottage cheese, followed by a wonderful chocolate pudding."

Emily made a face while Garcia laughed. "At least you only have to eat this way for a couple of days."

Garcia left the bedroom a second time and Emily let the smile she'd tried to give her friend slip away. She should be out there helping Reid, not sitting around. She pushed up again and put her feet over the side of the bed. Perhaps she could find another way to help Reid. If she couldn't go to Reid, at least she could make a call to her mother and try to get the FBI off his back. It wasn't his fault that any of this had happened. If only she could see his beautiful eyes again. Then maybe her heart wouldn't hurt so much.

Her head began to swirl around her. Her legs turned to jelly as she tried to take a step forward to the door of the bedroom. Everything got grey in her eyes and her stomach churned. She stumbled back and hit the edge of the bed and sat down hard. Her heart thumped hard and sent the blood racing into her arms and legs. Sweat popped out on her forehead as she tired to stand again.

The grey around her eyes turned black in spots that grew and grew as she tried to get her breath. Everything went black and she crashed to the floor.


	22. Welcome to New Hope

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

**_A/n thanks to all of you for your wonderful support and kind words. And to my wonderful beta and friend REIDFANATIC for putting up with me. _**

_**Welcome to New Hope**_

Wheels hummed when Reid opened his eyes. His eyes saw the door first. It looked like the back seat of a regular car. A car that he didn't recognize or remember. The seats were grey-white, but very clean. The doors' colors matched the seats, as did the carpet. How had he got in the back of this car?

Pain screamed and clawed into his head, down his neck and across his back. His head lolled to the left as the car bumped over something in the road. Pain throbbed in the back of his head even though the seat back was comfortable.

He tried to lift his head, but the pain made it impossible. He tried to lift his arms, but they were restrained behind his back. His heart began to pound so hard the pain felt like he'd been working with a jackhammer on a road crew all day.

_Why were his arms behind his back as though he'd been arrested?_

Something clicked over in his head and his memory, as unreliable as it had been, came back with a force that made his stomach roll over.

_Someone had knocked on his window after the accident. He'd tried to talk, but the man standing on the other side of the door hadn't let him speak. He was average height with a brown hat and short grey hair. He had a badge on his chocolate brown coat. He opened the door and asked if Reid was okay. _

"_I - I think so… My head and back hurt. I don't really know what happened." _

"_You ran off the road into a ditch. It don't appear that your truck has a lot of damage."_

"_I need help…" Reid said, trying to get his breath back after the jolt. "There's a woman, a few miles east from here. She kidnapped me. She's responsible for the death of my teammate." _

_He tried to push out of the truck, but there was so much pain all over his body. Tears collected in his eyes, but he kept them back._

"_Now calm down son. I'm Sheriff Donovan of New Hope. I saw your car and a few deer on the road. I'll bet you tried to avoid them." _

_Why did this Sheriff just stand there and smile at him. They needed to get back to the cabin. Ivan had disappeared, and the only person that might know where he'd gone was Clarissa._

"_I'm okay… "He began to shiver as the cold air filled the cabin of the truck. "You have to go back. You have to arrest her and find Ivan. He's the one that killed Emily." _

"_Calm down son…. I'll call for help and we'll get you some medical help." _

_He stepped back from the SUV. Reid tried to climb out of the truck, grimacing against the pain radiating though his body. His joints and muscles felt like someone had added broken glass to them when he moved. _

"_Look…" He said to the officer as he reached for his radio. "My name is Supervisory Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid. The woman that kidnapped me is named Dr Clarissa Thompson. Her accomplice's name is Ivan. I don't have a last name. He shot my partner SSA Emily Prentiss. Please help me or let me call my Unit Chief Derek Morgan." _

_As Reid had spoken, the sheriff stood stock still in the fading light of the day and the bitter cold. Reid tried again to get out of the truck until Donovan removed his gun from his holster. _

"_Stay right where you are son. Every cop in four states has been looking for you. You're wanted for the attempted murder of a federal officer." _

_Attempted murder?_

_He gaped at the cop as the man approached him the way Reid might approach an unsub with his team. "Just stay where you are Dr. Reid. You're under arrest for the attempted murder of Emily Prentiss. You have the right to remain silent…"_

_Reid listened in shock as the officer read him his rights. The Sheriff cuffed him behind his back before Reid could do more than protest. His head whirled under the weight of the cold, pain and the fact that the Sheriff had said "attempted murder." So Emily was alive._

"_She's not dead!" He said over the wind, as Donovan pulled him not gently out of the truck. His knees buckled and he dropped down onto the brilliant white snow._

"_Get up!"_

_Donovan spoke to him as though he were the worst of criminals. He yanked Reid to his feet and dragged him through the snow to the cop car at the side of the road. The blue and red light revolving on top splashed him with crimson as he moved closer. It looked like blood all over his skin and clothes. The snow made it through all the layers of the socks he wore and his feet felt like they had turned to blocks of ice._

"_I'm taking you to the hospital myself. I'll call Quantico when we get there. There're lots of people looking for you boy. You're a hot commodity." _

"_I didn't shoot her… You said she's alive. Let me go." He tried to pull away, but the Sheriff held on like a bull terrier. _

"_Are you trying to resist arrest boy. You don't want to be doing that." _

_Then something hit the top of his head and everything went black again._

Reid pulled his head up to the top of his neck, screaming with pain as he moved. Every part of his body ached as if he'd been hit by a car or beaten. The only thing that didn't hurt was the old break in his foot.

"Hey…"

Donovan ignored him as he piloted the car down the road. Reid twisted his head and groaned. All he could see were more trees and snow.

"I told you I didn't try to kill Emily. You haveto call my boss, SSA Derek Morgan. He can straighten this out. I'm sure he's talked to Emily and she told him all about what happened."

Silence reigned in the car except for the low sound of the radio and the hum of the tires on the street. "Hey… Why won't you listen to me? If you'll just make a phone call…"

"I told you to shut up boy. I don't go against the federal government. Just because you're a FBI agent don't exempt you from the law."

"I didn't do anything wrong. You have to believe me."

"Here's what I figure. I figure that you and this Agent Prentiss had something going." The man looked back at Reid briefly through the mesh between the front and back seat of the car. "I figure things didn't go so well with you two and you decided to kill her. What did she do to you son? Was she in another man's pants? I can understand how you'd be mad if she was, but you can't just shoot someone."

"That's not what happened. There's nothing going on with us!"

"I see it in your eyes son. You better be quiet now because I don't want to stop this car."

Reid shut up at the tone in the man's voice. He'd find a phone at the hospital and call Morgan. His unit chief would come here and convince this Sheriff of the truth.

He looked out the window as some large homes, pushed back off the road began to fly past. Emily was alive! Something tightened up in his chest. He'd thought he'd gotten used to the idea because there was nothing else for him to do. More tears backed up in his eyes, but he bit on his bottom lip to keep them back. Emily lived and that was just fine. Nothing else mattered at that moment.

---

George drove the SUV through the waning light of the day. They passed very few cars on the road once they passed through New Hope. The small town had exactly one stop light. The main drag consisted of a general store, a real estate office and a café. They saw a hardware store and a specialty dress shop that catered to hand made wedding dresses, which struck JJ as odd. The only doctor's office and a small hospital stood at the west end of town.

"Not a large town," She said to George.''

"That's why I left. I was bored here as a teenager. Now I love being back in Bucks county. It's peaceful here, except for now."

"And you're the only private eye in the county." She teased him as the other tried to smile.

"Yeah… That's really helps."

They passed out of the town as a police car drove by them and into the hospital parking lot. Otherwise, the street was deserted.

"How much further do we have to go?" Hotch said with some impatience registering in his voice.

"It's about twenty miles."

Morgan sat back and watched the scenery fly by as the sky darkened. What was happening to Reid now? What terrible things was Clarissa doing to him them as they drove? He should be behind the wheel. He'd get to them faster.

Miles passed under their wheels and finally they came to a bend in the road. Morgan noticed a black SUV off the road.

"Hey… do you think we should stop and see if they're alright." George said.

They pulled off the road despite Morgan's impatience. "Come on guys… Let's just call it in. We need to get to Reid."

"It'll only take a minute." Rossi piled out of the SUV with Hotch and George.

"What are they doing?" Morgan complained to JJ. "We should just call it in and -"

"Hey," She put a hand on his arm. "I care about him too, but what if someone's hurt. This is a pretty lonely stretch of road."

"I know that JJ… I'm just worried."

"Well, just think that Reid would want to stop and help whoever's down there."

Morgan had to smile at that. "Yeah…. I guess you're right. He's the most compassionate of all of us."

"That's for sure… To the point it gets him in big trouble."

Morgan frowned. "JJ… I found out something about Reid and me -"

Hotch's voice interrupted Morgan as he piled back into the truck. "We found Reid's cane in that truck. He held up the walking aid they all recognized.

"What the hell is going on?" Morgan asked.


	23. More Questions the Answers

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**More Questions then Answers**_

"What did you find?" JJ asked as the guys climbed back into the idling SUV.

"We found Reid's cane?" Rossi held it up to her.

"What?"

George shut the door and turned back to face her. "We found two sets of footprints in the snow. It looks like one set went down to the SUV and two left, coming back up here to the road."

"So… Reid was alone in the truck and someone else came and took him away after he ran off the road?"

"We don't know for sure." Rossi said, "but that's what it looks like."

"Was it Clarissa?" JJ asked as she tried not to give into the chills from the coldness in her heart.

"No… The footprints are too big." Morgan said as he looked out the window at the truck in the ditch. "They're the size of a man."

"Perhaps it was Ivan…"

"He's the only man in this plot other than Reid." Rossi observed.

"We don't know that for sure. Someone could have seen Reid or even caused the accident. Maybe they felt bad and tried to help him."

"We can't jump to conclusions." Hotch answered JJ's theory.

"No we can't," George agreed, running a hand through his short blond hair. "Something else went on here."

"He's right," Morgan agreed. "I think Reid somehow got the better of Clarissa. He took her truck and headed toward New Hope. The truck has GPS, it would have been easy. He either didn't have a phone or it didn't work."

"It wouldn't work out here." George said. "The kids around here call this area the "Dead Zone."

"So he couldn't make a phone call until he got closer to town. He's driving along and something happens to send him off the road."

"Like Ivan chasing him down," JJ asked, her blue eyes large in the rapidly fading light.

"Yes… I wish we had a forensics team up here and more light." Hotch said.

"So what do we do?" George said."

"I think we have to assume that Ivan took him back to the cabin." Rossi said.

"Unless someone else found him. He might have gotten away from Clarissa and Ivan and something else caused the wreck. They could have taken him to the hospital."

"Damn it!" Morgan cursed. "I wish we had two vehicles. We can't call the hospital but we need to know for sure."

The lights of an approaching vehicle grew in the back window of their vehicle. Blue and red lights began to swirl in the cold air as it drew up and stopped several yards in back of them.

"Here comes the local constabulary. I wonder what he's doing so far out here." Rossi observed mildly.

They waited as the officer left his car and strolled up to the driver's side of the truck. He approached them, his face shadowed by the darkness until he reached the window. George rolled it down to greet him.

"What're you folks doing," the officer began as he shined a small flashlight inside the cab of the truck. "Oh… is that you George?'

"Yeah… these are my friends from the FBI."

Morgan passed over his badge to the startled local. "I'm SSA Derek Morgan." He introduced the rest of the team. The officer touched a hand to the brim of the hat he wore. "It's a real pleasure to have you folks here." He said in a heavy Texan accent. "My name is Don Tucker. The Sheriff called me back from the other end of Bucks County. He said he needed me to watch over a wrecked SUV till you all got here. You sure did make good time."

"We were just on our way to see the Sheriff." Morgan said.

"He'll be right pleased. He's eager to get that rogue agent off his hands."

"I'm sure he is… My section chief neglected to tell us where your fine Sheriff could be found." Morgan played along.

"Why Sheriff Donovan's at the hospital watching over Dr. Reid."

"Is he… Well, we have all we need to see from the vehicle. I wonder if you'd be so kind as to take Agent Hotchner and Agent Jareau to the hospital. They'll take custody of Dr. Reid from your fine Sheriff."

"I'd be happy too. I'm sure the Sheriff's in need of a break looking out over an attempted murderer. I just can't believe that a real FBI agent tried to kill another agent then showed up here with some wild story about getting kidnapped."

"Can we go now?" Hotch asked with unusual impatience."

"Of course…"

Hotch and JJ left with Officer Tucker. Morgan waited until they climbed into his car and left back the way he'd come before he said. "Let's get out to that cabin and deal with the Russian and Clarissa."

"Why does Sheriff Donovan have Dr. Reid in his custody." George asked looking very confused.

"The FBI decided to overreact." Rossi said with disgust. "I really need to have a talk with Erin."

"Who's Erin?" George asked.

Morgan smiled at Rossi. "That's a very long story."

George shrugged and put the truck into gear. "Let's go get them."

---

Reid opened his eyes again and sighed. He'd hoped it had all been a dream. He looked pointedly at the Sheriff till the man nodded at him. "I want my phone call." Reid demanded in his best "kick-ass," voice. He'd been practicing. Funny how it didn't sound like Morgan or Hotch when they used their voices on un-subs, and troublesome LEOs and other annoyances.

"Now don't get excited young man. I called your colleagues. They're very anxious to see you again. They're bringing in their forensics team to go over your truck. I sent out my best man to watch over that truck until the FBI gets here."

"I didn't shoot my friend." He pulled on the cuffs that locked him to the hospital bed.

"I told you to settle down." Donovan said popping up to his feet. His rock hard body came to attention as though a soldier on parade. "I've been a police officer for twenty-five years. I was in the military for twelve years before that. I don't take kindly to being challenged by troublemakers."

"I just want to make the one phone I'm entitled to under the law."

"I'll tell you when and where and what you are entitled to." His icy blue eyes pinned Reid and chills raced up his back. "Now… I'm going for a cup of coffee. When I get back, you and I are going to have another discussion."

He left the room, letting the door fall shut with a loud click. Reid yanked on the cuffs. The Sheriff didn't scare him, he'd faced far worse, but if IAB came through that door, he'd be in serious trouble. If he could just get to a phone!

"Hey there," A voice, followed by a tall, plump woman in cranberry scrubs, came into the room.

She smiled at him from behind graying brown bangs and light whiskey colored eyes. "How are you?"

"I feel like I wrecked a truck."

'Hm… Sarcasm is a good sign. My name's Kim. I'll be your nurse for the night."

"You're talking to the enemy." He informed her and she laughed.

"Sheriff Donovan is a good man. He means well, but he gets caught up in his own importance." She came over to the bed and began to record numbers of the blood pressure monitor and other machines. She took his temperature with an instrument brushed lightly over his forehead. "Okay… your blood pressure's a little elevated, but I'm sure that has more to do with the Sheriff than your accident. Your temp's good and from your chart you don't have any broken bones. You do have mild case of whiplash. I need you to stay calm."

"I can't stay here." He whispered up to her. "I have to get out of here and make a call. There's no phone in here. Please help me out. I have to call my boss. I didn't hurt my friend. I was kidnapped. She's in a cabin about twenty miles west of here." He babbled as she listened. "I need to get someone out there. The Sheriff won't believe that I was kidnapped."

"Hey… settle down," The nurse shushed him. "You need to rest."

"Please help me!"

Kim studied the intense chocolate colored eyes that stared up at her. He reminded her of her son when he was small. Surely someone with the innocent eyes of a doe could be trusted. The misery in his face went straight to her heart.

"I've worked here for nearly thirty years. I've tended to a few troublemakers. You don't act like any of them."

He waited for her to make up her own mind.

"Alright…" She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. "Make it fast. You're not supposed to use this here, but I won't tell if you don't." She whispered.

He grabbed the phone as if it were a life preserver and dialed a familiar number. It went directly to voicemail and his heart sank.

"Morgan… It's Reid… I need your help. Some crazy Sheriff has me handcuffed to a hospital bed. You have to call off Strauss and come get me. I'll explain everything later."

He snapped the phone shut and handed it over to the nurse. "Thanks… I guess he's busy." He said as his heart sank.

"I'm sure he'll pick up the message soon. Now you relax. I'll do what I can to keep the Sheriff off your back." She smiled down at him.

"Thanks…"

She left the room to the agent's confusion and deep unhappiness in his heart.

----

George piloted the SUV up the dirt road Reid had traversed just hours ago. He was glad his truck had chains on the tires from the last storm. The tires bit through the snow as though he drove on a clear paved road. The agents didn't speak as he drove further away from the main road.

This group of agents intrigued him. He knew JJ very well, but he'd never expected her to work so closely with a group of profilers. They all seemed to get along and care about each other. He was thrilled that she was happy with the choice she'd made to go to Quantico.

No one spoke as they drew closer to their destination. It was as though they all knew that words wouldn't be appreciated right then. The sky blackened from deep purple to black. Brilliant points of golden-white lights filled the sky. Even though he'd found his home town boring as a teenager, now he appreciated it. You couldn't see stars like this in the city. In fact you couldn't see stars at all.

He considered these agents in the truck with him. JJ wouldn't work so closely and intensely with these people if they weren't the best. A few jitters in his stomach at approaching this cabin smoothed out. Even if this Clarissa Thompson saw them coming, they would handle her.

The truck rounded the last curve and suddenly the cabin appeared in front of them. He'd expected to see black windows in the glare of the headlights, but saw soft golden light glowing like candle light in every window.

"Doesn't look like she's afraid of visitors." Rossi said.

"How did Agent Reid get away if she's in there lighting candles. I assumed he restrained her or knocked her out somehow." George asked as he brought the truck to a stop.

"I don't know… Everyone be on your guard. Finely, stay here in the truck. You don't have a vest." Morgan ordered the detective.

"No way… I'm going in there."

His eyes clashed with Morgan till the unit chief sighed and inclined his head. "Fine… You stay behind Rossi."

"No problem… Let's get inside and end this now."


	24. Blood and Nightmares

_**Disclaimer: see profile**_

_**Blood and Nightmares**_

"So what do you want for dinner-" Garcia stopped short in the doorway to the bedroom. "Oh my God…" She rushed to Emily's still form on the floor. "Are you okay?" She touched her friend's face.

The white pallor of Emily's face galvanized her. She felt for a pulse on her neck. The thumping of Emily's heart made her hands shake with reaction. "Come on… wake up angel."

Emily laid still and white faced. Red had begun to seep through the bandage on her chest pushing Garcia to reach for her phone. "Why did you leave the hospital my dove?" She demanded as tears collected in the corners of her eyes.

She dialed 911 with hands that shook so hard she could hardly keep hold of the phone. "Please don't die on me." She said through clenched teeth.

----

Morgan and Rossi entered the small cabin first. George stayed behind them as they cleared all the rooms in just a few seconds. Every flat surface held burning candles. Their golden light lit the small cabin more brightly than the electric light. Some of the candles were scented, vanilla, cherry, pine, and other scents melded into a cloying miasma. George held his breath as they moved through the jittering light to the last door at the end of the hallway.

"That's the master bedroom," He said.

As they drew closer, music drifted through the closed door. He tried to remember where he'd heard it before, but the name wouldn't come to him.

Morgan gestured to Rossi to move to his right. Morgan turned the knob on the door. It didn't open so he simply reared back and kicked it open. The three men entered and stopped in their tracks at the sight in front of them.

"Holy Mother of God…" George said as the music soared around them.

Morgan lowered his gun, disgust and rage clouding his eyes as he surveyed the room and the figure on the bed in front of them.

The entire room had candles on every surface including the floor around the king sized bed. Rossi, with an unreadable expression on his face, stepped carefully around one red candle. He looked closely at the woman on the bed.

She laid spread eagle with her hands palms up as though begging heaven for forgiveness. Blood pooled and dripped around her. The metallic stench of the crimson life giving fluid had George wrinkling his nose. Her wrists had been deeply slashed, as had her throat. The knife lay at her side next to her right hand. Reid's purple scarf lay around her shoulders, but otherwise she was nude on the bed.

"She cut her own throat!" Finley asked in disbelief as the other men holstered their guns.

"She knew she'd lost Reid forever. Somehow he got the better of her so she took herself out rather than face life without him." Morgan said, as he looked around at all the framed photographs on the night side tables.

"Here's more…" Rossi called from the closet.

They left the body of Dr. Clarissa Thompson on the bed of ocean like colors and joined the profiler in the closet. He showed them the photo albums and the journals of the doctor.

"She writes in here that if she can't have Reid, she'd make sure no one else could have him. She promised to kill him and then herself if anyone tried to come between them."

"I'm not surprised," Morgan commented as he flipped through one of her numerous journals.

"I'll stay with the body if you want to get back into town and get Sheriff Donovan out here."

"I think we'll call in our own CSIs, no offense." Morgan said.

"None taken," George Finely smiled.

"Let's go!" Rossi said to Morgan "We'll get all this stuff packed up and taken back to the BAU."

"I hate to take all of this back for study. I wish we could burn it all and save Reid the humiliation."

"I know…"

---

Donovan's deputy pulled into the parking lot of a small one story building at the east end of New Hope. He parked the car next to a slot marked Emergency and turned off the engine. "This is New Hope Home Hospital. I'll show you into the prisoner ward." He said importantly.

"They have a prisoner ward!" JJ whispered to Hotch as they left the car for the bitter cold night.

Hotch didn't reply. His dark eyes flashed toward the deputy. "I don't think that's necessary." He snapped.

The deputy ignored the anger in Hotch's voice. "We have to keep him apart from the other patients." He said as though nothing was wrong with this statement.

They passed through the double doors into a small entryway. One nurse sat behind a desk. She looked up and smiled at the deputy. "How are ya Dan?"

"I'm fine Lisa… I have the FBI agents here that the sheriff sent for."

"Oh yes…" She stood up from behind the desk.

Her shoes squeaked on the grey floor tiles as she came around the desk. "He's in the prisoner ward. You know where it is."

"Yes I do. Would you call the sheriff for me?'

"Oh he's in the room with the agent now. He insisted on standing guard, although I don't understand why. That agent doesn't look like he'd hurt a fly."

"It's the innocent looking ones that cause the most trouble." Tucker winked at her and she blushed.

"If you don't mind, we'd like to take custody of the agent." JJ said impatiently.

"Of course… I'll take you there."

He led them through the hospital, which was the smallest JJ had ever seen. The silence in the halls began to grate on her nerves. They finally reached another nurses station. The man behind the desk reminded JJ of Morgan in size and his skin color. He looked up and smiled broadly. "I see the FBI decided to grace us with its presence."

Hotch pulled out his badge. "I'm SSA Hotchner. May I see Agent Reid and your sheriff?"

"You bet…" The big man left his station, his dark blue scrubs crackling as he moved, "Right this way."

They followed him down the hall to the right all the way to the end. Hotch stepped in after the nurse and confronted the sheriff who sat in the chair next to Reid's hospital bed. "My name is SSA Aaron Hotchner. This is SSA Jareau." He began angrily before the sheriff could speak. "SSA Reid is a member of my team. I'm his lawyer and I want him released to my custody now."

The sheriff jumped to his feet. "I was told the FBI wanted this man for the attempted murder of another agent. They didn't say anything about a lawyer." He pulled himself up and faced off with Hotch as JJ went to Reid's side.

"How are you Spence?" She asked as relief flooded his eyes.

"He's been harassing me since he found me at the accident." Reid said boldly, ignoring the death look the sheriff threw back at him. "I tried to tell him I didn't kill Emily. He said she's alive. Is she alive, JJ?"

"Yes she is Spence. She told us everything. Give me the keys to the handcuffs," She ordered the sheriff.

"Now wait just a damn minute…"

"Give her the keys. I'll be taking Dr. Reid out of here and back to Virginia. He won't be answering any more of your questions."

"Now I don't take orders -"

"You'll take them from me. I said I'm this agent's counsel and I'm instructing him not to speak another word. The federal government has jurisdiction in this case. I'll take over."

Donovan handed the keys to the cuffs to Hotch. His eyes burned into Hotch's face, but he didn't complain as JJ took off the cuffs.

Reid immediately sighed and rubbed at his wrists… "Thank you," he whispered to JJ.

"Now… Why don't we go outside? JJ will stay with Reid."

The sheriff stomped out the door with Hotch on his heels. JJ took the chair where the sheriff had been sitting on and began to talk.

"How are you Spence?"

His large dark eyes filled with something she didn't recognize. "I'm fine. I mean, I have whiplash and my good knee is now out of commission, but I'll live."

"I don't mean physically." She scolded him.

"I'm fine. I just never thought I'd see Clarissa again. I should have listened to Emily. She warned me that someone might be stalking me. I just thought…" He broke off, going pink in the cheeks.

"I'm glad you're okay." JJ squeezed his hand. "We've all been a little freaked out since you disappeared. You really have Strauss on the warpath. They think you shot Emily."

"I didn't," he squeaked. "It was some Russian guy Clarissa hired as a watch dog."

"We know… Hotch and Morgan will take care of it. If that doesn't work, Morgan will sic Rossi on Strauss."

"Really?"

JJ laughed, "Oh yeah… You should have seen him in the hospital while we waited for word on Emily. He shut Strauss down so fast, my head was spinning."

"How's Emily?"

"Don't look so down… She's okay… The bullet came close to her heart, but the doctors said she'll be okay. She remembered everything that happened, so Strauss doesn't have a leg to stand on with your case."

"Where's Clarissa?"

"I don't know. We split up. I have a private detective friend that went with Rossi and Morgan to the cabin."

"I don't ever want to see her again. Can we just get out of here?"

"Hotch will make that happen." She promised him. "Now why don't you try to get some rest?"

"I can't sleep. My whole body hurts. It feels like I fell out of a speeding car or something. Will you stay in here with me?"

"Yes… What do you want to talk about?"

"Tell me about Henry… I haven't seen him in a while."

"Yeah… I'm pretty mad at you about that too." She tried to look stern, but couldn't keep a straight face.

"I'm sorry. I guess we've been too busy."

"I'll forgive you if you promise you'll come over for Christmas."

She watched him gulp and go white. "That's a family holiday JJ. I don't want to intrude."

"You're not going to intrude. I won't let you make any more excuses. Now promise you'll come by for dinner."

"I promise I'll come by for dinner." He repeated.

"Good… Henry will be so happy to see you. He loves you."

"He doesn't know me well enough to love me. Besides, kids his age don't know the first thing about love and -"

JJ cut him off with a look. "He loves you Spence. Just believe in that and go with your feelings for once."

"I went with my feelings one time and look where it got me." He said, fear and sadness filling his eyes.

"Garcia opened your sealed file. She told us about what happened with Dr. Thompson."

He turned his head away from her.

"Hey… It's okay Spence. You were young and vulnerable. She took advantage of you. It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was!" He said angrily, turning back to face her. "I should have said no to her."

"Spence…"

"I don't want to talk about it."

The door opened to his room and Hotch walked in. "The doctor's on his way. I'm going to take you home tonight." He informed the young agent.


	25. Waking up in the Hospital Part Two

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Waking up in the Hospital, Part Two_**

Morgan's phone buzzed as they entered New Hope. "Morgan," He grabbed it out with his free hand.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you for two hours. Where have you been Derek?"

Garcia's annoyed voice made him smile even if she left off the usual smart-ass remark. "I've been in the "dead zone" for the last few hours."

"What's that?" She asked.

"Never mind… We found Clarissa Thompson. She's dead. She killed herself. It's finally over."

"Really?" She squealed, making him pull the handset away from his ear. "Is my baby boy okay?"

"He's in the hospital."

"What?"

"You gotta stop screaming in my ear mama." He smiled.

"Sorry… What happened to him?"

"He got in a bit of a car accident. He managed to get away from the black widow. We don't know what caused him to crash."

"He's going to be okay though?"

"Yes, if Hotch can get him out of the clutches of the overeager locals."

"What's _that _supposed to mean?"

"Baby girl, I'm driving right now. Can I get back to you? The roads are a little icy."

"You better tell me everything or I'll make your cyber life a hell on earth."

"You're beautiful when you're angry."

"Don't try to sweet talk me Derek."

"Why did you call in the first place?" He turned off the main street onto Silver Creek Lane.

"I'm back in the hospital with Emily. She fell trying to get out of bed and ripped open a couple of stitches."

"Damn it!"

"She's okay handsome."

"Don't let her leave again. We should be home sometime tomorrow morning anyway if they let Reid out of the hospital."

"Alright, bye-bye for now."

----

Hotch walked back into Reid's room thirty minutes later. The doctor still hadn't arrived and Reid had fallen to sleep with one light on over his head. He lay on his side with his long fingered hands under his ear. He slept with a frown on his face and pain around his mouth.

His phone buzzed so he quickly left the room to take the call. "Hotchner!"

"We found Dr. Thompson." Morgan said without a greeting. "She slashed her wrists and throat. She was dead before we got there."

Hotch put his hand to his head as the headache he'd been nursing jacked up again. "Where are you?"

"We just got back into town. We'll be there in a few minutes. Finley stayed with the body. I'm calling in federal help with her body. I don't want the local's anywhere near this."

"I agree… I'll tell Reid when he wakes up."

Hotch shut his phone and went back into Reid's room. Hotch took the chair the sheriff had occupied and winced at the pain in his abdomen. The stab wounds had healed, but sometimes he ached as if it was yesterday. The doctor said it was the result of too much work and stress.

He closed his eyes and let his mind drift for a few minutes while he waited for Reid's doctor. If the doctor said so, they'd leave soon. He wanted to go back to Virginia now, but he didn't have the heart to wake the young man from his precious sleep. Who knew what Clarissa Thompson had done to him over the last two days? Reid deserved an escape from reality, now even more than ever.

He rubbed at the bridge of his nose. Maybe he'd spent too much time going over Foyet's file. He'd lost Haley and the chance at normal family years ago because of his dedication to this job. Why hold on so tightly to a job that had cost him the two most precious people in his life? Reid and the others were extreme workaholics too. He sometimes wished he could explain to them the cost of this job. None of them had anyone special to go home too and Hotch wondered now if that were good or bad.

His eyes popped open when Reid began screaming in his hospital bed. "No… I don't want it. Please don't give it to me. Tobias! Please stop. I don't want to stay with her. I hate her. Clarissa… Please don't -"

He went to the man's bed just as Reid exploded out of sleep. Monitors began beeping and a nurse hurried into the room. "Please stand aside sir." She began taking vitals and checking equipment.

"Hotch?" Reid's voice pulled his attention back to Reid.

"Are you okay?"

Reid's eyes were huge and dark in the low light of the room. "Nightmare…" He swallowed. "I'm thirsty."

"Can I give him some water?"

"Yes…" The nurse said. "I'm going to give you something to calm -"

"NO!" Reid shouted. "I don't want any more drugs. Don't _touch_ me." He yanked his arm out of her hand.

"It's okay… I'll stay with him till Dr. Cameron gets here." Hotch assured the nurse.

"Alright… If he needs me please push the call button." She left looking a little put out."

"I think you irritated your nurse Reid." Hotch said.

Reid stared at him and then the ghost of a smile worked its way onto his pale and exhausted face. "I guess I should apologize to her. She was just trying to do her job."

"I'm sure she deals with that sort of thing all the time. Don't they say doctors are the worst patients?"

Reid laughed a little and some of the misery left his eyes. "I'm not a medical doctor."

"Right," Hotch conceded. "I just heard from Morgan. They found Dr. Thompson. She's dead."

Reid's eyes went flat and hard. "Did they have to kill her?"

"No… She killed herself." Hotch said.

"She always was resourceful. I gave her a sedative she used on me. I tied her up with duct tape. She managed to get out of that." He smiled ruefully. "I guess I should've looked harder for my cuffs."

"Are you sorry she's dead?"

"No!" Reid sighed. "I don't feel anything."

"That's okay Reid! You don't have to feel anyway at all."

"I know… I just thought I'd feel relief that it's over and I don't feel that."

"Do you want to talk about the dream?" Hotch changed the subject.

Reid turned over to his back and closed his eyes. His hands clenched into the bed sheets until the knuckles turned white. "No," He whispered. "I just want to be able to close my eyes and sleep without bad dreams. Is that too much to ask?"

"No!"

Reid opened his eyes. "I'm sorry Hotch. I know you have reasons for bad dreams too. I just -"

"It's okay Reid. We all have demons, especially in this job. I finally realized that I can't stop doing this job. It cost me the love of my life. My family's in the Witness Protection Plan because of this job and I can't leave it behind. I have to do this job. I have to help people because it's part of who I am. You're the same person inside, Reid. We all are on this team. The dreams will go away or they'll change. You have to close your eyes and hope they don't come back every night."

"No offense Hotch, but have you be able to close your eyes and not see Foyet in the last weeks?"

Hotch didn't speak. He wanted to be angry with his young friend, but Reid had a point. This life came with a high price.

"You're right…" He finally said. "I had a very personal demon out there after me and my family. He tried to kill me."

"So what do we do?" Reid asked.

"Talk about it. Maybe you can go to a movie when we get home."

Reid smiled, going a bit pink in the cheeks. "You know I don't go to the 'movies' Hotch."

Hotch wanted to smile at the italics in the young man's voice, but he fought the urge. "I don't care as long as you're okay."

"I'm okay Hotch. Actually I could do with a 'movie,' he admitted.

"Let's talk to the doctor and see if we can get you home."

----

Emily opened her eyes for the second time in a few hours to see familiar white tiles over her head. Her chest hurt again, but she didn't feel as dizzy as she had before blacking out. How had she gotten back to the hospital? Oh, right… She'd been with Garcia.

"I see you're back with us." A kind voice said to her.

She turned her head to see a young man with a military haircut and arms like Morgan standing at her side taking vital signs. "I heard you jumped ship before you were ready to leave."

"Word travels fast around here." Emily said irritably.

"We have to have something to gossip about over the bad coffee here." He winked at her.

"That's wonderful!"

"Seriously… I was supposed to take over for Maggie when you signed yourself out. My name is Craig by the way." His grey eyes sparkled down at her.

"I hate it when you guys get that, "I told you so," tone in your voices." She grumbled.

"Next time stay put and you won't have to hear it." He advised her. "Now… I have someone outside that wants to see you."

He left and Garcia came inside looking very put out behind her ruby colored frames. "Why are you trying to kill yourself in my care?" She demanded of Emily.

"I'm not trying to kill myself."

"You could have fooled me. I nearly had a heart attack when I came into the room and you were lying there on the floor."

"You exaggerate," Emily said and coughed.

"I never exaggerate angel fish. You were bleeding all over the carpet of a friend's house. Who's going to clean it up?"

"I will if you get me out of here. I need to help find Reid and I hate hospitals!"

Garcia put her hands on her hips. "You're not leaving here again. Morgan ordered me to make sure you stay here. I'm staying until the doctors say you can leave."

"Alright…" Emily winced at another pain in her chest."

"Are you hurting?" Concern pushed the annoyance out of Garcia's face.

"I'm okay…"

"I'll get the nurse." She started to turn away.

"No, I want to hear about the case. Did you guys find Clarissa?"

Garcia came close and put a hand on Emily's upturned palm. "I talked to Morgan a couple of hours ago." She yawned.

"What did he say?"

"They're in Pennsylvania. Clarissa's bought a small vacation cabin there. It's where she was holding Reid."

"Was?"

"Yes… He managed to get away, but he got in a car accident."

Emily immediately tried to sit up and get out of bed. Dizziness struck and so did more pain in her chest as Garcia pushed her shoulder back down onto the bed.

"Stay there!" She ordered angrily. "I'll call the nurse in here if you don't behave.

Emily lay down, panting at the effort of trying to get out of the bed. "Is he okay?" She said through gritted teeth.

"Yes… They found Clarissa. She's dead."

"What about the Russian?"

"He didn't say."

"If he's still out there, he might come looking to clear up any witnesses." Emily said, fear jumping up in her eyes. "I don't think he cares whether those witnesses are federal agents or not."

"Don't worry… I called Strauss a few minutes ago. She agreed to give you protection. She's not happy about the turn of events, but at least she and IAB are off Reid's back about your shooting."

Emily breathed out a sigh of relief and some of the pain in her chest and head went away. "I'm really tired."

"I'll get the nurse for you. You're in pain.

"Thanks Garcia…"

She watched her friend leave the room. Reid was okay. She should feel happy about it, but something still ached in her heart and it had nothing to do with her gunshot wound.


	26. Home is Where the Heart is

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n here's the last full chapter. There will be an epilogue coming up next, so stay tuned **_

_**Home is where the Heart is**_

The jet barely had time to reach it's cruising altitude before it began it's descent back into DC. Still, Reid stretched out on the bench and shut his eyes. If he pretended to sleep, the guys might leave him alone.

He sighed and turned over to his back, keeping his eyes shut tight. What good did it do to look up at the ceiling? He knew every inch of the plane. It didn't do any good to try to lose the last three days in the interior of the company jet. Every taste, smell, and touch could be easily found in his mental file marked,"Dr. Clarissa Thompson."

He bent and straightened his bruised knee. The pain flared with each movement but instead of reminding him of the cabin in the woods, it shut it out. If he could shut out her face from his mind even for an instant then maybe everything would finally be okay. He wouldn't feel like such a stupid idiot for… Oh God! What must the others think of his weakness? Surely, they all know everything by now. How could he continue to face them with all of it out in the open? He had been easily manipulated as a teenager because of his hormones. It didn't matter that he didn't have any other outlet. It didn't matter that he'd been lonely and sad because of his mother and father. He should've resisted her.

"Reid?"

"Not now Morgan!"

He heard the creak of a body moving in the chair next to him. His friend didn't speak again and Reid regretted his tone. He opened his eyes and looked up. He could sit up. He could confide in his unit chief. He could just let it go and pretend that nothing had changed. He closed his eyes and flexed his knee. The renewed pain didn't work. All he could see were a pair of green eyes when he wanted to see brown.

He swallowed against the misery that wanted to leap out of his throat in a scream. If he freaked out now on the plane in front of his team, they'd send him away for good. Maybe it was better that way. Maybe he should break down because then he'd be free of all the suffering from the job. Maybe Clarissa was right. Yes, he loved the job, but the job didn't love him. It was like the weird kind of one-sided love affair with someone that only wanted to hurt him.

_Kind of like your relationship with Clarissa? _

_She didn't want to hurt me._

_Oh no… What do you call the last two days? There's more than one kind of hurting. _

The pilot's voice came over the speaker telling them that they were beginning descent into DC. He flipped to his left side facing away from his team. He'd have to look at them soon, but not now.

---

Morgan moved up from his seat back to where Hotch sat at the back of the plane. Rossi looked over his file and ignored them as Morgan spoke quietly. JJ slept soundly curled up in her chair with a book on her lap.

"Is he really okay."

"The doctor said he had a mild case of whip lash. His arm is burned from the air bag. He has bruises on his face and his knee that aren't related to the car accident.

Morgan's jaw muscle popped. "She did it?"

"I don't know. He didn't say anything to me except to talk about bad dreams and personal demons."

Morgan smiled ruefully. "Personally, I don't have any demons."

Hotch only stared him down.

"Okay… Not funny right now," Morgan admitted. "I just wish I knew how to help him."

"I think he has a good support system in us and others." Hotch said.

"Yeah…"

Hotch lifted his eyebrows. "You know."

"I know… It wasn't hard to figure out. I'm glad he's got people outside of this living nightmare we call our jobs."

"Yes… We all need that."

"Even you boss."

"You're the boss Morgan."

"Only until we clear up this mess with Foyet."

"I think it'll be longer than that."

"Hotch!"

"I think this argument is best saved for another day." Hotch nodded in the direction of Reid.

"Okay… So what do I do?"

"Let him work it out. He has to deal with a lot including Emily. He doesn't need you watching over him like an overgrown watchdog."

Morgan growled under his breath.

"You know what I mean."

Morgan rubbed his hand over his smooth head. "Yes I think I understand. Wow… This boss thing is harder than I though it would be. What do I do about Strauss?"

"Don't worry… Rossi is looking forward to dealing with her. I already talked to the Director. He'll want statements from all of us, but it'll be okay."

"Thanks Hotch," Morgan stretched out his legs as far as they would go under the seat.

"Close your eyes for a minute. We'll be landing soon."

---

"Hey girl," Garcia entered Emily's hospital room with a large purple bag slung over her shoulder. It matched the purple sweater she wore and her glasses. Her lime green skirt swished as she walked and it made Emily smile despite the fact that it was almost noon and no one else had come to see her.

"Where's everyone? They got back okay."

"Yes… The storm last night delayed the flight until this morning, but I just heard from Morgan. They're all here and okay."

"How… Um, how is Reid?"

"I don't know sweetie. Morgan said he wouldn't talk to anyone. He wouldn't come to the hospital to be checked out. He told Morgan he'd go see his doctor tomorrow."

"Oh…"

So he wouldn't be coming in to see her. She found that thought hurt more than the pain in her chest from the gunshot.

"Emily?"

"I'm okay… Look I'm really tired."

Garcia got up from the chair next to Emily's bed. "Say no more my dove. I'm ready to drop too. I couldn't sleep at all last night. I'm going to go home and sleep. I'll be back tonight before visiting hours are over."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know I don't… She leaned down to kiss Emily on the forehead like a mother with a child. "JJ's coming to see you later on. So rest up."

"Okay…"

Garcia left and Emily tried to close her eyes to sleep. Reid wouldn't be coming to see her. She could feel it in her bones. How could she sleep when she had so much to say?

---

Reid opened the door to his apartment. He looked at the wall next to the door and decided that he needed to install an alarm system. He wouldn't let this happen again. In fact, perhaps it was time to move to a new place. He'd been here since he'd started at the FBI. Clarissa had sullied the place for him. How could he stay there now?

He limped as fast as he could with his cane, returned to him by Hotch, into his kitchen. He suddenly had to get out of the clothes Clarissa gave him. He pulled off the sweater and the jeans. He balled them up and shoved them into the trash under the kitchen sink. He took off the socks she'd bought for him and shoved them in after the other clothes. If he could, he would burn them.

He hurried back to the bedroom and pulled his robe out of the closet. He couldn't wait to get in the shower and try to wash her away.

---

He hesitated at the door. He needed the meeting desperately, but what would the guys think about his injuries. Everything hurt. He moved like an old man with the cane.

_They've seen you hurt before and they haven't grilled you about it. Go inside!_

He took a deep breath and opened the door. It swung open silently into a warm outer room. Someone stood outside the double doors to the meeting room looking at him.

"John…" He squeaked.

"I've been waiting for you Spencer. Are you okay?"

Reid hobbled to a group of chairs near the door and sat down. "I'm fine!"

"You look like hell!"

"Thanks…"

John took the chair across from Reid. "I read Strauss's report."

Reid looked at his feet. "She has it in for the team. I'm sure she'll fire me when I go back in a couple of weeks."

"No… She's not going to fire you. Remember who I am."

Reid lifted his head. "I don't want any special treatment John."

"It's not special treatment. I have a stake in keeping the best team in the BAU together. Erin Strauss will have to deal with it. If not, she and I will have a chat."

"Okay…"

"Now, let's go inside. I'm sure the guys are waiting to see you."

"Wait John," Reid went pink in the cheeks. "Um… Thanks for your support of me. If I didn't have you in the bureau I think maybe I would've let this job get the best of me."

"I think your team has more to do with that than me, but thanks." He reached out and patted Reid's arm."

Reid nodded. "I know they all care about me, but I don't know if I can face them when they clear me back for duty."

"Give them more credit than that Spencer… I know they'll surprise you."

"I hope so! I really want to go back and go to work. I don't want that awkward feeling."

"You can't expect that you'll walk in there and there won't be a moment of awkward silence, but I know it won't last."

"Yeah… Let's go inside," Reid decided.

"It's time." John agreed.

He followed John into the room. It looked like every guy he knew had shown up that night. Something broke inside him when most of them turned to see him. No one spoke, but he saw in every eye the acceptance he'd longed for as a child and a young man. He bit down hard on the inside of his lip so the threatening tears didn't fall.

He and John took the last two remaining chairs just as the meeting began. He stood again, wanting to be the first one to say the words, needing it so badly it rivaled the need for Dilaudid on his worst day.

"My name is Spencer…" He began.


	27. Epilogue

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n thank you all for supporting this story. A huge shout out to my beta REIDFANATIC for all her help with this story and it's various incarnations. **_

_**Epilogue**_

Reid paced in front of the elevator. Why did elevators always take their sweet time when you were in a hurry he wondered. It was as if they knew you wanted to get somewhere quickly and they made it their mission to stop you in your tracks.

The door finally opened to reveal Mrs. Slater. She pushed a wire basket on wheels as she exited the car. "Oh… Hello Dr. Reid, I'm so glad you're okay." She left the basket and hugged him hard.

"Um… Thanks," he squeaked.

"How's your friend?" She asked.

"Who?" He asked, bewildered.

"That beautiful agent you were with that night." She asked.

Something that Morgan told him clicked over in his head like never before, "You're the anonymous caller to the police."

His neighbor went pink in the cheeks. "My husband didn't know about my disposable cell. He thinks cell phones are the tools of the devil or something. He gets so mad when people talk on them in supermarkets and restaurants. He wouldn't let me get a phone, so I bought it and minutes on my own. I knew if I told him, he'd try to interfere, but when I saw that man shoot your friend and drag you off, I had to help."

"I'm floored," he admitted. "You saved Emily's life. Thank you."

"I was in the right place at the right time. I'd left my pocket book in the car so I'd come down here to get it and saw everything."

"Why didn't you tell the police when they knocked on your door?"

"I did… They didn't believe me. They thought I was some nutty old woman. I think they just wanted to believe you tried to kill your friend."

"Thank you," he repeated.

"You're welcome… The police believe me now and my husband is so busy basking in second hand light he doesn't care about the phone."

Reid smiled. "Can I help you Mrs. Slater." He gestured at the basket.

"No, I need the exercise and if I haul up the laundry on my own, I may get sympathy for once from Mr. Slater." She said with a gleam in her eyes that made Reid laugh.

"Okay…" He pushed the call button for the elevator again as she pushed the cart away.

He opened the door to his apartment and stopped dead in his tracks. Emily sat on the couch, but despite her sitting there, he thought he had opened the wrong door.

His living room had been transformed into a Christmas wonderland. There was red ribbon, holly and a Christmas tree. Someone had decorated it with red and gold ornaments with white and red lights. An angel topped the tree with large golden wings and a beautiful smile on her face.

"Don't just stand there gaping." Emily said.

"How did you get in here? What did you do to my place?"

"Did you forget you gave Morgan a key two years ago after Georgia?" She reminded him.

"Oh, so this is why he made me go have a drink with him."

Emily smiled up at him as he stood there staring around the room. "Yes… He knew you wouldn't decorate so JJ, Garcia and I did this."

"Oh… Well I'm sure you have better things to do." His eyes kept straying to the picture, once kept in his room, which now sat on the coffee table.

"No, I don't have better things to do."

She patted the couch next to her. "I think you should sit down. You look terrible."

"It was a tough first day back."

"I'm sure it was. Morgan won't let me come back for another month."

"He's right!" He blurted out, and then blushed.

"Sit down."

He sat down, but as far away from her as he could get.

"I don't bite you know."

He picked at the sleeve of his dark brown corduroy coat. "I know…" He said softly.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" She picked up the picture frame.

"I - I d-didn't want…" He stopped and breathed in deep. "I didn't want to mess up our friendship. I thought, um I don't really know… I can't…"

Emily slid over on the couch and touched his hand. The silence expanded over them like a bubble. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She wasn't smiling. He turned his head to look at her face. She looked at him the same way she'd looked at him on the plane after their ordeal in Colorado. Something twisted in his chest.

"I'm sorry Emily. I shouldn't have put this out here." He pulled it from her hands and stumbled to his feet. "I - I just, um, I'll take this out of here -"

She grabbed his hand as he tried to escape her eyes. "Wait!"

Her eyes flashed up at him. "I didn't say I'm angry. Don't you see Reid? I asked Morgan to distract you. It's Christmas in two days. I wanted to give you an early gift if you want it."

He sat and she took the picture from him. "You don't need this anymore."

He stared at the image behind glass that had fueled his dreams and fantasies because this had to be a dream or fantasy. It couldn't be real because this kind of thing didn't happen to guys like him.

"Reid…"

"She did something to me one night." He started speaking very slowly. "She drugged me one night. I had this dream about you." He went scarlet in the face. "I'm sorry… It was a very inappropriate dream. I know you probably hate me, but I couldn't help it. She took off my clothes. She got into bed with me. I think her… um I think -"

She touched his hand. "I don't need to hear the rest Reid. It was her fault. She drugged you and played with your mind. She's the guilty one. You're the victim."

"You're not mad at me!" He asked incredulously.

"No… Why would I be?"

He looked down at the stack of books on his coffee table for long minutes. She waited quietly until he met her eyes again. The sense of relief in his face seemed to push back all the tension in the air like wind moves fog.

He looked at her because he couldn't keep his eyes off her face. "I'm sorry I didn't come see you in the hospital." He said abruptly. "I couldn't see you like that. I'm sorry." He repeated.

"I'm so sorry you went through days of thinking I'd been killed."

"I'm glad she's dead!" He whispered.

"I know," she repeated. "Morgan got the forensics report on Clarissa…"

"I don't want to know." Reid said softly.

"I think you do. Clarissa was murdered. She didn't kill herself."

"I don't understand."

"Morgan got word that federal agents in Phidelphia picked up Ivan Gregorevich. They found blood on his clothes, that they matched to Dr. Thompson. The CSU determined that he came back to the house, released her and then made it look like she killed herself. He admitted to all of it. He would have come after us next. He didn't want to leave any lose ends. He's on his way back to Russia for his crimes there. Even though we don't get to see him go to prison, I think I like the thought of him in a Russian Gulag for the rest of his life."

"That's the best news I've had in a long time."

Reid sat smiling shyly at her for a moment. Then she shook herself and said. "I have gift for you." She reminded him. She reached over the side of the couch and pulled gift bag into view.

"Emily…"

"Just look at it."

He opened it and pulled out a scarf, a new purple scarf. "Thank you." He stammered.

"I thought you could start over with a new scarf. Well I just thought you'd like a clean slate. If you don't like it -"

He leaned over and kissed her hesitantly. "Thank you… I really love it."

"I love you." She said.

"What?"

"I love you… I tried not to love you, but I couldn't help myself. It's been coming on for a long time. After I was shot, I had a lot of time to think. I realized that life is too short to avoid feelings."

"I'm g-glad." He stammered. "I l-love you too."

"Now what do we do?" He asked.

"I can think of several things." She waggled her eyebrows. He just stared at her in confusion.

"Oh Reid, you're so innocent." She laughed.

He got it! His cheeks went scarlet. "Um… Maybe we can start with coffee or a movie." He squeaked.

"That works for me!"

He shuffled closer to her and took her hand. "I don't know what to do now."

"One day at a time." She advised him and they both knew she meant more than their relationship.

"Yeah… One day at a time! I like that! "


End file.
